Saudade | Loubbie

Chapter Fifty Nine

Debbie held her breath as she watched the blonde from across the whole space. She looked lonely as she sat there and Debbie could see that even though Lou's eyes were fixed on the untouched margarita, she knew her mind was elsewhere. The neon lights of the club was staining the blonde - green, yellow and red came flashing on her porcelain skin, still Lou didn't move. She just sat there, like a ghost lost into the unknown, too heartbroken to have realized that she had died. Debbie shook her head as she secretly watched her from afar. Damn this woman.

"The audacity of this woman." Debbie muttered to herself, "The audacity to have left me on my fucking desk and now she's also here? God." She rolled her eyes, so pissed as she recalled what had happened just an hour ago, "If she didn't walk out on me, then she wouldn't have to sit there alone. Goodness." She then fished out her phone and decided to call Lou, testing if she would answer.

The blonde was taken back into reality when she heard her phone ringing amidst the loud banging of the club's music. Debbie watched as the blonde ran her fingers through her sleek hair before she fished out her phone and just looked at it. Debbie wanted to take off her heels and throw it at the blonde seeing how Lou just stared at her phone before eventually deciding to turn her phone off. Debbie cussed as the call ended. She did not have any idea what was running through her ex-wife's head; perhaps Lou was ashamed for what she did, afraid getting confronted over kissing her and for almost fucking her, but Debbie did not care about all those. She could feel through her bones that Lou was in love with her still too. And Debbie just wanted to ask, to know - she did not care if Lou would find her annoying again, because her instinct was telling her that Lou was just lying to her. The brunette would swear to death that Lou got jealous over Chad and why would she be jealous if she was no longer in love?

"Fuck you, Miller. Fuck you." Debbie muttered, "You're such an asshole." She added rolling her eyes in frustration before she added, "A pretty asshole. God. I'm deeply in love and the asshole I'm in love with is so hardheaded." She then sighed before she took out a crispy hundred dollar bill and gave it to the bartender, "Take it. Thank you. Thank you."

"But ma'am you didn't even drink your --"

"Just take it. And thank you. Thank you so much." And out Debbie went, running outside of the bar, leaving Lou inside who had no idea that Debbie was there.

-----

"Blaire sleeptalked just a minute ago. She was saying your name."

Lou smiled before she typed a reply, "Gimme back my kid. I miss her already. The house is so lonely already."

"Haha sorry I am taking advantage of Blaire's week off from school. I will be taking the kids to Disneyland tomorrow. I'll bring her back before Friday."

"Okay dokie. Kiss her for me."

"Okay blondie. And oh, she sleeptalks again, at the moment!!!"

"Really? Haha cute. What else is she saying?"

"Ocean. Good lords she's saying Debbie's name."

Lou held her phone reading Tammy's text. Knowing that Debbie's name was also the one Blaire blurted out as she slept was a huge chunk of weight on Lou. She deeply knew Blaire had been too attached to the brunette; and even if Blaire did not ask her to, she knew Blaire wanted Debbie to be her other mom. And all the gods knew Lou would have wanted it too, but time was never in their court. Time was a cruel monster; a lot has happened already and it was too late. A lifetime with Debbie still sounded sweet, but Lou was not up for the consequences that came with it anymore. Or so she thought.