Deviate | Levi Ackerman x OC

Ch. 9

The walk to Erwin's office felt longer than usual for some reason. No, of course I knew the reason for this – making my decision known formally to Erwin makes this real. And real can be absolutely terrifying. I lead the way with Levi and Hange once again discussing among themselves behind me. I stopped in front of the door and took a breath before turning around to face them both.

"Let's do this!" Hange declared, rubbing their hands together and leaning forward to knock. Reluctantly, I reached out to stop them, prompting a quizzical look on their face.
"I have to do this one alone," I affirmed, my resolve wavering a bit when I see their face fall. "I think. Right?"
"Tch. Yes, you have to go it alone this time," Levi reiterated. "She's going to have to get used to functioning around here without you, Shitty Glasses. Might as well help the process."
"Of course I know that but, but - I just didn't think I'd have to start already," Hange pouted slightly but offered an encouraging squeeze of my arm.
I rolled my eyes at them both, "The two of you can see yourselves out now."
I knocked firmly on the door and after a few moments heard Erwin's voice call to me from inside. I looked at them once more before walking in; Hange offered two thumbs up while Levi's face was mostly expressionless as usual. Turning my back to them once again, I turned the doorknob and entered the office, shutting it behind me before those two could do or say anything else.

Erwin glanced over at me as I made my way inside, a small but serious smile on his face. I walked confidently over to the front of his desk, stood at attention and raised my hand to my chest in salute. He nodded in acceptance and greeted me. "Good morning, Astrid."
"Good morning, Sir. Thank you for seeing me, and so soon after our last meeting."
"Anytime I can, I will. I hope you know this," he reassured, offering the chair in front of him. "I was actually thrilled when Hange mentioned you already wanted to discuss it again."
I groaned in my head and sat down. Of course Hange had already let him know.
"They're nothing if not persistent, our Hange," I commented before taking a breath. "After seriously mulling it over and considering the options thoroughly, I would be honored to accept the leadership position you offered yesterday."
Erwin leaned back in his chair and folded his hands. "Excellent, Attie. I'm glad to hear it, I think you'll really come into your own and serve as an invaluable asset to the Survey Corps."
I felt myself beam but tried to conceal it. "Thank you, Sir. I will do everything in my power to prove you right, and-," I stopped myself before finishing that last bit.
"And prove any others wrong?" He completed the thought, more knowingly than asking.
"Something like that, yes."
"Ah, have some doubters already, do you?"
I hummed to myself, Levi's snarky comments coming to mind. I was sure Erwin already knew who I was referring to, too, as the pool of people who had intel of this proposal was quite limited. But I wasn't about to give that any more attention. "Nothing I can't handle, Sir. It'll just make the accomplishment that much more satisfying in the end."
"Very well," he picked up and rustled through some of the paperwork on his desk. "It looks like the formal start of the new quarter is about a month from now. You can begin working any time before then, but this is the absolute latest "report by" date. I think this would provide you ample time to complete any existing work you have with Hange, re-acclimate their next assistant, and transition seamlessly into your post alongside Levi. Fortunately Moblit has already held your role once before, so it should be fairly easy to make the switch again."
Poor Moblit, I couldn't help but think with a laugh to myself. He'd just expressed last night how much he welcomed the calm over the chaos working with Hange brings.
"Absolutely, Sir. I'll make sure the transition is as efficient as possible for all parties involved."
"Has Levi told you anything about some of his upcoming projects as well?" Erwin seemed to be gauging my reaction, likely trying to figure out how much, if any, progress had been made between the two of us.
I was too embarrassed to admit that I only remembered bits and pieces of what Levi had mentioned regarding work the night before so I figured getting it directly from the source was best. "Very little in passing. Is there anything you can share with me about it, Sir?"
"He's going to be hand-picking his own squad, a sort of special operations unit of sorts. I'm not sure how involved he'll let you be with the process directly, but at the very least you'll be able to observe what that looks like from the beginning for when you head a team of your own."
I took in his explanation and displayed my understanding with a bow of my head. "Thank you again, Commander – both for the opportunity at all and for your patience and understanding regarding some time to mull it over."
"Never a problem, Attie – I appreciate your honesty and transparency. I prefer you make sure it's something you're confident in taking on rather than committing with any uncertainty. I know you'll serve us well."
I smiled at Erwin and got to my feet. After giving him a salute, I turned and departed his office. I was admittedly relieved when my crossfire colleagues were no longer camped out and ready to pounce on the other side. While I was rather content with how things were progressing around here for me, I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that something was not quite right after unsuccessfully returning home last night. I made my way back to try and revisit how that could be.

