Saudade | Loubbie

Chapter Sixty Eight

The car ride home was quiet. The rain was still pouring heavily and it did look like the rain was going to be there the whole day. After Lou had hushed the brunette down, she took her into the car, placed her on the passenger seat before she took over the wheels. The blonde had decided to leave her car there since Debbie had her car too. She made a mental note that she was just going to take it back later. After the event that occured in the cemetery, Debbie was silent and Lou did not bother to ask her why. Lou had memorized every fiber of Debbie's flesh, had recognized every strand of Debbie's hair, and she knew, that at that time, Debbie did not want to talk.

The brunette looked out the window; the trees passing and the raindrops falling all made the day gloomier. As Lou kept on driving, she somehow wished she could lift Debbie's heart, but she partly knew she could not, because Lou knew that a big chunk of reason why Debbie was like that was Danny and if there was someone who could understand Debbie, it was her. Lou, like Debbie, had tasted the agony of losing a kid, of having to bury your own child; she too had tasted days and nights of I could have saved her, but I didn't  and, like Debbie, Lou still has not kissed grief goodbye completely.

The car stopped as the red light on the highway bloomed. There were cars in front, beside, and behind them - no more trees to look at, still, Debbie was looking outside. It felt like she was embarassed to look at Lou, or maybe she just did not want Lou to stare at her swelling eyes and red nose, the blonde really did not know. So while the car was waiting for the green light, the blonde opened the car radio before she moved to hold Debbie's hand with her right hand.

I see the crystal raindrops fall
And the beauty of it all
Is when the sun comes shining through

Debbie turned to look at Lou and then down to their hands.

To make those rainbows in my mind
When I think of you sometime
And I wanna spend some time with you

Lou gave her a straight draw of her lips, as she asked, "Are you okay?"

Just the two of us
We can make it if we try
Just the two of us
(Just the two of us)

"You don't have to answer, but know that your feelings are valid." The blonde added, her thumb caressing the back of Debbie's hand.

Just the two of us
Building castles in the sky
Just the two of us
You and I

With a sly shook of her head, Debbie gave her a tiny smile, "I will be."

We look for love, no time for tears
Wasted water's all that is
And it don't make no flowers grow

The stoplight turned green and Lou continued to drive, "You're absent from work. You've got plans today? Anything you want to do, honey?"

Good things might come to those who wait
Not for those who wait too late
We gotta go for all we know

Debbie took a few seconds. Despite Lou holding her hand as tightly and as reassuringly as the blonde could, the brunette's mind was still miles away. Debbie honestly did not know what she wanted to do too, but deep down, she knew that dwelling into regrets and melancholy all day was not going to do her good. She paused, pushed her mind to think about things she could do to divert her attention, but after almost two minutes of doing so, she turned back to look at Lou only to give her a shook of her head.