Overkill // Joseph Quinn

20- enlighten me

I regret not taking that jewelry box with me.

Dixie is my go-to comfort when everything goes wrong. The last time this many bad things happened to me in a short period of time is when I first moved to L.A. Drew had paid for my housing, which is still the same apartment I live in now. I had to start all the way over considering I barely had anything to bring with me in the first place. It took me two years to completely furnish my apartment; when I first got here and got settled all I had was an air mattress, my guitar, and my cell phone. I felt like I was at my lowest but also had so much hope for the reasons I'd been brought here.

I feel like I still remain with some hope, I think. I already contacted Ross and Matt and told them I wasn't feeling well and wasn't going to be able to come back for a while. I was supposed to fly out tomorrow but now my things remain unpacked and I still remain in my pjs in front of my tv with Dixie.

Having to readjust to things so many times in my life so far is exhausting. It feels like every time I feel like I'm where I need to be, the course changes entirely. The only thing I have left is my music and Dixie.

And now a surprising ring of my doorbell.

I pause the tv but still sit in the same spot. I have no idea who it would be considering nobody here in L.A likes me anymore. That's a bit harsh, but nobody surely thinks highly of me.

I get up from my seat when the bell rings again. I should have never installed that thing, knocking is less annoying. I lift up the handmade curtain for the peep hole and squint to make out who's at my door. I've never been good with seeing facial features through this thing, it was always the same people coming over so it was easy to tell. Well, mainly a single person. This figure has longer hair though, I don't remember having anybody who knows where I live being a female.

I slowly crack open the door, leaving the chain lock in place. The figure turns around, causing her hair to flip around dramatically. My eyes go wide as my breath gets hitched in the back of my throat.

"Sara?"

She greets me with a small smile and a shy wave. I look side to side of the hallway through the little bit of range I have before closing the door again. I unlatch the lock and finally open the door fully.

"How did you find where I live?" I asked with my arms crossed in defense. I don't see a single reason why she's here right now.

"I kinda followed you here earlier. I just wanted to see if you were okay but I stopped myself. Now I just can't stop thinking about what happened so I had to come over and I hope you don't min-"

I lift my hand up to stop her rant and step to the side for her to enter. She hesitates to walk in like she's entering a strangers home. It kind of feels like that, Sara and I have never really been close at least not recently.

She looks around the apartment in awe. It reminds me of the first time Joseph came over and had the same reactions. I push the vision out of my mind to avoid another breakdown.

"This is really nice, Eden." Sara turns to smile at me before looking around again. She's quick to spot Dixie, just like Joseph, and immediately crouches down to greet her, like Joseph.

"That's Dixie." I say, just like I did to Joseph.

She ruffles around with her fur and stands back up again to face me. She seems worried? Scared? Confused? Maybe all of the above. She does have a strangely large bag around her shoulders. I hope she doesn't think she's going to stay here. I don't know if I'd mind it, considering I don't really know what it's like living with her now. It would just be really awkward.