Princess Charming (gxg)

Part 33

"Alina, you're really quiet. Are you alright?"

Hallie asked me that question after I had been driving for a couple of minutes.

"I'm okay." I said.

No. I'm actually not okay.

I'm kind of a mess right now, actually. I want to tell you how I feel about your co-workers lingering hand on your waist but I don't want to come across as a crazy, jealous person.

Even though I kind of am a crazy, jealous person.

Just like any human being, we all have flaws.

One of mine does happen to be jealousy. I think it comes from a place of mistrust and being hurt- which some might say I have no right to be since I did cheat on Jocelyn.

But I can't help it. When I get jealous, I get concerned.

Concerned that I am going to get hurt, of course. My mind starts to run wild at all of the awful possibilities that can happen.

"I know something is bothering you. Please tell me." Hallie said to me, "Did you not like the girls and Gray? I promise we don't have to hangout with them again."

Hallie's voice sounded so desperate to find out what was going on in my mind that I knew I had to tell her.

"Is Chloe always a bit...flirty with you?" I asked Hallie.

I glanced to see her reaction.

"What do you mean by flirty?" Hallie asked, looking genuinely confused, "She is with Gray, how was she flirting with me?"

"Maybe I'm just crazy." I said, dread creeping up, "But I just noticed how she was looking at you. And when she hugged you goodbye I noticed her hand linger on your waist. It just made me think about if she is flirty with you at work. I don't know. I just feel a bit dumb now."

Hallie was quiet for a moment and then she said, "I didn't even notice. I promise that when I'm at work there is no flirting whatsoever...it didn't even cross my mind. It would never cross my mind. I don't want you to feel dumb, Alina. If I saw someone that I thought was flirting with you I would feel the exact same."

She's always so fucking sweet and understanding.

"Thank you for understanding where I'm coming from." I said, "I'm sorry it took me a moment to tell you. Believe me, I liked spending time with you and I really liked Gray and Yasmin. I just felt a little bit off about Chloe. But I trust you, fully."

"And I trust you." Hallie said to me, "Always."

When Hallie and I got back to the house, we washed our makeup off, changed out of our going out clothes, and into comfy clothes. We then laid in bed next to each other. I put my arm around Hallie as she laid her head on my shoulder.

It was dark in the room, and the only sound and light came from my Spotify channel that I had up on the TV, playing soft R&B music.

"If I notice Chloe being flirtatious in any kind of way I'll immediately put a stop to it." Hallie said softly.

"You don't have to overly be on the lookout for it." I said to Hallie, "I don't want it to affect your friendship in any way. I love that you are making friends."

"I'm not going to be friends with someone that makes you uncomfortable." Hallie said back.

"Hallie, it's okay. Don't let my jealously issues stop you from being friends with her."

"Alina." Hallie said, "You're not listening to me. I will not be friends with someone that makes you uncomfortable."

Hallie's voice was a bit firmer than usual, and she sat up and looked at me.

"Okay." I said, "I appreciate you listening to my concerns. I...have never really had that before. I know it's stupid because I was the one that wound up cheating. But I used to always get jealous about Jocelyn being around other women, especially those who were lesbians or bisexual as well. If I ever voiced my concerns she basically told me I was dumb for being jealous. Which made me calm in the moment. But it wasn't the reassurance that I truly needed. It was a bit dismissive. I'm still not quite used to someone-"

"Caring so much?" Hallie said, gently.

"Yes." I nodded, "Caring so much about how I feel. And reassuring me. I almost feel like I don't deserve it."

"Alina, you deserve it. You deserve all of the caring and reassurance in the world and more. I know that you get hard on yourself for the cheating situation with Jocelyn. But you were in such a terrible place mentally, and she was so terrible to you. You have to give yourself grace."

"I've been told so many times how horrible I am for it that I started to believe it." I said, "It makes me feel like I don't deserve the love you show me."

"I'll show you it no matter what- even if you don't think you deserve it. Because I know you do." Hallie said, taking my hand. "You know that I constantly think you're too good for me, right?"

"Why in the world would you think that?" I asked Hallie.

"Words from my family have stuck with me. Hurtful words. I never went to college like you, I barely graduated high school. I have no idea how I am going to maintain having a 'real world' job one day. I have these mental health issues that stop me from reaching my full potential. You are so strong, beautiful, and smart, Alina. The first time I saw you in person I couldn't keep my eyes off you. I sometimes worry that...I'm okay for you now, but as we get a little bit older, even in our mid twenties, that you'll want more." Hallie said. And I could tell in her voice that it was something she had been feeling for a while.

"Hallie, all of these things that you find to be flaws, are all reasons why I love you and want to be with you." I said, "You are unlike anyone I've ever met, in the best way possible. I don't love someone because they graduated college or have some high paying full time job. I love them for the person they are. Everything else we can figure out. As we get older, because yes- I do picture all of that with you."

Hallie gave me a soft smile that I could see in the dark room. "Sometimes I get nervous that you won't want to get married again because you were before. I hope you do...because I picture all of that with you, too."

"There were times after Jocelyn died that I would tell myself I would never get married again. That I wouldn't even date someone again. But deep down I knew that wasn't true." I said, "I just had to find the right person. And I am so lucky I did."

"You make me feel way too special." Hallie chuckled, "I'll never take that- or you- for granted."

I leaned over and gave Hallie a kiss on the cheek.

I am way too lucky.

A/N- I hope you guys don't kind chapters with a lot of dialogue between Alina and Hallie. I enjoy writing it. Thank you for reading. ❤️