Deviate | Levi Ackerman x OC

Ch. 27

There was ice in the pit of my stomach as I made my way to Levi's office. I knew the blissful bubble we were in last night and into this morning was going to be short lived, but it ran its course even faster than I anticipated. I didn't know where to begin with him and I knew going straight to sex wasn't going to help make the matter any easier, either. I can understand it, of course; between the expedition yesterday and whatever breakdown/breakthrough I was able to finally realize last night, emotions were high and we jumped right into things we might not have as quickly otherwise. But that couldn't be undone now.

Not that I wanted it to, for the record.

This situation was both the best and least ideal thing to happen to me. The best obviously because that beautiful, brooding man not only held a major piece of my heart, but took good care of it, too. He was patient and kind and despite me fumbling what we shared once already, he didn't hold that against me. But I couldn't pinpoint exactly what was the least ideal part of it all: the timing, the circumstances, or the inevitable arena of public opinion. The most obvious, of course, was how unstable my shifting between here and present day home was. How could I expect to uphold my half of a healthy union if I couldn't even control when I'd be around? I don't know if I'd ever be able to have a solid handle on it, either.

This was my chance to prove myself as a competent leader in a new position and Levi's first opportunity training someone else under him. I didn't want any relationship we might have to poorly represent us both. I worked hard to even get to this point and refused to allow any accomplishments to be overshadowed by or wrongfully accredited to who I was involved with. Sure, I could say 'Screw what people think' and I generally do stand by that sentiment. But when it comes to work, the politics are set up a little differently and the stakes are usually higher.
I finally arrived and briefly considered moving along and dealing with it all later – is there ever a 'good' time for confrontation? No, I chastised in my head, we've got to rip this band aid off. I tried unsuccessfully to shake the nerves that crept up on me and took a deep breath in preparation. I knocked twice firmly against the heavy wood. After what felt like ages, the door flew open to reveal an especially angry Levi who offered no formal greeting but stared at me before turning around. I let myself in the rest of the way and shut the door behind me, joining him at his desk.
He was quiet for a few minutes, avoiding eye contact for the first time in a good while. The resulting silence was deafening and only kicked my anxiety into overdrive.

Something had to finally give. "How, uh... how can I help with your report?"
His head snapped up to look at me straight on. "Are you serious?"
"That's why you asked me here. Isn't it?"
"Jesus fucking Christ, Ace," he sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. "You are not that dense."
"That's what you asked me to do at breakfast? And again downstairs?"
"Right, when you were wrapped up in Mike."
"Levi, we were doing just doing our laundry."
"Is that what they're calling it?" He asked rhetorically.
I laughed dryly at him. "I figured you'd be thrilled. It's right up your alley."
"Yeah, but not like that. Not with him."
I pressed a hand to my forehead, trying to compose a level-headed response. "We were washing our clothes. That is absolutely it. It's Mike, for God's sake. Does that really bother you?"
"Why was he touching you then?" He snapped back. "I'm not well versed in that part of the clothes cleaning process, which says something."
I bit my lip as I really didn't have a good counter for that part. "Maybe he was being a little overly friendly."
"Tch, maybe?"
"Okay, he was but he didn't exactly cross any lines. Available people do that kind of thing."
Levi's eyes widened and then hardened without another word.
"Available people," I stressed again. "Not me. But he doesn't know that. No one does."
I saw him clench his jaw and relax it. "Okay. So should they?"
I grit my teeth. He was really going to make me come out and say it. "Well, that's just it. What would I even tell them if I wanted to?"
The corner of his mouth barely twitched upward. He set me up and was enjoying this but didn't otherwise offer an answer to my question.
"Perfect," I replied curtly. "So about your report?"
He rolled his eyes at me. "There is no damn report. I submitted everything yesterday."
I pursed my lips and nodded slowly. I didn't really know what to say next but I wasn't going to be the one spearheading this conversation; it was gonna have to be a two-way street or nothing at all.