Fat Girl In A Little Coat

Part 56

After dinner we went back to the hotel. "Are you sure about this Billy? I wouldn't blame you if you changed your mind."

"I want to be with you. If you don't want me too I will do my best to understand."

If I did leave without him. It's like his mom leaving him all over again. Even though I'm nothing like her and he doesn't see me as her. I sat on the bed. "I want you to come. What about college and getting a degree that you want to do in your life. If you came-" Stoping with a finger on my lip.

"I can't change your mind on coming home with me. I'll sacrifice to be with you."

Moving his finger away as he also sat on the bed. "Billy that isn't fair. When I find a place, I'll write letters and come visit you."

Shaking his head. "That wouldn't be enough. We need each other. Rather we like it or not."

"What if we don't work out? And you go back to your old self."

"If that happens, push me out. You don't deserve to be treated like that ever again. I can't promise that I'll be the perfect guy you need. I can promise to love you and take care of you. If you let me."

"I don't want you make a mistake."

"This is my life Tory. There are night school that I can take and finish. You won't win if you want me to come with you."

"I know it is Billy that's why... I want you to come with me. But I also don't want you to regret if you did. It would kill me in the end if you did."

His head touched mine. "See we want to be with each other and all this is doing going in circles were I can be holding you. Or whatever." He smiled. "I can't say that I promise I wouldn't regret it in the end, what I can promise that I would have regret not going with you. Monsters still come and go. Even though you might not need me but I sure do need you."

"Okay. I do want you with me." I sighed once more with a smile on my face. "If we ran in the morning... You are sure you have evet that you need."

"Maybe not everything. I won't leave you." He lies on the bed. "We can go back just to pick up a few things of mine. I can sell somewhat for gas and hotel."

"Billy don't do that."

"Don't do what?"

"Sell. Pipi always said. 'if there is a will there is a way.' I kinda wanted to go to California."

The made him a little more happy. "Yeah? You want to go there?"

"I do. I hear that their water is blue just like the sky and they have the best pizza."

He chuckled. "The water is wonderful I could spend out there for days."

I lied next to him. "Tell me about it."

I think about the fifth thing Billy was talking about we both ended up sleeping. I woke up around one am. It was normal. I smiled as Billy was curled up with the pillow. His hair covered up his face. I kissed his cheek as I went outside.

Taking a deep breath in and letting it out, I started to talk to the moon. Like it was my mother.

"This is a goodbye for awhile. I hope that you understand that I'm leaving. Knowing that you wouldn't want me to stick around after what all has happened. Hell I think you'd asked me to take you if I could. Dad would tell me that it was my fault that I had caused your death. I guess in away it was.i never got to know if you really wanted me. Leaving you behind sucks. Few weeks ago, I got a letter from him saying that he needed me to testify on his behalf saying that he is insane and needs to get help. It was hard... All the memories that man put me through came back.. then I really thought to myself.. he might need it... And if he did get it, would I had seen my true dad." Shaking me head as I feel ashamed. "I never got to know the real man. Pushing people away was the only way I thought it was to go. I made friends... Me mama... Friends. Billy... He's broken too. We can both heal with each other. He's a nice guy once you get to know the real him. I'd like to think you'd like him too." Pushing the tears away. I'm sorry mama that I have to leave you. I promised I wouldn't. I think I will have to break that promise. Forgive me." I hugged myself.