Nights with you are usually spent with me sleeping and you staying awake a while longer watching your favorite tv show on the iPad. I can't count the times you've woken me up. But I don't mind, because it's always for the same sweet reason.
I wake up to something touching my face repeatedly. Once I open my eyes I catch you planting a kiss on my lips. You smile when you see I've woken up. "I love you." You whisper to me and my heart swells, and you kiss me again.
I can't believe the words I'm writing. Is this reality? Am I dreaming? You must be a dream.
I can't help but wish that our relationship could be as perfect as those sweet moments. I wish that I was secure and always knew you only wanted me, forever. I wish that I felt like I am enough for you. I wish you always made me feel like I'm enough for you. I wish I wouldn't worry. I wish we were perfect. But that's something I've learned to except, even though it was painful and took a while, that we aren't and never will be perfect. There will be times when I feel hopeless and I'm sure somtimes you feel that way, too. And honestly, there are times where I absolutely hate everything. Sometimes I just wanna walk away and be one hundred percent alone, never letting anyone hurt me again. But I've accepted it. It's not perfect. It won't be perfect. You have to take what you get, I guess. It sounds wrong, but that's how it is, I think. Carry the good times with you, close to your memories and heart, don't let yourself forget them, they're important. Take the bad times and don't forget them either. Don't be a fool. Don't pretend they never happened.
But overall, don't be afraid to love. Love with everything you've got. Love until it kills you. Because there's nothing else worth dying for. I'm not even talking about relationships here... Love your mom, love your sister, love your best friend, love your dog. I don't care who it is. Just love. Love, love, love. At least you can say you loved in the end.
YOU ARE READING
Read This When I'm Gone
Non-Fiction"And when you're sitting on the side of the road crying over what feels like the best god damn thing you ever had - well, at least you had it." Bear with me... This is quite the roller coaster ride, and that roller coaster ride is my relationship.
