𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 | s. lopez

Theatricality

"Guys, we have a serious problem," said Rachel as she and Juniper rushed into the choir room. "Juni and I have been doing some background on Vocal Adrenaline."

"Isn't that against the rules?" asked Artie.

"No," said Juniper. "Well, probably."

"Anyway, we rooted the dumpsters behind the Carmel High Auditorium and found 18 empty boxes of Christmas lights," said Rachel.

"Oh, no," said Tina.

"Which led us to Joelle Fabrics," said Juniper. "I asked them about red Chantilly lace, and they were sold out!"

"Oh, sweet Jesus," said Mercedes.

"Oh, my," said Kurt.

"What?" asked Mr. Schue, confused.

"They're doing Gaga," said Kurt with a worried look on his face.

"That's it. It's over," said Mercedes.

"Exactly!" exclaimed Rachel.

"We should have guessed it. They're doing theatricality," said Kurt. "They know it's the easiest way to beat us. Damn them."

"What's up with this Gaga dude?" asked Puck. "He dresses weird, right? Like Bowie?"

"Lady Gaga is a woman!" snapped Kurt. "She's only the biggest pop act to come along in decades. She's boundary pushing. The most theatrical performer of our generation. She changes looks faster than Britt changes sexual partners."

"It's true," said Brittany.

"It makes sense that Vocal Adrenaline would pay homage," imputed Artie. "It's a brilliant move. She's perfect for them."

"Now hold on a second," Mr. Schue interjected. "We might be able to kill two birds with one stone here. We can help Tina find a new look and find a competitive number for regionals. This week, your assignment: Gaga."

****

"Wait, hold on," laughed Juniper. "Figgins thinks you're a vampire?"

"Yeah," chuckled Tina.

"That's so stupid and so funny at the same time," said Juniper, wiping away tears from all the laughter. "It would be pretty cool if you were a vampire though."

"That would be pretty awesome," agreed Tina. "Well, I need to get going. Artie and I are going to a movie."

"You two dorks are so cute together," the brunette smiled. "Just no tonguing in the darkness of the theatre"

Tina laughed a little and gave her friend a hug goodbye before heading down the hall. As Juniper walked away in the opposite direction, Azimio and Karofsky came up to her.

"What do you idiots want?" asked the brunette, crossing her arms.

"Are you really trying to act all tough right now?" scoffed Karofsky. "Don't act like you're not some poser who acts like a badass when really she's just a scared little girl."

"And maybe you shouldn't act like a dick to feel better about your sad, miserable life," said Juniper.

"Are you back talking me?" asked Karofsky. "You've got a lot of nerve, foster freak."

"You can't talk to me like that."

"I think he just did," said Azimio. "What are you gonna do about it? Go crying to Mr. Schue?"

"We'll see who's crying once I punch your stupid face in."

"You're joking right?" the jock scoffed. "This little girl thinks she's better than us, Karofsky."

"I say we teach her a lesson about that," said Karofsky.

"I say you're right," agreed Azimio as they took steps closer to the smaller girl.

"You guys really don't want to do that," said Juniper, her voice shaking as she backed away from them.

"Not so tough now, are you?" Karofsky chuckled cruelly.

"You lay one finger on her and you're both dead!"

The three turned to the sound of the voice and saw Santana walking up to them, arms crossed and an unamused expression on her face. The Latina stepped between Juniper and the jocks.

"So here's what's going to happen," said Santana. "You're gonna walk away now before Auntie Snixx shows up to go all Lima Heights on your sorry asses."

"I think Z and I can take an orphan and a cheerleader," said Karofsky.

"Call her an orphan again. See what happens," said the raven haired girl. "I dare you."

"Orphan."

"You're dead," said the Latina, and she lunged at Karofsky.

Juniper's eyes widened as she watched Santana beat the jock. Azimio seemed equally as shocked. Coach Tanaka ran up and pulled her off of him.

"Knock it off, Lopez!" yelled the football coach before turning to the jocks. "Get to the field! Practice started 10 minutes ago!"

"This isn't over, Oakley," Karofsky said to the brunette, banging his fist on a locker before walking away with Azimio and Coach Tanaka.

"I mean it dick head, you touch her you're dead!" Santana called after them before turning to the younger girl. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Juniper mumbled. "They just scare me."

The Latina stepped closer to the brunette and wrapped her in a hug. Juniper buried her face in the crook of Santana's neck and the cheerleader held her close to her.

"I promise I'm not going to let those guys hurt you," whispered Santana.

****

"Little monsters, take a bow," said Mr. Schue.

Everyone did some poses in their theatricality costumes before sitting down.

"Ladies, Kurt, I am really, really impressed," praised Mr. Schue. "You know what the best part is? Each one of your costumes shows a different aspect of your personalities."

"Wait, where's Rachel?" asked Juniper.

"Yeah, shouldn't she be doing something totally obnoxious right now?" asked Puck.

"Rachel kinda got some intense news yesterday," said Mercedes.

"We were spying on Vocal Adrenaline-" Quinn started.

"You guys need to stop doing that," Mr. Schue interrupted. "But, what did you find out?"

"Miss Corcoran, their coach," Mercedes began, "she's Rachel's mom."

"Oh my god," said Juniper, exchanging a shocked look with Santana.

"Are you serious?" asked Mr. Schue.

"We're screwed," said Puck. "Rachel's gonna jump ship over to Vocal Adrenaline."

"Never," Rachel said as she walked into the room, wearing a dress with a bunch of stuffed animals. "I don't wanna talk about it though. I'm still processing the news. And my dads are moving my therapist to our spare room later this afternoon. All I know is that I'm not going anywhere and I've chosen a Lady Gaga look that expresses the longing for a childhood I was deprived of."

"You look terrible. I look awesome," said Brittany.

"I think it's the Kermit the Frog look," imputed Mercedes.

"And we have a jumper," said Kurt as a frog fell off of Rachel's dress.

"My dads can't sew, so these are just stapled on," said Rachel.

"Guys, why don't we worry about this later and try to focus on the song," said Mr. Schue.

"I couldn't agree more. Hit it!"