Overkill // Joseph Quinn

48

Joseph decided to tag along with me to the studio. I'm excited for him to see me at work, he seems to feel the same.

I walk in to my usual room and feel comfort. I haven't been here since we worked on Felicity. It feels so good to be back, I just wish Jo was here to help.

"This is a lot bigger than I imagined." Joseph admires the room and starts asking questions about what each button does for the recording booth.

I show him around a bit more and gather all the equipment I need for today. I mapped out a few things before I came today to be prepared. I only have up to 3 hours this morning to get stuff done.

I start with some production to align with the melody and lyrics, as usual. Once I get a good feel of what sound I'm wanting I start putting it all together.

"Do you wanna help me record? I promise it's not as hard as you think." I tease, beginning to show him what buttons need to be pressed while I record some vocals.

He catches on quickly, sending me a few winks to show off his confidence. I create signals to direct what needs to be done in order to save certain clips.

"I think I should do this as a side hustle." He jokes, but he really does seem to be enjoying this.

I start meshing the vocals with the instrumentation and feel my body warm up with excitement. With only spending about an hour on this, I'm really proud of what's been accomplished.

Another 45 minutes roll by with layering more vocals and changing some minor things to make it all finally complete.

"You did really good." I compliment Joseph.

I'm sat in the chair in front of my laptop and feel his arms snake around my shoulders, resting his head on top of mine.

"I love seeing you at work." He melts me.

I feel my cheeks boil and thank myself for sitting away from him so he doesn't see how bright red they are. I lean my head back in his chest and sit there for a while, taking it all in.

We head back to my apartment and start figuring out which clip I want to release to the public. I sent the full song to Drew as well as Jo, they both loved it. I love incorporating a rock-like sound to my music, I wish I did it more often.

I spend about a solid 15 minutes trying to find the perfect snippet but become stumped. Joseph notices.

"What about this?" He asks, pulling out his phone and hits record on a video.

He recorded me on the laptop putting everything together. I smile like an idiot, loving the vibe and loving the fact he felt the need to record this moment.

"I love it. It's perfect, actually." My excitement grows again, something he enjoys to inflict. I get ahead of myself when I lifted myself off the couch to straddle his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck in an embrace.

He stiffens and it makes me instantly uncomfortable. I lean away from him to see his face but he's smiling ever so slightly.

"Is this okay?" I ask reluctantly.

He pulls me back into him, feeling more confident in his gesture.

"Of course it's okay. I could stay like this forever."

****

I meet up with Maya at the place she's staying in L.A. I've missed her so much, I feel like I'm about to explode. We've planned our evening out and deemed it as 'a much needed girls night.' I agree entirely.

"I released a snippet of a song I'm about to finish earlier. I think people are really liking it." I mention, shoving a piece of food into my mouth.

"That's exciting! I'm surprised I haven't heard it yet. Tell me all about it." She rests her chin on her hands to show her interest, it makes me laugh.

We talk briefly about the song and other things relating to music. I love how we have the same taste yet it's different at times. It makes talking about it so much more entertaining.

"What else do you have in that magical journal of yours. I'm sure it's only good stuff." She pushes, but not in a bad way, but she probably thinks so by my immediate reaction.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to pry." She grabs my hands from across the table briefly and apologizes.

"No it's not that. I just haven't found myself writing that much except for one other song. I don't think I could ever release it though." I refer to '8,' which I can't seem to get out of my mind.

She brushes it off and changes the subject to something lighter. We talk about our family and how I'm trying to rebuild a relationship with my own. We go deeper into it without noticing how long we've been in the restaurant. The room begins to slowly clear as closing time comes.

We finally leave and begin our walk back to her place, picking up where we left off on conversations.

"How about I send you that song I was talking about earlier?" I suggest, still feeling bad about how that conversation went.

She nudges into me, knocking me slightly off balance, "Yeah, sure."

I stop and look at her questionably, "Why do you say it like that?"

"Because you most likely won't."

I keep the same expression on my face but it soon bleeds into a smirk, and then laughter, that we both share.

"You're most likely correct." I reply.

****

I did end up sending Maya the song even though it's not fully finished. I feel comfortable letting her see this side of me. After all, that's what song writing is for. Feeling and expression vulnerability just comes with it.

Joseph greets me as I walk into my apartment. He asks how the night went and I told him all about it.

"I'm glad you had fun." He says, placing a soft kiss on the top of my head.

I change into some comfier clothes and meet him on the couch to watch a movie.

Today was good, really good. People seem to be liking 'Lonesome & Mad' and it's making me fall more in love with it. It does worry me about my family hearing it and feeling guilty, or maybe worse, angry. I'd hate to rehash old feelings or resentment, but like I said before, feeling and expressing vulnerability just comes with song writing. It can hurt both the writer and the people involved.

I can't let that stop me though, which is contradictory because I'm reluctant about doing anything serious with '8.' I think that's just a whole new level of vulnerability.

Especially because those feelings are still there.

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the next two chapters will be a bit shorter than usual,, buttttttttt it's just a build up for what's coming

i'm so pumped to enter this part of the writing process. i've had it planned out for a hottt minute

<3