Stranger (Eddie Munson)

pt:47 Five Stages of Grief

(Eddie)

I won't sugar-coat it. I want to die. I want it to be fast. Mere painless. I talked to Dustin right before the phone call with Ellie. He told me I was experiencing the five stages of grief. He wanted me to acknowledge that.

Denial. The second I realized she was gone I denied it and myself. For the first few days I would knock on her door only to be greeted with silence.

Anger. God, I was so mad. I am still mad. Whoever the fuck took her won't even look like a human the second I touch them. If I touch them.

Bargaining. This hurt me the most. "I swear, if I could just get her back, I'll never smoke again." "If I could spend just one more day with her..."

Depression. I have been laying in bed for the past 4 days. I haven't eaten. I haven't slept. If I don't end it now, I will never leave this stage.

Acceptance. When I die, I won't have to accept it.

But there's so much more than just 5. Where's the guilt? Where's the revenge?

I put my finger on the trigger. I'm ready. I'm done being here.

3...
2...

"Eddie?" I hear a faint girl voice. I gulp. I slowly spin around to see who was waiting in my doorway. It's Max. My heart drops. "Leave me alone." I say coldly. "Eddie don't do this." Max begs, her voice breaking. I squeeze my eyes. "She's dead!" I yell.

I haven't confessed this to anyone yet. I wrote it down.

"Eddie no, I promise you she's not." "Don't bullshit me, Max. I heard him shoot her." She pauses, "what? Who's he?" My arm relaxes, the gun no longer stiffly pressed to my temple. "He let her call me last night. That was the last time I will ever hear her voice because he shot her and hung up!" I'm shouting at her like it's her fault. "No, that's impossible." "The first stage of grief is denial." I repeat what Dustin told me. "No actually, it's impos-" "She's dead, Max." I lift my arm up. "Give me the gun, Eddie." She realizes what's about to happen. "No." "Eddie give me an hour. Then you can do whatever you want." I can hear her sniffling and I can tell she's holding back tears. "Max please don't do this." I start to cry. "Eddie," she takes a step closer, "I just got a call from Hawkins Police Department." "Max, she's dead." I repeat, but my voice breaks. "No, Eddie." She steps even closer. I feel my face melt and I squeeze my eyes shut. I feel Max grab the hand that has the gun pressed to my head, she lightly takes it from my hand and sets it on my bed. I'm still as a statue.

"Oh, Eddie." Max opens her arms and I fall into them. I never thought I'd be crying in Max's arms, but here we are.

When we arrive at the hospital, I learn that Ellie is indeed alive and in the hospital. "She's currently in surgery, it will probably be another 2 hours." The receptionist told Max and I. I let out a sigh of relief. "But only family will be able to visit her." "I am her stepsister," Max blurted out. "You may visit her, then." "I am her boyfriend, me and her are the closest things she has to family. Please let me come." The old woman clicked her tongue, "ah yes since you are the husband, I can let you in when she's out of surgery." "Thank you so much ma'am!" I whisper to her. We are then seated in the waiting area.

Max couldn't help but use the phone to call the entire Demogang, including Eleven and Will. Most everyone was free except Robin and Steve, who were both at work. Steve let Robin go off and he would cover for her until the store closed in three hours. I was glad Robin was going to be there because I knew Ellie would need her when she woke up.

The thing that scares me the most is that she might have amnesia. I know the chances are slim to none. But to go through all of this only for her to forget all of it...

Max did all the talking. She asked the doctors how she was doing. It was up and down constantly. She asked the woman who apparently brought her in about how and where she found her. How do I know she wasn't the one that kidnapped her? Apparently, the woman was so concerned about Ellie's health that she wanted to know if she came out alright. I haven't spoken since I talked to the receptionist.

Then, Dustin arrived. "Eddie are you okay?" I didn't look at him. I stare at the floor. I am trapped in a trance. All I can do is think. And breath and blink. I can hear Max telling him about our phone call and what she saw when she walked into my room. I can feel my eyes watering and I want to bring my hands to cover my face. I can feel Dustin breaking down. I want to hug him and tell him I'm sorry, but I can't. "I don't know what's wrong with him." Max says to Dustin. "He's shaking," Dustin states. Really? I can't tell. Dustin sits next to me and grabs my hand. "I should have been there." No. Don't blame this on yourself. "Maybe I could've stopped the idea from even forming." Stop, Dustin. I feel my eyes close. The noise and conversation don't end. I wish I could just fall asleep.

About an hour later, my eyes finally open. They blink slowly at first, getting more rapid until I am fully conscious. I finally am in control of my body. I move my hand in front of my face. Dustin looks at me like I just woke up from a coma. Ellie should be out of surgery soon if all is going well.

"Eddie, can I talk to you?" Dustin asks. I nod and he takes me into a hallway. Robin gives us an odd look. "Are you okay?" "Yep." "Eddie." "I'm fine." I see Max get up and talk to a doctor. Not a nurse but a doctor. She gets a reassuring nod from him, and I know it's my cue to leave. "I'm sorry Dustin I have to go." I speed walk into the waiting room area and stand next to Max. "Then husband and stepsister may enter the room." Max and I follow the doctor into a small room where a massive hospital bed with a person hooked up with IV's and stuff.

The person I see is not Ellie. She's beat up and looks like she might have broken every bone in her body. Max gasps, while covering her mouth. I turn to the doctor, "this is Ellie Quinn?" "Yes, she was suffering from internal bleeding. Now the nurses didn't quite fill in the information on her, do you mind doing it?" I grab the piece of paper. "I need to take a breather Max, do you mind?" Max nods and I leave as fast as I can.

She's alive. She looks like she's been jumped by 16 guys but she's alive. Looking at her makes me sick to my stomach. I feel dizzy and I need some air. Just need some...air.

I'm in the waiting room again. Everyone stands up, waiting for me to tell them something, but I literally can't breathe. I put my hand to my chest as I feel it heaving.

Ground yourself, Eddie. I look at everything around me. The colors. The sounds. The smells. What I taste. I close my eyes.

Dustin's hand is in mine. The other one on my chest grabs his other one. "She looks awful, Dustin. She has bruises everywhere and most of her face is black and sort of swelled. I don't recognize her Dustin!" I want to scream. At the world. Dustin doesn't say anything. He just pats my shoulder before giving me a hug.

"You should be there when she wakes up." Is all he says. He's right.

I storm back into the room as I fill in her paperwork. Max is sitting next to her bed whispering to her. I end up falling asleep in the chair in there.