This Time We'll Never End

Conrad's POV Part 2

3 years has passed.

3 years lifeless and aimless...

Nakilala ko si Andrei nang minsan akong niligtas nito sa sarili kong mga kamay. He frequents the club with some friends of his pero hindi niya kasama sa iisang sulok o kwarto kaya niyayaya ako. Hindi ko rin kailanman nakita ang mga kasama niya.

Then, in one of my darkest nights, where the strong pull of desperation to end this life had resurfaced on my system again, I saw her. My Amorah Andrea Mateo.

We made love. Though, I know she's drugged at that time, her responses to my touch were so genuine, I felt it. The sweetest and the most satisfying night I've ever had in my entire life. Hindi ko siya tinigilan hanggang sa wala na akong lakas para bumayo pa, at hanggang hindi rin siya napapagod sa ilalim o sa ibabaw ko. I missed her. So much than I could ever utter. I was too happy to finally reunite with her.

Anuman ang dahilan at ngayon lang siya nagpakita ay palalampasin ko. She is all that matters to me, her, lying beside me, right now... is everything I needed in this life.

But...

She's gone different the moment she woke up. It broke me into pieces. She called me "Sir" like I'm some stranger. But what hurts me the most was not her, calling me that, or her, lying to escape from me... It was the feeling of her, being so distant and cold, like we never happened... O baka pinili niyang kalimutan ako dahil sa nagawa ko noon? It was my fault, but I'm willing to do anything just to win her back. But then...

"I don't know if this is how you normally do that 'one night stand' thing, but let's end it here. Good bye, Mister stranger..." she said.

I swear my heart dropped and left my body after that. Sobrang sakit, hindi ako halos makahinga.

"I don't do that," I said, trying to stop her from walking away.

Pakiramdam ko, kasama niyang lilisan ang pag-asang naghari sa puso ko nang makita siyang muli... Ang pag-asang... hindi na kami mawawalay sa isa't-isa sa pagkakataong ito, at matutuloy na ang mga naudlot naming mga pangako at plano.

Baka iniisip niyang may ipinalit ako sa kanya kaya ganun ang reaksyon niya. It's been 3 years, kaya baka ganoon nga.

"I really just want you... Please stay... Please," I begged. Her eyes showed concern pero ang kinang na nakita ko roon noon ay wala na...

Abot kamay ko lang siya pero parang ang layo pa rin niya. Natatakot akong baka pag tuluyan siyang umalis ay hindi na siya kailanman babalik sa akin. Ayaw ko no'n, paano na ako? Masyado ko siyang mahal. I don't want to let her go... But if forcing her to stay will only make her hate me more, kaya kong magsakripisyo. Hihintayin ko siya... Susuyuin ko na lamang siya hanggang sa mahalin niya akong muli.

I used my connections for the first time. Though, I hated the thought that it's from the company's pocket- the wage given to me, pinaghirapan ko rin naman ang perang ginamit kaya nilubos ko na.

Sa eskwelahan kung saan niya sinabi sa akin noon na roon siya mag-aaral siya pumapasok. Business administration... First year. Napangiti ako. Same field.

Naalala kong gustong-gusto niyang pag-aralan at patakbuhin balang araw ang negosyo ng kanilang pamilya. I know she can do it. She's very intelligent and passionate about it, kaya alam kong malayo ang mararating niya.

I contacted someone I knew from that school and told them of my intention. Tamang-tama at may kareretiro lang na propesor. And like it was the heaven's go signal for me, it was her adviser.

Of course, she's not Amorah if she's not a snob and seemed always on guard. Pero ewan at bakit parang... may nag-iba sa kanya?

Hindi ko na pinatagal at agad ko siyang dinala sa private faculty ko upang mahanap ang mga sagot sa tanong pero sa kasawiang palad...