Fat Girl In A Little Coat

Part 39

The rain did stop and night time came so quickly that Billy drove around town with all the windows down. He told me that one of the reasons why he's been acting really weird was that he tried to stop smoking. It didn't last very long. He wanted to give it a shot.

Taking out his second to last cigarette he lights at the stop light. I could barley stay awake. Which he didn't care. He gave me jean jacket that I had washed and gave it back to his step sister. I would never tell you if Billy got sick or not, he shut me out.

Trying my best to keep my eyes open. "When your dad and Susan started to date or whatever, did you somewhat like Max?"

"I thought she was overly annoying and so clingy. But now she's a teenage bitch."

"What if your dad did the same then like my dad did to me?"

"Mayflower, as much as she is a dumb bitch and a life ruiner, my dad wouldn't touch her."

"Let's say he did... You'd do anything to protect her right?"

"I'd try my best." Blowing out the smoke in the window. "My dad is too dumb for that shit. If he did something like that he'd find a way to turn himself in without even knowing." He went as the light turns green. I nod my head. "Mayflower I mean it. He might be abusive asshole.. Susan wouldn't let him touch her in that type of way." He was a little mean about it and hurt that I asked or even implied it. I mean I don't see his dad doing that ..But I want to know what's he like being protective he can be. It's not important to know but I do wonder.

"Sorry I shouldn't had said anything. That was dumb of me to say." Ugh why even fucking say it. Now I'm the dumbass.

"Don't worry about it."

I didn't worry about too much, just driving around until I passed out. The coat was over my arms, I looked the last time it was over my lap. He sweet when he wants to be I guess. Leaning outside of his car as he smoked looking at the stars that we somewhat had here. I got out as I stood by him. "It's nice out."

That must of scared him. He jumped a bit as he threw the cigarette out. "Jesus!"

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you."

He stomps it out. "No. It's fine. This is my third pack of the day. I should try to stop."

"I hope your not stopping on my account."

"Well, yes and no.No because I have been stress out lately and yes, because I don't want Steve to call me and say that you died because of the things you are allergic to. I'd be my fault."

"I wouldn't worry about that Billy."

"I know you are okay talking about dying. But it scares me Mayflower." Looking at me he held my hand. "I don't want to carry you to your grave."

That's sweet, but that's not going to happen. "And that too you won't have to worry about Billy. I'm going to be cremated. Believe me my body has been poked to many times, that it just needs a rest." I kinda lean against the car. "I'm sorry that I talk about death to much. I guess that's my freedom from this place." I gave his hand a squeeze before letting go. "I get it, I should be talking about more things then death itself. I guess too that is my comfy place to talk bout that I don't realize that I'm doing it to much."

"And see it shouldn't be. Our life should be out doing dumb teenage shit instead of worry about if we are going to make it out alive." He kicked a rock with his right foot as he sighed. "Your Pipi is okay with that?"

"Yes." I nod my head. "I don't want anyone else seeing what they did to me."

"See, this is what I want to do right now." He pointed to the stars. "Out there surfing. Here we are, two so broken people enjoying each others company. And I like that. When I shouldn't."

"Why shouldn't you care about doing what you love?"

"Not that. I enjoy spending time with you. And I hate not knowing why so I can understand it."

"Then why did you ignore me?"

"This is going to sound horrible." He turns to face me. "I wanted to move on from you on whatever was pulling me towards you. In the end... In the end I couldn't do it."

"Am I that broken?" I was a little hurt. He could tell.

So he got fussrated with himself. "No, no.. that came out highly wrong.. I meant to say was. I wanted to do all the things that a dumb and I mean so dumb things that teenagers wanted to do. Go to a parking lot and drunk, or find a random hotel so show you some real fun. So you what a man wants from his girl, but in a gentle and a little rough way." Shaking his head. "But I freaked myself out... Because I got worried that if we did any of those things that somehow something that we did will remind you of them. Like if I wanted to make love to you. I don't want you to think I'm one of them... I couldn't do that to you or myself."

Confusing all of this to me... Heartbreaking, sweet in his own little way. "I wish you could had told me. We could had figured something out Billy. I'm not like Kelsey or any of the other girls. I don't have the confidence. That is sweet to think of."

"I just don't let any other girls have my jacket like you do. So that has to mean something right?" I nod my head. "Let's get you back home."