I was able to slip into my room undetected and got into something a little more comfortable before sitting on top of my bed. I pulled a pillow into my lap and began to think. I've dreamed before, sure, and had some rather intense ones over the years; I've never consistently stayed in one dream past multiple wake ups. I got up and walked into the bathroom, analyzing the reflection that looked back to me closely. The same eyes I've always known stared back at me as I scrutinized my appearance thoroughly. Even after spending the night in a braid, my waves were falling back into their natural shapes framing my face. I even still had that scar above my eyebrow I got from falling out of a tree when I was younger, running my finger over it to verify that I wasn't just seeing things.
I splashed water on my face and rubbed my eyes a bit, wondering how exactly I was going to speed this process along. It wasn't that I particularly wanted to leave – quite the contrary actually, I hadn't felt this content in my day-to-day in a long time. Something about an extended stay in this state, though, made me a little anxious as it was a first for anything like this. I sat cross-legged back on my bed and grabbed the pillow I'd discarded, holding it up to my face and abruptly yelling into it. Did I actually think that was going to do anything to help my situation? Of course not, but it did make me feel the slightest bit better.
I leaned back until I was flat on my bed, still holding the pillow to my face. I hummed into it and took a couple deep breaths in an effort to ground myself. Maybe being dog-tired left me too exhausted to actually get back to where I needed to be, I wondered. I'd try to be a bit more mindful about it this time and see where that got me.
I closed my eyes and focused hard, envisioning being in my bed at home with Vi sitting next to me. I imagined the coffees we'd get from that shop down the street and how the sky would likely still be many shades of grey following that gnarly storm I credited with getting me here in the first place. I pictured the candy and popcorn we'd procure for a marathon of our favorite series together – I couldn't help but giggle a bit at that last part because if only Vi knew, like really knew. I centered myself and my attention on these points and felt anything else in the background sort of fade away for a moment. I almost felt like I was getting somewhere...

Until I heard my door get thrown open and someone enter.

"You're napping? In the middle of the day?!" Hange lightheartedly reprimanded as they made their way inside.
"I'm not sleeping," I clarified, half muffled as I removed my pillow from my face. "I was just... taking a moment to myself."
"Sure thing. Although for not sleeping, I think this is the most I've seen you in your sleepwear in quite some time."
I froze for a moment, realizing that they were once again seeing me in a large tee and underwear for the second time in one day, and all before noon. I didn't even pretend to be embarrassed about that part, though – it was Hange after all.
"Luckily for you, Hanj, I just really hate outside clothes where I sleep."
"Outside clothes? You're already starting to sound like Short Stack and you guys are just now on the bare minimum of speaking terms. I wonder how long you'll have to spend together before the transformation is complete."
I scoffed and sat up, hitting them with my pillow.
They walked over and took a seat at my desk chair. "Soooo, how did it go?"
"It went great. Erwin was thrilled I accepted, and we have a month to set it all up."
"Just a month?" They stuck out their bottom lip and pouted.
"I know," I dropped my shoulders. "I thought it'd take a little longer than that. And honestly, it could be even less time depending on how Levi wants to approach it."
"Eh, I'm not too worried about him," they clarified, waving their hand to shoo the thought from my mind. "You guys are able to hold a conversation now, sure, but it's not like you're best friends or anything. I think I'll get to hold on to you for most of the next month. Hopefully."
I smirked at them. "Hopefully me, you, and Moblit get as much time together as possible."
"Moblit!!!!" They smiled widely at the realization, "If I can't have you, Moblit is definitely next best on my roster!"
"I think he'd appreciate the compliment," I agreed, making sure to keep my giggles to myself.