Stranger (Eddie Munson)

pt:29 Lovely Dirty Thoughts

Heyyyy, i'm starting to get very angry with how the story is progressing. Don't get me wrong, I have everything planned out. However, it seems like a bunch if random stuff is happening... I think it's making it boring. The story is close to it's end (believe it or not) so once i'm done, I will edit the story... thanks for reading guys!
__________________________
It was 3 in the morning. You stood on the balcony wrapped in one of Eddie's hoodies, fingers clamped around a cigarette. You were so deep in thought you forgot about smoking, the ash just falling. When you eventually remembered to take a drag, your hands shook as you brought it to your lips. Eddie won't let you smoke anymore, a part of you wanted him to wake up though. Anxiety flowed rapidly through your body, at top speed. You look over your shoulder to see Eddie sprawled out on the bed. Snoring soundly. You needed him so badly. You found it selfish, so you didn't bother waking him. Thoughts invaded your head, you hated them, but in your state you gave in. Allowing them to eat away at your sanity, leaving you in tears. You let the feeling take over, you felt too weak to fight back this time. The pressure just continued, like your head was about to explode. It left you sobbing, your hand covering your mouth in an attempt to conceal your cries.

You could admit, it felt good to let it all out, but once you released it another feeling arose. Worry. Worry that Eddie would wake up and see you in this state. You knew it hurt him to see it. You did not want to hurt him any more. It was a little too late though. Your head was pounding, so you didn't hear the soft footsteps coming towards you. You only noticed when you felt a strong pair of arms wrap around you. Fighting back tears as he spun you around and pulled you closer to his chest. His fingers running through your hair in an attempt to soothe you. "Let it out, sweetheart, let it all out." he said softly. You cried into his chest. He takes the cigarette from your hand and put it out. Eddie picks you up and sits you on the bed. You hug his hellfire shirt. You wanted to scream. "It's alright, sweetheart," he cradles you in his arms.

It's really not that big of a deal. Jason is just a dick. Your mom is just a bitch. Your dad had it coming. That's not fair. Why you? "I don't want to live like this!" you shout. Why can't you just leave? "I don't want you to either," he says rubbing your back. "Then let me go!" you covered your mouth after you said it, instantly regretting it. He takes a deep breath, "am I selfish?" He asks after a moment. Your breathing slows, "no, Eddie, you're not." "Am I selfish for wanting you to live?" "Eddie, I-" you stutter. "Does it make me selfish for wanting you to live a long, happy life?!" he shouts, "I just want to watch you grow up." He looks down. "That's too much for you," he fiddles with his fingers. "I'm-" he won't let you finish any of your sentences. "Don't say sorry," he knew. "I hate seeing you like this!" you cry. "You're one to talk," he mutters. You don't say anything for a moment. Eddie is scared that he hurt you, "I-I'm sorry, Ellie. I don't mean what I say." There was nothing to say. "Ellie?" he asks, finally looking at you. "Yes?" you respond. "Are you okay?" he asks. "Don't ask questions you already know the answer to," you say coldly. His eyes were deep. Brown is an ugly color. Dark and filled with pain. But Eddie. Eddie makes brown beautiful. You could stare in his eyes for hours and never get bored. His lips trembled slightly. He looked frightened, but there was no explanation as to why. "Can you smile?" you ask, and it caught him off guard. "What?" he asks. "Can you smile?" you repeat your question. He smiles lightly, "come on, Eddie, you can do better than that." You chuckle under your breath. He smiles, and finally, his dimples show. You put your fingers on them. "This is what makes me happy," you push your fingers into them, "your dimples suit you." He smiles for real this time. You kiss him slowly. He lays back, making you fall on top of him. He smelled heavily of smoke, and tasted like it, too. He was warm, like a heater compared to your icy skin. He didn't have his rings on, so his hands were warm on your skin. You pulled away, panting. "I love you, Ellie." He says while staring into your eyes. His eyebrows were relaxed. You could hardly keep your eyes open. Eddie noticed and pushed your head down you could sleep. "I love you, too." You say, closing your eyes.