Princess Charming (gxg)

Part 21

After Victoria came home from her date, I went up to her room and we talked for a while.

I was still feeling...nervous about what Hallie and I had done. But she assured me that it would be okay.

Victoria's date went well. She said that she almost went back to Dean's apartment- but decided that she wanted to wait a couple more dates to sleep with him.

"I felt comfortable with him." Victoria said to me as we sat on her bed, "It was almost like I had known him for years. The conversation just flowed so naturally."
"That's how you know it could be a really good thing." I said to Victoria. I was happy for her.
Victoria looked down for a moment, and then she looked back up at me. "Is that how...you feel about Hallie?"
I looked back at Victoria. I said, "Yes. Immediately felt comfortable with her. I'm sorry though...that I snuck around with her."
"It's okay." Victoria said, "Obviously I want you to be happy. I want you to be happy more than anything. It just...took me by surprise that it was with my sister."
"She makes me happy, Victoria." I said, meaning it.
"Just don't hurt her, Alina. Please.
"I'm not going to." I said, "I know that I seemed heartless before when it came to girls. And I kind of was. But I really like Hallie. I promise you."

Victoria smiled and put her hand on mine. "I know I rag on Hallie a lot. But she's still my little sister. And hey- you're my best friend. If she were to ever hurt you- I'll kick her ass."
I couldn't help but laugh, "If I don't first."
"I can't see Hallie hurting you. I really can't. She doesn't have a mean bone in her body. Plus...she was pretty hurt by her ex girlfriend, Selena. I can't see her ever wanting to make someone else feel that way if she can help it." Victoria said.
"I want to know more about that." I said to Victoria.
"Go ask her. Hallie will tell you."
I smiled at my best friend. "I will. Thank you for today. I really needed it."
Victoria smiled back at me. "I know. I love you, Alina."

When I went back downstairs, Hallie was playing video games. She was still in her boy shorts, but she was now wearing a white t-shirt with it.

She paused the game when she saw me.

"Did Victoria have a good date?" she asked me.

"She did." I responded, "I'm really glad."

"That's great." Hallie said, and I went and sat next to her on the bed.

"She said she felt comfortable with him. She asked me if that's how I felt with you."

Hallie smiled at me sweetly, "What did you say?"
"Yes, of course."
"I felt it too. The first time we hung out down here together...I felt this connection to you that I don't often feel with people. I've never had many friends. My sisters always had lots of friends, and I never had too many. Sometimes I think it's all my fault." Hallie looked down.
"I'm sure it's not. How could it be?"
"I was really shy growing up. Like very, very shy. I would get scared to go to school and talk to people, even my teacher. My parents took me to see a therapist when I was very young to talk about why I was scared to socialize with people. But in their words, 'that's just where the problems started'." Hallie explained to me.
"I hate that they make you feel guilty about things you can't control."
"But I should be able to control it, in their eyes. They hardly think mental health issues are an issue. My father was so against me taking medication. He wouldn't let me for over a year." Hallie said, with an edge to her tone.
"Mental health issues are like any other issue. If you have a medical problem, you take medicine for it. However, I get it. My parents also never believed in mental health issues. Though they both clearly have them."

Hallie nodded, understanding me. "You just get it. I have mental health issues. Diagnosed conditions. I have extreme anxiety. Depression. Insomnia. ADHD. And I feel embarrassed admitting it. But my parents make me feel worse."

"I know that I have PTSD from what happened with my ex wife." I said, "Mental health issues are horrible."

Hallie looked at me, "Have you seen a therapist for it?"

"My first year at the University I tried talking to a counselor. Once. I was having terrible nightmares about it. But I found that I felt worse after I spoke to her. Bringing it all up made my mind very...cloudy." I explained.

"I get it." Hallie said, holding onto my hand, "I've been in therapy on and off my whole life. Sometimes it can make you feel worse after. I was in therapy for a while after my ex-girlfriend broke up with me. It felt like a chore sometimes to go. But I know it helped me."

Here's my in to ask about Selena.

"Tell me about it." I said, "Tell me about Selena. If you want."

Hallie looked me in the eyes. "Okay. Like I said, I never had many friends. Selena and I were in an art class together our senior year, and we just hit it off. She broke down walls that I had put up. And I felt like she understood me. I feel like I was naive to think it could be a forever kind of thing with her- but I did. I think some of it was puppy love looking back on it. But I was really heartbroken when she ended things before going to college. I felt like such a loser that I couldn't just go with her. But I couldn't go away to college. I didn't just lose my girlfriend, I lost my best friend."

There was a sadness in Hallie's eyes as she spoke. I just wanted to hug her.

"It's not naive to think that." I said, "I got married when I was 18. I know what it's like to be in love when you're very young and think it's a forever kind of thing."

"It just feels so...real." Hallie said.

"It is real." I spoke, "Did you talk to her at all after you broke up?"

"A little." Hallie nodded, "She kept trying to check up on me. Make sure I was okay. I know she felt guilty. But I eventually stopped responding. It hurt more to talk to her than it helped."

I never want to hurt her. Ever.

I just can't.

***Hallie's POV ***

Talking to Alina felt like therapy. It truly did. She had this way of listening to me and making me feel heard like no one else had before.

I could see why Victoria became such fast friends with her.

And why I was truly falling for her.

It had only been a couple of months. But I knew how I felt.

We stayed up talking for hours. That's how I knew that with her it was more than just lust and wanting to have sex. Of course- I wanted to have sex with her. But I got the same satisfaction and connection just from talking to her.

She fell asleep in my bed at 2:30 AM.

And I oddly started to feel tired as well.

My whole life I haven't been able to sleep. I remembered crying in my bedroom when I was 10 years old, knowing how late it was- and not being able to sleep. My parents forbid me from coming out of my room to tell them I couldn't sleep. All I remembered was panicking and crying.

As I've gotten older, it's gotten easier. I have video games. I have music. I don't have to go to work until 3 PM, so my schedule of eventually falling asleep at 5–6 AM works.

But it was 2:30, and as I laid next to Alina, I felt myself getting tired.

I almost tried to fight it- my eyes closing. But I couldn't.

Alina made me feel safe. She made me feel comforted. And I actually felt tired. I didn't feel on alert.

I wish I could do this every night.

That was my last thought before I fell asleep.