Deviate | Levi Ackerman x OC

Ch. 25

Ugh, they were laying on the guilt trip heavy already.

"Hange, don't be like that," I told them, rubbing my temples. I did want to let them in, of course, but whatever this was is so new and I was already having a time figuring it out myself. I didn't think extra feedback was going to be especially helpful; plus Levi being the stoic person he is, I can't imagine he'd be especially stoked about me giving them immediate play-by-plays as soon as we parted.
"There's nothing to share because... because I'm not entirely sure of the situation myself."
They had a quizzical expression on their face but hesitated before countering. "Well you don't spend the night with someone you're unsure of... Or do you? Zero judgment either way, sometimes needs are just that."
They weren't letting up, so there was really no use in continuing to deny it. "I don't think that was the original intention."
"You guys are the most unnecessarily difficult to read," Hange tried to brighten the mood. "Although this reunion seemed to go well enough."
"Well, what happened to us in the first place?" The question came out when I intended for it to remain a thought to myself. I quickly began fumbling, trying to think of how I was going to save that. "I mean, what do you think it was?"
"I've speculated plenty but I don't know for sure. Relationships are fickle, and when you add the countless additional stressors we've got around here alone, it's no wonder you don't see many weddings in the Survey Corps."
I pursed my lips, thinking of what I could tell them that would satisfy their curiosity without compromising all of our privacy. "You always give me a hard time about how quickly I jumped back into normal life after everything happened, right?"
They nodded in response.
"I think it just... all caught up with me. One of those things that if you don't make time to deal with it, it'll force you to eventually. And when it did, I was so consumed by working through my own shit that I withdrew from him without really realizing it."
"Hmm. So you pulled a Levi on Levi? Pulling back when things start getting a little too real is more his signature than yours."
"Not intentionally," I specified, wanting to make this distinction well known. "This has never happened to me before, so I didn't exactly see it coming."
"I understand. So naturally, when you started pulling away from the promising relationship, Levi took offense and you guys went from strangers to friends to maybe lovers-or-whatever-you'd-call-it, then back to strangers again?"
I nodded my head at them; they certainly had a flair for the dramatics and a way with words. "In a sense, I guess so."
They smiled smugly and laced their fingers behind their head. "Well, now it seems you guys sped right past friends again and onto lovers."
"Whatever you say, Hanj," I avoided their eyes and smoothed my hair. "All I do know for sure is that we're finally on a positive turn again, which can only aid in this training program. His constant 'one step forward, ten steps back' approach was going to give me whiplash and seriously challenged my patience."

They looked eager, peering at me from over the top of their glasses. "So... you gonna tell me how it was or...?"
My mouth fell open and I couldn't contain my laughter anymore. "Hange! You don't know what you're talking about and that's a little pervy, even for you!"
"Don't try and flip this on me, Stroid – no one platonically visits their peers' bedrooms late at night around here."
"That you know of. It might be a new thing, who knows."
"You know," they said with certainty. "And when you're ready, I'm sure you'll let me know, too. I'll be waiting."
"You'll be waiting forever," I ribbed back. "But god, I cannot tell you how relieved I am to have gotten over that hurdle."
"Over the hurdle, under–"
"Hange Zoe!" I felt my face blush and they were making me laugh so hard, it hurt my stomach. "You're sounding a little... deprived over there. As much as you're grilling me, is everything okay with you?"
"We're all adults here. If there's anything you don't have to worry about when it comes to me, Stroid, it's my needs being met – all of them," they added with a cheeky smirk.
I gasped. "And you have the nerve to berate me about this hypothetical sexual encounter when apparently there's lots of real stuff I'm missing from you!"
Hange raised a hand at me, incredulous look on their face. "Oh, come on now. Hook ups and relationships are two very different things. Hookups come and go, relationships have the potential for permanence. I'm not in the market for one of those myself anyway, just... de-stressing when I can. You understand."
"Absolutely. You never cease to amaze me."
"Awe, the feeling is very mutual, darling! I'm not looking forward to having to share you, though – with Levi of all people."
"Let's just... take it day by day," I proposed earnestly. "No need to get worked up about anything."
"Ah, so no riding off into the sunset just yet?"
I chortled at their suggestion. "Not quite. I'm not even sure it'll become public knowledge for a long while still."
"Really?" They looked genuinely shocked at me. "Why not?"
"Well... I don't want to be taken any less seriously or like I was given anything I didn't earn because of who I know."
"Or who you're–"
I narrowed my eyes at them. "Sure, that. But I want to earn the respect of my peers and new cadets on my own merit rather than by who I associate with, that's all. Plus, I made such a big deal about working with Levi to Erwin in the first place."
"Oh, Stroid, I don't think you'd have to worry about that. Erwin strikes me as a hopeless romantic underneath it all."
"Even so, I want to show him it was a beneficial move to take a chance on me professionally – not just personally."
They nodded, leaning back in their seat. "Fine, those are all plenty valid. So you're in no rush to flaunt your new love. As long as I get all the down low details, I'm happy if you're happy."
"I am happy," I confirmed out loud, both for them and myself. "It's so early still – we just made notable progress in the last 24 hours. We haven't established any terms or anything. I plan to enjoy this for what it is and take it from there."
Hange clapped their hands exaggeratedly for me. "So wise beyond your years, dear. Always have been."
"Thanks, it's from all the trauma," I deadpanned, keeping a neutral expression.
Their face instantly dropped, a look of concern coming over their features. "Oh my god. Stroid, are you–"
My smile finally broke through, the laughter I'd been holding back making me double over.
They didn't find my sense of humor very funny, reaching for a pen from my desk and hurling it over at me. "He's already rubbing off on you."
"Hey, don't give him that much credit. I'm hilarious all on my own."
They scoffed at me and stood up, stretching. "Get up and get dressed in some of your own clothes and we'll go eat something."
I nodded, getting up to root through my dresser drawers quickly. Hange excused themselves to the hall so I could get ready. I hurried to brush my teeth and wash my face, taking my hair down to style it in a neater braid. Putting on a white button down shirt and olive green pants, I gave myself a quick once over in the mirror and stepped out to meet them.
"I'm sorry for taking so long, I tried to–," I shut my door behind me and audibly drew in a breath when I turned to face them.

