Princess Charming (gxg)

Part 6

It was really odd- waking up at my brother and Cora's house, and not in my room in my apartment at college.

Everything had been moved out, and into one of the guest rooms at my brother's- that was now going to be my room. At least until I figured out what I wanted to do with my life.

What did I want to do with my life career-wise? I had no fucking idea.

I didn't even think I was going to complete college. If you told me a couple of years ago that I actually got a college degree, I would have laughed.

My wife would have laughed too.

I had a pit in my stomach. Why?

I was vulnerable with Hallie. I told her that I was married, and that my wife died. That's not something I usually divulge with people I don't really know. But something about Hallie made me want to open up to her. I was now regretting it. Not because I thought she would use it against me in any way...it was just a personal aspect to my life that I don't usually tell girls I am talking to.

But Hallie was different. I knew she was. Even if I didn't want to admit it fully yet.

I was eating breakfast, a bowl of oatmeal with berries, the first morning at my brother's house after graduation. I still couldn't quite call it my home yet. Though I was extremely grateful he was letting me live with him.

It's not like I had anyone else to live with. Plus, I sure as hell couldn't live on my own- I didn't have a job yet.

As I ate, Cora came into the kitchen.

Cora Koval, my sister-in-law, has been one of the greatest blessings in my life. My parents don't accept her- and now my brother- because she is African American. Cora is everything they aren't- kind, accepting, understanding, and open minded. I thank whatever higher power is up there that my brother married her a year ago. And chose her over our parents and sister, Mariya.

Cora is an art teacher, and she does not work in the summer, so it was not surprising that she came down into the kitchen at 9:30 AM, still in her silk robe. Cora is naturally stunning- she has gorgeous, smooth skin, big brown eyes, and wears her hair short and curly.

"I like having you here, Alina." she said to me, putting a coffee pod in the Keurig.

"Let's see if you feel that way in a month." I chuckled.

"I'm sure I will feel the same as I do now." Cora smiled at me. She then studied me for a moment as I ate another spoonful of my oats.

"Do I have something on my face? You're just looking at me." I said to her.

"You're stressed about something. I can feel it. It's the energy you're giving off." Cora said to me, grabbing some almond milk creamer out of the refrigerator.

"Cora. I am always stressed about something." I spoke.

"If you don't want to tell me what it is, that's okay. I'm here for you though." Cora said, gently.

I sighed. "You're too nice and supportive, you know that? I'll tell you what's going on."

Cora laughed. "Just giving you the kindness and support that you deserve that you and Felix never got from your parents."

"True that." I laughed as Cora stirred her coffee. She stood across the kitchen counter, facing me. I then said, "Okay. So... I think I may actually like Hallie."

"And what seems to be the problem with that?" Cora asked me, "I know you said Victoria has her reservations. But she's your best friend. If you fell for her sister and showed her that you could be a good girlfriend to her sister, she would be all for it."

"Slow down. No one is becoming anyone's girlfriend." I said, "And yes- Victoria is a problem when it comes to this. But I am feeling uneasy about something else. I told her about Jocelyn."

Cora's dark eyes widened, "Did you tell her everything?"

"No, not even close." I shook my head, "I didn't even tell her Jocelyn's name. But I did tell her that I used to be married. She asked if I got divorced, and I told her no- that my wife died."

Cora was quiet for a moment, then she said, "I think this is very telling- the fact that you trusted Hallie with that information. You don't tell just anyone that."

"I barely tell anyone." I said, "And it freaks me out that I just opened my mouth like that to Hallie."

"I know it does, sis." Cora said, "I know how scared you are to let someone in after everything that happened with Jocelyn. Yes, she was your wife. But it wasn't a walk in the park with her. You've been through a lot for someone who is only 22 years old."

"It seems as though Hallie has been through a lot for someone who is only 20 years old." I said, "She seems completely misunderstood by her family. Victoria included."

"It sounds like she could use you as much as you could use her in your life." Cora said.

"It just freaks me out. A lot." I said, "I know I can't live this way forever though. Just going through girls like they're candy or something."

"But you've gotten comfortable with it." Cora said, "And that's understandable. I think you should tell Hallie this. That you're scared."

I immediately shook my head, "No way. I am not telling her that."

"Listen to me, Alina. It doesn't have to be some big statement. The next time you see her- if you do- let her know that you are feeling this way. It might take some weight off your shoulders. Just saying." Cora grinned at me.

I know you're right, Cora. Dammit.

After I ate, I went up to my bedroom that was still coming together. I laid down on my bed, with the intention to start looking at either jobs or Graduate programs. But I wound up looking at what I always did when I got anxious and overwhelmed- my camera roll. A couple of years back.

I looked at a selfie of Jocelyn and me. It was my 20th birthday, and she had her arm around me. We were smiling. Everything looked just peachy in our relationship.

Dammit, Jocelyn. Why did you have to fuck me up so badly?

Yet I can't stop thinking about you. Still.

I want to move on. I really do. I want to find my soulmate. Because I'm sorry...it wasn't you.

As if on cue, I got a text from Hallie. We hadn't texted since the party. I had been wanting to text her, but I was scared.

Her text said: Hey, Alina. :) I hope this isn't like last time- where we see each other and then not talk again.

I immediately texted her back: No, Hallie. I want to talk to you. I want to see you, even.

She texted me back: Good. I'm glad. What are you doing on Friday I would love to make plans.

I said back: Seeing you, then.

I couldn't help but smile at my phone. I am not someone that just smiles at my phone- but I felt it with Hallie. The butterflies. The sparks.

Even though I was terrified out of my fucking mind.

Just play it cool, Alina.

Even if you're practically dying on the inside.