Overkill // Joseph Quinn

7- the real beginning

I woke up to over 10 phone calls this morning, well more like afternoon.

I spent most of my night trying to figure out what I wanted. What I wanted to do with myself after work, with life in general. I kept trying to do new things like cleaning new areas of my apartment, going out to buy decoration for my balcony, and even walked down the streets to find some inspiration. I quickly got bored with cleaning, the decorations are nice but I don't know how that'll change anything, and I found absolutely nothing on my walk. I had eventually realized it was 4 a.m and just went to sleep, now it's 12:30 and I slept through most of my sessions and now decided to just stay home for the day.

Saturday's were short work days for me, which allowed me more time during the day to pretty much sit at home and find something to do. Jo and I would usually do something right after work, but considering the missed calls I slept through that too.

I stretched my body out while still laying in bed, Dixie still slept at the end. I scrolled through the messages Jo had sent me, which were all of him yelling at me to answer him. I sighed and pressed on his contact to return his calls.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Jo immediately started chewing me out.

"I over slept, I didn't even go into work today." I rubbed my eyes and stretched once again which woke Dixie. She jumped onto my stomach and suddenly went back to sleep.

"Well, we need to do something today. Even though you've already wasted most of it." I could hear his sheer disappointment over the phone, making me almost want to laugh.

I really didn't feel like going out after the long night I had, but I also didn't want to stay stuck in my place. I know Jo wouldn't take no for an answer, unless it was a good one.

"I still have work to do, sorry." I shrugged but soon realized he couldn't see me. It's funny how I act a certain way around him and I still do it when he can't even see me.

"What about later in the evening?" His pushing was unexpected, making me suspicious.

"I'll let you know." I responded shortly to receive a long, strung out sigh.

"See ya, lazy butt." He ended the call on a light hearted note and I forced myself out of bed.

"What to do, what to do." I tapped my chin in deep thought as I found myself inside my studio.

I scanned the cluttered room, which seemed to get even messier by the day, and took a seat at my desk. I opened my laptop to check my emails, nothing. I huffed out a breath of air and went to my music folder that held all my work.

I came across my most recent song that I couldn't seem to get out of my head. It's probably been over a year since I released any of my own music. There wasn't a particular reason why, I just never felt like any of my work deserved to be put out to the world for others to hear. Some were too personal, while others were all over the place and almost incomplete.

I listened to my recent song, once again, finding new things to add or take out. This kept me busy, and I was glad to have music in my life for some sort of distraction to take me away from my boredom. I wouldn't call it a distraction because it was something I truly enjoyed and was good for me, but it really did do the job by taking away all my other thoughts and solely focusing on the music.

I finished up nitpicking at the song and decided to leave the room to eat for the first time today. I finished my poorly made oatmeal and cleaned up the kitchen a little. I took my time, trying to make the day go by faster.

Jo had called again, asking if I was still working. I had no more lies to tell so I told the truth, making him already start with the planning for our night.