This whole week has been awful. I'm tired, I have no patience, I don't like anyone, I want to be alone.
We were intimate last night for the first time in about a week or so. I didn't feel anything. Maybe it's this slump I'm in, I don't know. But he was kissing me and touching me and I just felt like my mind was somewhere else. His phone kept beeping. It pissed me off. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I felt so distant. Afterwards I just turned away from him and fell asleep.
I wonder if I've finally had enough. Maybe my heart is done with it all, tired of taking so much shit all the time.
This past week when I've been tired and unattached he's been giving what I've been holding back. He's kissed me constantly and held me. But today it felt different. He didn't really care it seems. I wish he would ask me whats wrong, and I wish I could say the truth. But I always end up saying I'm just exhausted. Which is true, but not the whole truth. I've thought about it constantly. Should I just lay it all out on the table? Or should I just wait and see if this feeling going away? I really don't know how to handle this situation.
I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it either. Everyone else would just tell me to leave him if I feel the way I do. But it's so easy to tell someone what they should do. It's not that simple. He's my love, my partner, we live together. I've put almost three years of my heart and soul into this relationship. I don't feel like it's so easy to let go of. And I don't want to let go of it, but I also don't want to feel like this anymore.
Maybe I'm just depressed. I'm worn out. I'm lost. I want someone to hug me and tell me it'll all be okay.
YOU ARE READING
Read This When I'm Gone
Non-Fiction"And when you're sitting on the side of the road crying over what feels like the best god damn thing you ever had - well, at least you had it." Bear with me... This is quite the roller coaster ride, and that roller coaster ride is my relationship.