Hange looked back at me with a shit-eating grin on their face, Levi standing across from them looking a little more confused. I'd interrupted them mid-conversation and immediately felt bad at my response. "Sorry, you guys startled me."
"By 'you guys', she means you," They made sure to specify to Levi lightheartedly.
"Not in a bad way," I hissed. "You were just the only one out here last I checked."
They shrugged their shoulders and turned around to start walking.
Levi's eye caught mine and my stomach did a flip. The corner of his mouth turned up and I returned a small grin of my own.
"Good morning," he greeted quietly as we started walking a few paces behind them. "Again."
"Good morning," I tried to keep it as cool as possible. "Long time no see."
He huffed out a minuscule laugh. "What was the damage?"
"Nothing I haven't handled before," I assured him. "They have quite the... imagination but nothing rooted in definitive fact, so I'll let them think whatever they want in that pretty little head of theirs."
He nodded slowly and a comfortable silence fell over us for a moment. Before long, though, he spoke up again. "So, what are–"
"Yeah, what are you two are discussing back here?"
I slammed face first into Hange, who'd stopped and apparently had been trying to eavesdrop. I placed my hands on either side of them and pushed myself backwards, scowling.
"Politics and the current state of the world," I sneered, touching my hand to my head where I'm pretty sure it had collided with their clavicle.
"Ew," was their only answer as we entered the mess hall.

The three of us got our trays together but as we turned to take our seats, Levi and I parted to find his squad while Hange beelined for their usual table. The squad was in good spirits again this morning, the taunts at Petra and Oluo's expense seeming to have subsided a bit. She beamed when she caught my eye, waving at me. I smiled at her, taking the seat directly to her left while Levi snagged the spot across from me beside Eld. They all perked up a bit in unison when he sat down.
"Good morning, Captain Levi and Attie... Captain Attie?" Petra attempted.
Her use of that title made me a little uncomfortable but I laughed it off anyway. "Attie is perfect. Good morning, guys."
The table resumed their small talk gradually as I shifted my focus to my meal in front of me. In front of other people, Levi acted very much like normal: not glaring at me nearly as much as he used to, but not overly outgoing, either. He began going over their objectives for the day which included reorganizing and cleaning their rooms and gear from yesterday when my mind admittedly began to wander. It was a little intriguing to see the various sides of Levi from my new point of view; Humanity's Strongest to everyone else turned to something more akin to putty in my hands when I did that thing he liked behind closed doors. I suddenly heard him clear his throat in an exaggerated fashion from across the way, bringing me back down to earth from my thoughts.

"So?"
I blinked at him, lost at where we could've been in the conversation. "So...?"
"Tch, I asked if you were free later to help me finalize my report from yesterday."
"Oh," I said, still sounding a little confused but rolling with it. "Yes, of course, sir."
Once again, hearing that made his pupils dilate slightly and he broke my gaze to look down at the table. I brought my hand up to my face to cover my smirk.
The rest of our breakfast period passed without much incident, although Oluo never seemed to visibly relax the way the others did. He kept his posture rigid, shoulders firmly back and spoke in a rougher sounding voice than he'd exhibited previously. Everyone seemed to notice but no one really commented on it; Petra scrunched her face each time he did it, seeming the least amused of all. They were an entertaining bunch, that's for sure.
As we finished up, Levi's eyes flickered across to me and gave me a single bow of his head. I wasn't entirely sure how to take that, but Eld interjected and asked to speak with him privately before I could find out. I didn't necessarily mind – he'd asked for my help at some point today, not at this exact moment. While he didn't order me to clean, there was plenty I could busy myself with in the meantime. I didn't want to be that girl who completely loses herself in her partner, even with a partner as addictive as this one – if that's even what he technically was? I discarded my tray, said my goodbyes to the others, and headed back upstairs.