addeleworth [Scarian Royalty AU]

Chapter 7

TW! Suicidal thoughts and self-harm. ( kinda )

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{Day 2}

Grian first time in years felt safe, he wasn't sure why. Avian opened his eyes a bit and saw someone's chest and only then he felt a hand on his head and waist while his hands were wrapped around Scar's waist. Should I go? But if I move he'll wake up and it will be awkward and it's so comfy... I don't want to embarrass him. But if I stay he'll be uncomfortable. I'll stay. Just for a bit more. He didn't feel his eyes closing again and him drifting to sleep.

After 10 minutes Grian felt someone touching his hair. "Ugh..." As soon as Scar felt Grian waking up he removed his hand from avian's hair. He opened his eyes a bit and looked up. "Why hello there sleepy head. How did you sleep?"  Grian lowered his head. "10 more minutes..." Avian was ready to go back to his dream. "Come on sleepy head. It's time to wake up." Grian shook his head and hugged Scar as strong as he can. "Nah uh." Scar knew that avian wouldn't let him go so he just sighed. Grian blindly grabbed the elf's hand and put it on his head and Scar heard a muffled "play." so he did as he was asked, playing with Grian's hair till he woke up.

Half an hour passed and avian finally opened his eyes. And the realization hit him. He quickly sat up and moved to the side. "I'm so sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I don't know what was I thinking, I was so sleepy, I was completely out of it, I'm so sorry." Everything happened so fast Scar was lost and only after Grian stopped apologizing he understood what was happening. "No, no, no! It's okay! I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I didn't mean to but you looked very peaceful and I didn't want to move you. And I know that sleep is very important to avians." Grian wasn't too fond of the word - avian. It reminded him, that he's just an animal. "Thank you. Maybe I should go now." Grian stood up and walked towards the door. "Um... see you at breakfast." With that, he closed the door. 

"Goodbye..." Scar was scared of what Grian is thinking and angry at himself for letting his emotions take control. He hates me. I should've moved him. He looked so uncomfortable when he woke up. Scar sat up and put his head in his hands. I messed up. I messed up badly. 

Just like every morning, he heard a knock. "Come in." Mumbo opened the door and stepped in, not forgetting to close the door behind him. "Good morning Scar. Are you okay? You sound a bit under the weather." Scar looked up. "Do you ever get this feeling in your stomach like... you're going down a hill fast?" Mumbo sat in corner of the elf's bed. "Could you tell me more about this feeling?" "It's like those little... um... with wings..."Butterflies?" Scar nodded. "And this feeling gives you adrenaline, makes you feel like you're on top of the world but also it makes you feel so shy and nervous." Mumbo smiled. "That feeling... That's love mate." 

Scar was at loss for words. No... It can't be love. "So why do you ask to about love all of the sudden?" "It's platonic love, right? Right?" Scar ignored Mumbo's question. Maybe he simply didn't hear it. "Nothing platonic in that kind of love." "How do you know?" "That's how I feel around my boyfriend. But why do you ask?" Scar was on the verge of tears, and those tears weren't happy ones. "I- I might have fallen for the prince."

Scar was afraid of falling in love. He was scared to lose Grian. He was scared of avian not loving him back. How could anyone love you? Just look at yourself - full of those disgusting scars... Prince didn't even realize he was crying until he felt Mumbo hugging him. Yeah yeah. Cry like you always do. You're pathetic. You should just end it all. Nobody likes you either way. Scar hugged Mumbo and tried to silence voices but they were as loud as they ever were. But the first time he heard another voice. It wasn't mean like all the others. It was nice and soft. Don't do it. So many people love you. Just give yourself time, maybe Grian will love you back.

Grian closed the door and walked towards his room, he felt his heart racing. Damn it, prince. You did it again. You once again made me fall for you. You're so weak. All he did was comfort you and now you're 'in love. Pathetic. You're so starved for love. As if the king and queen don't give you enough. Such an animal shouldn't get love at all. You should be disgusted in yourself, I bet prince Scar is. 

Grian reached his room and rapidly went in. Just one. It'll make me feel better. But my streak... Do it! Do it! DO IT! Let the blood lose! You want it. I know you do. Do it. Do it or I'll make you do much worse things. You don't want it repeating, do you? Grian franticly searched for razors and he found five. He took one of them. It's for your safety prince.

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Hallo! How are you? Thank you everyone for your support! It means so much! Love all of ya!

-Ollie :]