Welp Garmy isn't dead anymore so.... *turns him alive again*
Also it is canon that Wu and Garmadon have been around for thousands of years. So I thought I'd experiment with the idea a little bit.
Enjoy!
____________
Garmadon: Guys look what I found in the attic! A whole recollection of me and Wu's childhood!
Kai: We have an attic?
Jay: What?! I hate attics!
Garmadon: Shut up freckle boy no one cares. Anyway here's a picture of me and Wu at our first witch burning. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. I think it was 1456 when this was taken.
Wu: No it was 1448.
Garmadon: Whatever it was, we were so young in this... We were only 1203!
Wu: No we were 1287 years old.
Garmadon: Stop ruining the mood bootleg James Charles!
Cole: Woah, you're 1287? But you look so... young.
Wu: What's that supposed to mean!? I'm still very fit you know!
Nya: Sensei, why was the which being burned?
Wu: She flashed her ankles to our father.
Garmadon: Yeah and when she was being burned, she flashed her knees to us.
Wu: I still remember how quickly father hid our eyes.
Cole: Gosh the medieval days were crazy-
Lloyd: Ooh look what I found! Its that poodle hair person!
Garmadon and Wu: *Demonic screeching*
Jay: Lloyd run-
Wu: How dare my own blood insult Mozart like this!
Garmadon: This is why I'm more emotionally attached to plants than I am to you.
Kai: Oh my First Spinjitsu Master! You managed to get your portrait painted with Mozart!?
Wu: Why yes we did. I still remember how father disapproved of his music saying that it was an insult to traditional Ninjago music. He was very old fashioned.
Garmadon: Once we snuck away to attend one of his concerts and got his autograph! Father was so angry.
Kai: And you say that kids these days are rebellious.
Wu: *bonks Kai*
Garmadon: Look! It's a cave painting of us as toddlers! This was painted in 103. We were only 109 at the time!
Pixal: *short circuits* did you say 109, in the year 103?
Wu: Ooh and here's a celestial projection of Me, Garmadon and Father with the big bang!
Jay: How long have you guys been around for?!
Zane: This is physically impossible!
Kai: Um... Physics did not exist back then. It was created shortly after Einstein created gravity! Everyone learns this in preschool!
Nya: Every word of what you just said wrong.
Kai: Oh sorry! It was Picasso that made gravity! Not Einstein!
Nya: *facepalm*
Lloyd: Guys, I found a picture of dad with this giant lizard!
Wu: What is wrong with you Lloyd. That's a dinosaur.
Kai: Pfft. He clearly doesn't know his mammals.
Nya: Dinosaurs aren't mammals.
Garmadon: *gasp* ANDERSON! He was my very first pet! Oh I miss him so much, me and him would always prank Wu together. Like that one time when we filled his part of the cave with feathers-
Wu: That was you?! I knew it! *pulls out Ouija board*
Chicken: Cluck cluck (The hell is he doing?)
Wu: *summons First Spinjitsu Master* Father, I told you it was him! He was the one who filled my part of the cave with feathers!
FSM: Oh my self! You are now ruining my eternal rest, the hell is wrong with you.
Wu: Father, Garmadon feathered my part of the cave!
FSM: The cave? Oh the cave! From back when architecture wasn't a thing! Yeah that happened. Sick prank kid. *goes back to departed realm*
Garmadon: HAHA-
Wu: I will have you know that I have trapped Christophern in a dark box with little access to any sort of light.
Garmadon: WHAT?! But he won't be able to photosynthesis! He'll starve!
Lloyd: *cries* Dad never cared about me this way!
Cole: Plants can get hungry?
Nya: Technically I guess?
Zane: Cole, I know what you're thinking. No, please do not place pieces of cake in our plant pots. Placing them in a lighted area will be enough to satisfy their "hunger".
Cole: Thank god! Now I don't have to feel guilty whenever I eat something in front of a plant!
Lloyd: *still crying*
Garmadon: Shut up Lloyd, your brother is dying!
Pixal: Zane, sometimes I wish I stayed dismantled and you never found me.
Zane: Rest in peace.
Pixal: What?
Zane: You know how peaople say 'RIP' in text messages whenever someone says something sad or sarcastic? I'm doing just that!
Pixal: ok.. I think its best if you try to stop picking up modern slang.
Zane: Bruh plus Ratio.
Pixal:....
YOU ARE READING
Quarantined (ninjago edition)
RandomHave you ever wondered how the ninja would be doing in Quarintine? Well you came to the right book! For starters there will be no bad words... Kai in the background: WHO THE F*** TOOK MY F***ING HAIR GEL?! Jay: DON'T F***ING SWEAR YOU F***ING PEA...
