Fat Girl In A Little Coat

Part 33

To be I still think that I was dreaming about Billy coming over last night. When I started to sit up his coat was on top of me. So it wasn't a dream after all cause I know I went back to give this to him. My head hurts, I rubbed it, I was rubbing while I was getting out of bed. Opening my door there was Billy with some food that he had made.

"Morning sleepy head." He enters my bedroom. "Time to take your meds."

Shit I hope Steve didn't see you, he'll kill you himself. "Yeah? Wait is Steve home?"

" 'Thank you Billy for making me breakfast' " He placed the tray down on my lamp table. "He was home for a little while. And before you ask if he saw me. He did. I told him that I was sorry that I caused this and I'm willing to take the blame." I felt his forehead as he laughed. "I know that's what Steve almost did. But he didn't touch me." Handing me some coffee along with me meds.

"Yes thank you Billy. I'm sorry, I should have known better than to ask. I just didn't want a fighting scene in my own home." I took the coffee that was cooled off a little. Placing the meds in my mouth and swallowing it. "Are you sure about all of that?"

"About what, the food or the blame?"

"The blame. Billy you were fighting him to get him off of me or was it because of something else?"

"To be honest Mayflower, both.. I had been drinking along with Tommy. Tommy should have never touched you in the way he did. Along with asking your forgiveness, I don't care how long it takes."

"Wait, wait... That rock hit my head not yours... Am I dreaming, Billy or is this a joke?"

He softly chuckles. "No, you're not dreaming."

"Did I do something to you that's making you change?"

He sat on the bed nodding his head. "When I choked you, I looked at my hands, seeing my fathers hands wrapped around your throat.. That's what he did. I swore up and down in my life, getting married or even getting close, whatever happened, I never wanted to be like him. If a woman gets me mad, sure a fight is one thing.. Laying a hand is another. Steve.. hell I never saw Steve so close to my face before other than to fight. But he spoke to me, that... ugh that I wished he would have bashed my head into the wall for what I had done." He now stares into my eyes. "I wanted to come over and plead my case, in my head I said no, got drunk over and over, my color of my skin was fading like I was sick. So I stopped and yesterday was my first time drinking." He sighed again. "I'm a monster Mayflower. I just know I'm going to end up like him."

I moved next to him. "No, not a monster, a monster is someone that hates you, who wants to ruin you. And you don't hate me. At least I think you don't. If you are sorry then you need to make the change like I said the last time. You are nothing like your dad Billy. You are on the spot like your brand is. Changing brand isn't bad, it will suck at first. But it isn't bad. What I am getting tired of is being so damn cold all the fucking time and you being sorry." I looked at the food. "I hope you can cook better than what Steve does, he always burns my eggs. Which I hate."

"I didn't know that." He seemed to be calm about what I had said, but he's always been like that. I don't care about him being a bad ass, but being a bad ass doesn't mean that you have to be a bully or become like your father. You can still be a shitty person without doing all of those things. Placing his jean coat around my shoulders. "When and when you do forgive me, I want a full start over."

I tried his eggs that he had made for us. "Not bad."

"Really? Don't lie to me."

"Really."

His hair covered his face as he ate, he's just a boy who is scared, he doesn't really know any better than what his father does to him. He should know from right and wrong, it looks like he does but not fully. If I do forgive him what will really happen? Will he go back to Tommy and Kelsey or will he find newer people. Fall in love with another girl who will never be me. "Billy, I will try, I hope you know."

"Thank you. That's all I can ever ask for."