This Time We'll Never End

Chapter 18

Tumayo siya at hinarap ako, blocking my view of my friends. Loud gasps were heard when he suddenly kneel down in front of me, like he's begging for something. Nagulat ako at kinabahan sa ginawa n'ya. Ni hindi ko namalayan na nagpipigil na pala ako ng hininga habang hinihintay ang mga susunod niyang gagawin o sasabihin. Kay lakas ng kalabog ng dibdib ko habang sinasalubong ang mapupungay niyang mga mata.

"Conrad..." I held his hand to stop him but he still did. I wanted him to stand up pero sa tigas ng braso niya ay 'di man lang siya gumalaw nang subukan kong hilahin pataas.

Wala siyang kasalanan sa akin kaya bakit siya luluhod? Kung bakit iyon ang una kong naisip ay dahil sa paghingi niya ng tawad kanina. He also has said he's gonna take care of us, but I don't think it is the reason why he's doing this. He clearly wants us to take it slow. Probably because of my situation. At sa nakikita ko sa mga mata niya; the sadness, longingness and love... told me he's indeed doing this because of my first hunch.

I held his gorgeous face and wiped the tears on the corners of his eyes. He closed it, feeling my every touch.

Oh, how I wish I could tell him enough that he doesn't need to do this...

He held my hands and looked at me with his bloodshot and soulful eyes, "Amorah... alam kong kulang ang mga salita para iparating sa'yo kung gaano ako nagsisisi sa lahat ng nangyari sa atin sa nagdaang taon. I could never apologize enough. I will never stop apologizing for everything.
Noong nawala ka, lagi kong tinatanong kung bakit pa ko humihinga... when you're the only reason why I want to fight for this hopeless life. At nu'ng makita kitang muli, I was so happy, I could die. I couldn't stop myself from wanting to hold you again and make sure na hinding-hindi ka na makakalayo sa akin.
I was so selfish that night that I want all of you for myself... Kahit alam kong maaaring humantong sa ganito... I apologize for being so greedy and crazy when it comes to loving you. And I apologize for what it entails... but I want you to know, I will never regret falling so deeply in love with you over and over again... And to our yet to be born babies. Our family.
I know I don't deserve this... I don't deserve you at all... But please, give me one last chance, using my whole life, to prove how much I love you and what I can do to protect the love we have.
Please, hayaan mo akong mahalin ka at ligawan ka hanggang sa pagtanda natin. Hayaan mo akong bumawi sa mga pagkukulang ko sa'yo, Amorah.
I only have one life to live and I'm gonna use it to love and protect you. Always. I'll never let us part again. Mamamatay muna ako bago kita masaktan, Amorah," his voice broke and trembled as his suppressed tears flowed like river.

Tears started rolling down my cheeks, too. I gasped, taking everything he said, sa kabila ng paninikip ng dibdib sa narinig. Lahat ng mga binitawan niyang salita, tumagos at nagmarka sa puso ko. I felt extremely happy, my heart bled for it, like everything I want in life is just in front of me, abot na abot ko na. Sa katauhan niya.

I stared at his worried and loving eyes. I guided him to stand up again, and he did. Pagkakita niya sa gusto kong gawin, tumayo agad siya at nag-aalala akong dinungaw. He reached for my face and gently brushed the tears away. S'ya naman ngayon ang nag-aalalang nakatingin sa akin na parang hindi alam ang gagawin.

"I... I'm sorry. I know it's still early. Hindi kita minamadali-"

"Aakyat ka ng ligaw? Kailan?" hindi ko na s'ya pinatapos. Pasasaan pa at gustong-gusto ko rin naman siya? Noon, at magpahanggang ngayon.

I fell in love with this man twice this life, at hindi ko alam kung may hangganan ba ang pagmamahal na ito, but for him... I know it will last. If it's him, I know this is a lifetime kind of love.

He blinked, like he couldn't believe I just asked that. He slowly nodded in response, naninimbang at kinakabahan.

"I am courting you now."