Deviate | Levi Ackerman x OC

Ch. 21

Upon our return, headquarters was filled with a tangible mix of relief and grief. It was difficult to savor the positives of the situation after having to round up and record a headcount of our comrades who didn't make it back with us, but that was an unfortunate part of this way of life. Squad Levi seemed especially in high spirits back in the mess hall that evening. Eld and Gunther were jubilant about their performance out there while also teasing Petra and Oluo about their hesitance to engage.
"Hey. What happened out there, guys?"
"I think I saw them both wet their pants as soon as that abnormal broke through the recon line," Gunther piled on.
Eld chortled, nudging Oluo. Petra's frown deepened and she crossed her arms tightly across her chest. "Yeah, yeah, we've heard it all already."
"I remember my first time outside the walls," Eld continued and they erupted again into laughter, which prompted Oluo to shove him back. This was the most I think I'd ever heard him speak at one time, much less joke around.
I had so many thoughts going on inside my head; consolation that our team made a safe return, sorrow at the ones who didn't, and now anxiety as time was ticking away, leading up to having to provide Levi with some kind of reasonable explanation for my behavior. I wasn't very hungry but I busied myself with moving the food around on my tray to make it look like I had eaten some anyway. Without looking up, I could see someone had stopped across the table in front of me. I instantly knew who it was and forced myself to look up from my barely eaten meal at the same time the rest of his squad did, too.
"Nice work today," Levi began, speaking more to the others than me. "Report back to my office after dinner for your post-mission brief."
I saw everyone nod once unanimously. He shifted his attention to me, as emotionless as ever. "Can I speak to you privately?"
My own uneasiness had a hold on me, but I nodded in acceptance anyway. I got to my feet, disposed of my tray and followed him upstairs.

I couldn't read where Levi's head was, but with everything else that had happened in the last 24 hours, I hadn't really considered what I was going to tell him. Something told me that outright sharing 'I'm actually from another reality and that's why I'm blanking on whatever it was we had together' was not going to go over well. He reached his door first and held it open for me. I entered and settled in as much as my nerves would allow me. Levi made his way across the room, taking his sweet time getting into it.
"Why do I feel like I'm in trouble?" I intended for that to remain a thought in my head but ended up sharing it out loud before I could stop myself.
"Why did you do that out there?"
"Do what?"
"Oh, come on, Ace," hearing him use my solemnly heard nickname again caused a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach. "You know exactly what. You weren't supposed to intervene."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"Levi, they acted just fine. Gunther helped take down that abnormal and Eld delivered the final blow. What's so wrong with that?"
"They only reacted after you did. You were supposed to be a final recourse, not the one to set it all in motion."
I shook my head at him. "This is what you want to do tonight? I mean, that's fine. I just thought our discussion was going to go in another direction entirely, but if this is the way you want–"
"Don't," he commanded, holding a hand up at me. "And don't think you're getting out of that, either."
I pursed my lips to hide a smirk. "I didn't do anything for them. They more than proved themselves – I just wasn't going to wait for that abnormal to be on top of us before someone stepped in, that's all."
Levi didn't seem totally content with my explanation, but he also didn't open his mouth to counter so I continued. "Just because you're godlike in the field doesn't mean everyone else is, or will ever be. This team is an absolute force to be reckoned with, but seeing it play out firsthand is always going to be different than hypotheticals. I didn't mean to step on any toes or jump in prematurely, but for my own safety and that of others around me, if the opportunity is there and no one else is taking it, I'm going to. Always."
He huffed back at me, clearly less than thrilled at my stance. "You still should've let them initiate the attack."
"I'll remember that for next time."
We were quiet for a moment after that. It didn't seem like he was actually upset with me, but I could understand his frustration. He glanced up from his desk to catch my eye. His earnest irises held mine there before looking very deliberately at a clock across the room and back again.
Message received, I thought to myself. He was still very much aware of our previous arrangement and intended to hold me to it – and made sure I was aware of that fact, too.
A knock at the door cut the nonverbal communication short. As I stood up to answer it, I asked a favor of him. "Focus on the positives, okay? They made it back and helped eliminate a threat for others, too. That's a win in my book and it should be in yours, too."
He nodded slowly and I turned back to let his squad in. They were still in good spirits when they arrived, greeting me as they shuffled inside. Just before Levi began, I excused myself, prompting some confused looks. I wanted the focal point of the conversation to be their achievements, not anything about me, so I threw out something about needing to see Hange and bolted out of the room before anyone could inquire further.