Princess Charming (gxg)

Part 24

As the weeks in September went by, it was becoming glaringly obvious to me- I was in love with Hallie.

I had never found myself being so comfortable around someone. I always have a wall up. Even when I am not realizing it- I always have a wall up. I hate being vulnerable. And I find that I always have to maintain a certain hardness and emotionless demeanor around people. Even brother and Cora, even Victoria.

I knew where that came from- my parents. They hurt me- emotionally and physically- so much. I learned to not cry. I learned to just keep everything inside.

But with Hallie, I didn't have to. I could be myself around her. I could laugh freely with her. Be goofy around her. It was like I was finding my inner self again with her. Someone that I lost at a very young age. And getting married young didn't help with that.

Hallie knew my past though- and she didn't judge me for it. She seemed to get it- that my past was simply that- my past.

If only I knew after Jocelyn died that I was going to meet someone so amazing. Then I would've known that things were going to be okay- which is some tiny that I truly did not know.

Hallie was also extremely encouraging. I was always scared to tell Jocelyn certain plans that I had. If I wanted to literally do anything. Because she always had this way of making me seem small for it. But Hallie, on the other hand, always cheered me on.

For example, the second week of September, I decided to enroll in a 6 week certificate program to become a phlebotomist. Just while I was figuring out what I wanted to go back to school for.

But in all actuality- I didn't really need to make the money.

Hallie and I made thousands off of the video we posted on her birthday.

The morning after we posted it, I wondered if it was one giant mistake. I was completely on edge, and wanted Hallie to delete it. She was absolutely willing to- but money was already coming through. And we both knew we could use it.

"It's okay." she reassured me, "Thousands of people post videos like this each day. It's going to be okay."

After my initial freaking out I got over it. And we decided to film another video.

And then another.

And it somehow made us even closer. But we decided that most of the time when we hung out- it was going to have nothing to do with filming us or taking photos.

After my first day of my phlebotomy class, Hallie came to my house to sleepover. Felix and Cora thought she was very sweet- and they didn't care if she stayed in my room. Why would they? I was an adult.

As Hallie was on the way, I sat with Cora in the dining room while she ate some dinner.

"I'm glad that Hallie is coming over tonight." she said to me, "I love what she's done for you. Spiritually, and emotionally. It's like a new you, Alina."

I love what she does for me physically as well. But I won't say that.

"You think so?" I asked Cora.

She nodded, "Absolutely. The light has come back into those pretty eyes of yours. Plus, Hallie is a sweetheart. I wouldn't mind calling her my sister in law as well."

I felt my cheeks flush as I said, "Whoa! A bit fast there. No one is discussing marriage yet."

"You haven't even thought about it?" Cora gave me a knowing look, "I know marriage is a...tough subject. But are you opposed to getting married again?"

"No. I'm not opposed." I said, "But it wouldn't be for a long time. Hallie is only 21, I'm 23. Yes- I got married when I was 18. But I think I'd like to be at least 25."

"Oh, absolutely." Cora said, "I completely get that. You have all the time in the world, sister."

"It's not like I haven't pictured it though." I said, "Of course I want to get there one day."

Cora studied me for a moment and said, "Have you two said 'I love you' yet?"

"Uh, no. We haven't." I said.

"But you do love her, I assume?"

I felt my cheeks flush even more. "I do. I definitely love her."

"She probably is waiting for you to say it first." Cora said, "Hallie has helped open you up tons. But Alina, there is still part of you that is more closed off. She seems like she wears her heart on her sleeve a bit more."

"So you think I should tell her that I love her first?"

"If you feel comfortable with it." Cora smiled at me.

I kept thinking about it- and when Hallie and I were on a walk together outside in my neighborhood- I kept feeling like I had to say it.

"This is nice." Hallie was saying, "I'm usually not outside at 11 PM. I'm in my room, playing video games. The night has just begun for me."

I chuckled, holding Hallie's hand as we walked. "Honestly, neither am I. But I'm enjoying this, being able to go on a walk with you. Something about the air at night in the Fall is so...refreshing."

"I'm a little cold. But it's very nice." Hallie smiled at me.

That fucking smile.

I put my arm around Hallie and brought her in close to me.

"I'll warm you up whenever you'd like." I said to her, and Hallie giggled and smiled at me.

Tell her.

Tell her you love her, you pussy.

I was scared though. I hadn't told anything that I loved them since Jocelyn. And I didn't think that I would tell anyone else that again. What if it changes everything? Maybe I shouldn't do this.

But why the hell would telling my girlfriend that I love her change everything?

I still couldn't bring myself to tell Hallie as we walked. She talked to me most of the time until we got up to my bedroom.

She sat on my bed. We were still in our clothes for the day and had to change.

"I really appreciate you inviting me over to stay tonight, actually." Hallie said, "I wanted to get out of my house. My parents were bothering me earlier."

"Oh? You didn't tell me that." I said, sitting next to Hallie.

"Yeah." Hallie looked down, "I didn't want to seem like a downer. But my parents were on me about either going to college or finding a different job today. And I know one day I'll have to. But...I'm just not ready."

"You telling me things that are happening in your life doesn't make you a downer." I said, putting my hand on Hallie's, "I want you to tell me these things. I am here to listen to you."

"Sometimes I forget that there is someone in my life that does want to listen to me. And I don't say that in a self pity way. I just truly forget sometimes." Hallie said.

"Well...I love you, Hallie. And I want to listen to whatever you have to say. Even if you are uncertain about telling me. Even if you think there's no point."

There. I fucking said it.

Hallie smiled at me, and my heart skipped a beat. "I love you too, Alina. So much."

"You do?" I asked her.

What a dumb response.

"Of course I do!" Hallie laughed, "I almost told you on my birthday and slipped up. Multiple times, actually. But I didn't want to freak you out. I know things can still be hard for you."

"But you make things a whole lot easier for me." I said to Hallie, "I finally have found happiness, and I am not letting that go."

"Only took a couple of decades for both of us, huh?" Hallie chuckled.

I leaned in and kissed Hallie. She put her hands on my waist and kissed me back.

Please don't let anything change now. Please.