Saudade | Loubbie

Chapter Sixty Six

It was as if the whole skies opened and came fell these tiny sparkling daisies and stars.  The night was magical as if outside the celestials were singing love songs that only them knew about; in the arms of the woman she loved half of her life, Debbie felt it. Saturday nights, by far, were not the best for Debbie. For years, Saturday nights consisted of her alone, nursing a bottle of whiskey, regretting every single mistake she did. But now it all changed. The television set was on, Cinderella, Blaire's favorite Disney film was playing and the little kid was sleeping on Debbie's lap, tightly like a little kitten.

"Should we?" Debbie quietly asked, pertaining to Blaire who was deep in her slumber on her lap, "I don't like to disturb the baby." She added as she caressed Blaire's head.

Lou kissed Debbie's head as she slowly wriggled out of her sitting position on the sofa, "She's a heavy sleeper." The blonde commented as she stood in front of Blaire before slowly lifting her up to her chest, "Can you prepare the bed?"

"Sure will do."

Quietly, as if they were a married couple putting their kid to sleep, Lou and Debbie walked up to the stairs. When the two successfully placed Blaire on the bed, they trudged outside towards the balcony. The quiet, the stillness, the tranquility that the night brought gave them both peace. With Debbie overlooking the view ahead, Lou gradually snaked her arms around the brunette from behind. No words were spoken, but the way the warmth from Lou's hug seeped into the furthest bones of Debbie was enough to let Debbie know that Lou was going to make every single thing alright.

"I can hear you thinking." Lou broke the ice as she tightened the hug, almost as if she was trying to make Debbie spit what her thoughts were.

With a soft laugh, Debbie slowly turned to face Lou. There was something enigmatic the way Lou's whole face brightened as she met Debbie's brown eyes. Appositely, as Debbie took the whole image of Lou upon her, she noticed few wrinkles on the side of the blonde's eyes; Lou's skin, despite all the years have passed remained porcelain, like  she was drenched in milk underneath the sun, still she was not able to refrain the history of years written on her skin, thus she remained as beautiful as she once was the first time they met. Debbie slowly realized that they really were not getting any younger. With her breath held, she moved to touch Lou's face and Lou closed her eyes as Debbie's fingertips landed on her nose, down to her lips.

"You're beautiful." Debbie mumbled as she stared at Lou's whole face, "Still so beautiful." She added.

The blonde slowly opened her eyes as she cupped Debbie's face, "That is not what you are thinking, honey."

Debbie rolled her eyes, "It is."

Lou caught her waist and held her through it, "No, that's not it. Tell me."

"It is!"

The blonde pulled her through her waist, "It's not. Come on. Tell me now."

"Baby..." Debbie breathed as she put her arms around Lou's neck, "I was really thinking you're beautiful. Still so beautiful. But aside from that, nothing. I was just thinking how we finally got here." She seriously looked at the blonde before she stated, "And I'm happy. I don't us to be dissolved again."

"I'm sorry for it took a little while." Lou answered before squeezing Debbie through her waist, "And goodness, I don't want to ever lose you again. Never."

Debbie exhaled an air, finally able to breathe without her emotional baggage hanging through her, "Promise me we will work this out. Promise me we will do our best to make this last." She leaned her forehead against Lou's as she closed her eyes, "Promise me, Louise." She whispered, almost like begging her to do it all.

Lou exhaled, not an air of exasperation, but an air of bottled what ifs. The blonde was sure there would be many obstacles that would come their way - it was always like that; it was as if her relationship with Debbie was cursed by the gods, but she wanted it. She wanted Debbie, and all that comes with having Debbie. The blonde slowly took Debbie's hands and kissed each one of them before she looked at her with the same glance she gave her on their wedding day.

"I cannot promise you that there will be no more tears. What I can promise you is that I will never ever give us up again. I cannot lose you again, baby."

"I love you." Debbie replied, giving the blonde a smile.

Lou kissed her hand again, "I love you more than this heart..." She pointed at her chest with a grin, "...more than this heart can take. I love you more and more and more." She backed away as she went to the other side of the balcony, held onto the railing as she shouted, "Hello universe! I want you to know that I love Debbie Ocean so much! This lawyer and professor right here, is the one I love! I love this --"

Debbie ran up to her, laughing as she tried to cover her mouth, "What are you doing?" She asked while trying to shush her down by covering her mouth.

"Quit pulling me down, Debs. I'm trying to tell the universe who I am in love with." Lou spoke before inhaling an immense amount of air, getting herself ready before she, again, shouted, "I will marry this woman again! Just wait and see!"

"Lou! Jesus. You're gonna wake the whole world." Debbie commented as she pulled her through her shirt from behind.

"And what if then?"

The brunette turned and leaned her back on the railing, "I don't want them to wake up."

Lou paused as she tried to decipher her answer, "And why don't you want the world to wake up, Ms. Ocean?" The blonde asked coyly just as she got down and stood up in front of the brunette.

"Because..." Debbie looked at her with her lips twitched, "I want to own you tonight. I want you all to myself and I cannot do that if the whole world is awake. I want us tangled together with the moon on our bedsheet and the whole world behind us sleeping."

"Did I hear you talking about owning me tonight?" The australian asked to which Debbie gave her a nod for an answer, "Nuh ah. Not happening. Vice versa. I'll own you tonight."

"Really?"

Lou bent down to place a kiss on Debbie's clavicle, "Really..."

"God I miss your lips on me." Debbie commented, "I want you, Louise."

"Show me."

Suddenly there was fire on their tongues and underneath their skin. With Lou's word, Debbie knew it was more than just a command, more than a dare. The brunette knew that Lou's words were a to-do that her body and soul have become so familiar with and with those two words, Debbie felt her bones beginning to melt. Debbie knew that she couldn't really speak the language of romance fluently, let alone have Lou realized the love she bear for her, but she knew that her body could.  With the blonde staring at her, waiting for her to do something, Debbie felt the need to be baptized and so she did the very best she can: she let her night gown kissed the balcony floor and underneath the golden hue of the moon, Debbie Ocean stood naked in front of Lou Miller.

***