Then I realized; I'm not angry anymore.
The thing I regret the most with me and you was that I stayed. That's what I still lay awake at night thinking about. All the pain I could have avoided, how I wish I would have respected myself. They say things happen for a reason and I am happy we happened, but if I could do things different I would have left the day all that happened with your uncle. All the months after it happened and with everything that happened with you the thought of leaving crossed my mind often, but the thought of being without you hurt so much that I couldn't go through with it. I honestly thought I couldn't live without you. I wish I had a life outside of you, but I didn't. I didn't leave because I was afraid you wouldn't have cared. That my absence in your days wouldn't effect you whatsoever and that it would be just me who's hurting from us separating. I'm not saying I would've broken up with you, what happened with your uncle wasn't your fault, but I wish I would've moved back to my mother and let whatever happen after that happen.
But, I can't spend the rest of my life wishing I had done things differently. What happened, happened. Our seven months lay heavily on my mind almost every night and I just want to be left alone. I can't sleep. I'm exhausted. I'm so tired of thinking about it. Please leave me alone. Why is it so hard to let things go? It's been almost five months yet you still linger.
YOU ARE READING
Read This When I'm Gone
Non-Fiction"And when you're sitting on the side of the road crying over what feels like the best god damn thing you ever had - well, at least you had it." Bear with me... This is quite the roller coaster ride, and that roller coaster ride is my relationship.
