duration of love

young and dumb

-JADEN-

"jaden you just go with wanna to the resort house, we'll call you if anything changes."

i didnt want to leave the hostpital for nothing

not until i knew y/n was ok and alive.

its been 2 hours since ive been basically realesed from the hostpital. but i couldnt leave the hostpital without y/n. 

everyone kept trying to convince me to go back to the house and rest 

i kept saying no.

if i left y/n alone i wouldnt be able to live.

i lost her once and i cant lose her again.

i sat down in the waiting room area, it seemed like a private waiting area because we had a glass door sepearating all of us.

wanna went home with jayla my dad and mom,

i stayed with alex, sydeny, and luis. 

the whole room was silent. sydney wouldnt stop crying, no matter how many times we tried comforting her.

my leg wouldnt stop shaking

my fingers fidgetting with eachother trying to find a peace and calm postion but the anxiety in me made it worse.

i was lost in my train of thoughts.

"if i knew it all then, would i do it again? would i do it again?"

i know y/n wouldnt hurt a fly, shes nice and respectful, unless you piss her off badly. 

i zoned out comepletly just thinking abt her death, what would happen after. 

i didnt want to lose her, nor relive the moment when i lose her. 

i kept fidegitng and my leg wouldnt stop as worriness, sadness and rage filled my body. 

stupid henry. 

i knew i was gonna burst in anger. i knew it.

"ill be back" 

i left alex and luis hugging sydney as i went to a private bathroom.

i did it.... i broke down.

i was soo fucking angrry and pissed at henry.

i started punching the wall.

"STUPID"

1 punch

"FCUKING"

2 punches

"HENRY!"

i yelled as i pulled my arm back and swung full force into the wall causing a little whole but i didnt care.

hot tears were coming down my cheeks as my anger turned into hot fire tears.

i stayed in place as i broke down and myhand still in place where the whole was.

i slid down to the floor my back facing the wall as i removed my hand and broke complety down as all the anger left me and all that was in me was just pure sadness. 

i shouldve known.

if i wasnt so fucking weak i couldve stopped henry the first time. 

i hated this.

i hated how y/n was hurt

i hated how henry hurt her

i hated that i was weak

but most importantly 

 i hated how easily my anger turned into sadness.

i clenched my fist as hard as i could as my nails dug into my skin causing more pain,