𝚂𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚖𝚝𝚎? // 𝙵𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚡 𝚇 𝟿𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛

20!

On our way back to the dorms, I stopped at a supermarket to get some flowers to say sorry to twice.

When we arrived at the dorms the others went up while I walked to twice's door. I knocked with the bouquet in hand, and waited until Mina opened the door. I bowed and she let me in. "What's up Kai?" She asked as she closed the door. "I wanted to say sorry for the other night." I said, handing her the bouquet. "It's ok, we didn't mind. Thanks though, these are beautiful. But I have a question." "Ask away." "Are you and felix together? Like I heard him call you baby a couple times, and I was just wondering." She pulled a vase out of the cupboard and filled it up with water. "He called me baby?" "Yeah. He kept saying 'it's ok baby' and stuff like that." "Well we're soulmates- so yeah." I showed her the mark, it was the only tattoo I hadn't covered. There was no way I would ever cover it while I had the choice. "Aww! You guys would be so cute together! Do you want a cookie?" She held a tin in front of me. "No thanks, I better get going. Felix said he wanted to talk." "Ok, we'll I'll see you around. Bye Kai, and thanks for the flowers!"

I said goodbye and went up to the stray kids dorm. I scanned my card and entered the dorm. I went to find Felix in our room, so we could talk. "Hey Felix." I said, closing the door. "Hey Kai." He patted the bed next to him and I sat down. "What did you want to talk about?" "Kai you don't have to use my full name. Felix sounds too formal, considering that we're boyfriends." He said. That's not what I thought. I was expecting a 'you're to clingy' or 'I just said yes because we were in front of the others', but he didn't say that at all. "That's all?" I asked him, just to make sure. "No. The other thing is that I really really want to kiss you. Like a lot. Like you just look really kissable and I want to kiss you more than I ever have and-" "kiss me then." I said cutting him off.

Then he did. His kissed me harder than he'd ever kissed me before, pushing his tongue into my mouth. Our tongues battled for dominance, and his won. He pushed me back onto the bed, his body pressing against mine as he dominated the kiss. I could feel myself getting hard, but on the other hand, I wasn't ready.

As we came up for breath, we looked into each other's eyes. I wanted to keep going, but I couldn't. "I-I'm not ready." I stuttered out quietly. Felix nodded and rolled off me. I was too embarrassed to even face him. I ran to the bathroom and locked the door. I sat on the toilet and sobbed into my knees. "Kai what's wrong?" It was Felix. He probably thought I was a wimp. "Kai? Can you unlock the door?"

I didn't say anything, I just sat there. I was embarrassed beyond what I thought was possible. Eventually he left me alone. What was I supposed to do when I was half hard, but not ready to have sex with my boyfriend? Usually I would just jerk off, no biggie right? But this time I couldn't, because I knew the walls weren't soundproof, and Felix was probably in the bedroom waiting for me to come out. If he heard me, he would probably feel like it was something that he did, not me.

So I sat there, googling 'how to get rid of a boner silently?' Literally nothing  came up, other than a few quora posts asking the same thing with no comments. I put my phone down and just sat there, trying to wait it out. It wasn't like I was going to leave the bathroom anytime soon anyways.

Half an hour had passed and it was starting to work, but only slightly. I needed the stimulation and my problem wasn't going to go away without it. I thought for a while and eventually decided to take a shower, and hope the sound of the water was loud enough to cover it.

I undressed, leaving my clothes in a pile and stepping into the shower. I started slowly touching myself. I hadn't done this since I first moved to Korea and if felt great. I slowly started to speed up, then started to stretch myself out with my fingers. Soon enough, I let out a moan and came. I let myself catch my breath for a moment before grabbing my soap and washing myself. I washed my hair and then got out of the shower.

That's when I realised my problem. I d don't have clothes. I wasn't h us t going to dig through the dirty clothes and pull out ones I'd already warn, thats disgusting. But as if on cue, Felix knocked on the door. "There are clothes at the door for you. Please come out."

I stood up, unlocked the door and opened it just enough to pull my clothes in then lock it again. As I unfolded the clothes to see what he got me, a note fell onto the ground. I opened it an read it.

I'm sorry Kai.

I'm sorry that I assumed that you where ready when I shouldn't have and I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable. If you're worried that I'll think you're weak or something, I don't. I understand it, and I'm not going to judge you for it.

I love you Kai. Yeah, I said love. So come out here and hug me, because even if it's only been an hour and a half I miss you, and I really want to cuddle you.

Your boyfriend, if you still want me to be

I got dressed as quick as I could and burst through the door. Felix was sitting on his bed, crying. I ran up to him and pulled him into a hug. "I love you too." I said, starting to sob again. I hooked my legs around his waist and sobbed into his shoulder. "I'm sorry Lixxie."

"Guys it's- never mind." I could hear that it was Jeongin. He walked away and closed the door, leaving me and felix to ourselves.

"I really love you felix."