Fat Girl In A Little Coat

Part 51

Lying on my bed, Billy by the window smoking. He hasn't said much since we ended up here. "I don't blame you if you want to leave Billy. Or move on from me. Hell I even would."

The cigarette points at me because of Billy. "Don't ever tell me what to do. That's a you thing. For me.. no fucking way. You deserve all the love that I'm going to give you. I might not say it, or show it all the time. But you Mayflower can have all the love that I give you if you want it." He stabs the cigarette butt in the tray that I made in class one day. Lifting that up. "No one has ever made me one, or even care too." Placing it back down and sitting with me. "You are a person too. I see you." Under the covers with me he smiled. "I don't deserve your trust. No one should ever have too."

"Thanks Billy." My head placed on the wall. "I wouldn't blame you if you just decided one day to go met up with someone."

"Eh, if the time comes that might happen. We can cross the bridge."

"Billy.." I went to my knees as I sat on my bed. "What point are you trying to prove?"

"I have to prove something?"

I shake my head. "No, never with me. That's not what I meant. What I mean is... I might not be ever ready. And it sounds horrible, you too should be happy."

"How many time do I fucking have to tell you? I am HAPPY. I fucking hate going home, going to school. I go to school to get away from my dad and to see you. I stay here because I know that I'm safe with you. Like you are with me." Billy cups my face. "Like I said, we will cross the road when we get there."

I thought about it for awhile. "Billy?"

"Mayflower?" He looks at one of my books that I started to read.

"If none of this happened to me. And if I was your real type. I totally would let your screw me how ever you wanted and never think twice." I looked at him and then stare into the far distance.

"As much as it would be an honor. I would never want to hurt you like that."

"Yeah, but if I was skinny or a mom.." I winked. "I'd totally let you."

"Then you'd be such a whore." He leans to me, our heads touched. "Even if you did want to do it. Mayflower, the first time would be in the dark." He smiled at himself thinking about it. "First I'd made sure, that you are safe, no cameras, no one else around but you and me. Then I would tell you to close your eyes and try your best to enjoy our moment." His thumb touched my cheek as he kept telling me all the right... Fuck. Just let him and don't let.... Oh no... "And your gone.. Mayflower.. I'm nothing like Anthony. Tommy is nothing more than just a guy who I was friends with." Our eyes met. "Hey. It's alright. You know what forget it and let's talk about-" I interrupted him.

"No.. that wasn't fair. I'm sorry. Continue on what you were saying."

Billy hesitated on telling me. But he continues. "And if you freak out, we will find something else to do."

"That wouldn't be fair on my half."

"Stop Mayflower, the hell that you went through isn't worth it. You want to know a secret?" I nod. "As much as sex can be fun... It isn't all what it seems to be. So if a girl or a guy acts like it's better than, ice cream.." he chuckles. "It's really not."

"Why are you being so cool with this?"

"Well I guess Mayflower, I'm cool. I mean who else if going to save you from that killer clown." He points to my bathroom. I looked at he pulls me into his arms. He tickled me until I said uncle. His arms placed across my chest as we both smiled. My hands place on his arms.

I could die happy like this, if this was the last thing on earth that ever happened to me. I'm happy, safe. And starting to fall in love with him even more.

Everything will die one way or another. I just hope that it will last for a little while.