Princess Charming (gxg)

Part 41

TW: This chapter does contain some content about abuse.

When I woke up the next morning, everything came flooding back to me from the night before.

I am not ready to face this day.

The bed felt empty without Hallie beside me. She was literally in the next room over, but at the moment it felt like she was a thousand miles away.

I woke up earlier than I had been lately- at 9 AM. I knew Hallie would be asleep. I wondered what she did all night.

I just needed to see her. Be next to her. Make sure she was okay.

I went into the bathroom, brushed my teeth and washed my face, and then I went to the game room. I felt my heart pound as I lightly opened the door.

Hallie was sleeping. She was sleeping on her side facing the door, so I could see her. Her headphones were hanging off the bed. She was wearing a black tank top, and I could see that she hadn't washed off her makeup from the night before.

I could also see mascara stains on her cheeks.

She had been crying.

I should probably let her sleep.

As I turned around to leave the room, I heard Hallie's voice say, "Alina?"

I turned back around to see Hallie sitting up. "I'm sorry I woke you up." I said.

"It's okay." Hallie said back, "I barely slept. I don't even remember passing out. One moment it was 6 am, the next moment I am up."

I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, next to Hallie.

"I'm sorry." I said to Hallie, "I didn't want to make you upset."

"How can I not be upset, Alina?" Hallie looked at me. I could also see that her eyes were puffy. "I don't even know if we are together now."

I sighed. "I don't know how to navigate this. I just know that I don't want to put you through this."

"You're pushing me away." Hallie said. I could see her eyes filling up with tears again.

"I love you, Hallie." I said back, "I want to get better. For you. For us."

"But you don't want me to be there in the process." Hallie said, looking down. I saw tears rolling down her cheeks and once again I felt absolutely horrible.

I never thought I would be saying the words that came out of my mouth. But I found myself saying, "Maybe I should navigate this on my own for a while."

Fuck, Alina. Why are you doing this? Stop thinking you need to face everything alone.

Seeing Hallie break down in front of me after I said that killed me on the inside. She put her head in her hands and started sobbing quietly. I closed my eyes for a second, and a few tears escaped my eyes.

When I opened my eyes, Hallie was wiping her eyes with her sleeve, her breathing hitched.

I couldn't help myself, I reached over and pulled Hallie in for a hug. She held on tight to me and buried her head into my shoulder.

"I am so sorry." I said to Hallie softly, "Please know that I don't want this to be the end for us."

Hallie then slowly pulled away and said, "It can't be."

"You can still stay here of course." I said to Hallie, "I would never ask you to leave."

"I can't stay here." Hallie said, "At least not for now. Being around you, staying in your house when we aren't together? I can't do that, Alina. It would be too hard for me."