When I Saw You I Felt...

Mess Up

May 16th

Graduation was coming up and I was nervous. I didn't know what would happen.

I still had not gone back to my Dad's, and  I had saw on his facebook the wedding is in a month. I am probably not invited.

"Hey," Nathan said as he came into my room and hands me my cap and gown. He had gone to the school to pick them up.

"Thanks." I had gotten a white gown and Nathan had gotten a blue one. I guess it was by gender. stupid.

Nathan lays down next to me and plays with my hair. I know I have the whole summer with him but I know it will be diffrent when we go to college.

"I think I am going to go see my dad, make amends," I said as I sat up and looked him in the eyes.

"You should."

"Come with me," I add.

"You should go by yourself," he said softly.

I was nervous, I freaked out on him, big time I was just so angry.

The drive was only five minutes I knocked on his door in a cadence of four.

Anthony answers the door and raises one of his black eyebrows.

"Hey," I said in monotone.

"Dad!" Anthony yelled without saying anything back.

My father comes down and the stairs and slams the front door in my face.

"What the hell?" I yelled.

I stomped back to my car and began to cry, I was just so done with everything my dad had done. He didn't care when I told him I got into school, or when anything every happened to me in my childhood. He invited my mortal enemy in the house because he doesn't pay attention to anybody's life but his.

I began driving back to my mother's house but I park in a Target all the way in the back. I call Nathan hysterically crying.

"I'm coming wait for me." Nathan did not have a car so I was confused on how he would get there. I reach in the backseat and grab a pillow and cried.

Nathan came to my car window, he had walked all the way there. He took both of my hands and leads me out to the empty parking lot. It was sunset the sky was orange, purple and pink.

Nathan embraced me in his arms. "It's okay, I know he will forgive you."

"He won't though, I messed up every relationship I have," I say as I sobbed in his shoulder.

"You have me."

"I'll mess that up too."

"You won't. Trust me."

"I always do."

He moved me off his shoulder and made me look in his eyes.

"You won't, I love you."

"I love you too."

"F*ck all of the people who have screwed you over," he yells out in the parking lot. I laugh and Nathan makes me walk around the parking lot.

He held my hand as we walk in circles.

I was silently crying, trying to avoid Nathan seeing.

***

I woke up in the middle and moved Nathan's hand crossing my body. I walked to the living room to see my mom and her friend.

Then I saw them kiss. Holy sh*t.

I thought when my mom said going to her girlfriend's she meant her friend not her actual girl friend girlfriend. That's why my mom is happy.

"I'm sorry," my mom said as she turned over to me.

"No, no, it's fine I am happy for you two. Goodnight."

"Goodnight hun."

I walked back in my room and Nathan was awake.

"Where did you go?" he asked tiredly.

"Just to get water, but I saw much more," I explained.

"What did you see?"

"My mom and her new lover."

"Oh, that's cool," He said as he motioned me back to bed.

I laid down next to him and look up at the ceiling not feeling tired in the slighest. Nathan was playing with my hair.

"Let's go somewhere," I say as I sit up.

"It's four a.m."

"I know, I can't sleep."

"Fine," he said as he got up out of bed. He puts on a shirt and grabs my hand as he leads me out of the front door.

He drove us back to the tulip garden. He lead me to the grass patch, where we had our first kiss.

"I took you somewhere," He says as he sits across from me criss cross, the same as me. He moved a strand of hair behind my ear, and rubbed my cheek.

I grabbed his hand and kissed him. 

Nathan moved his hand to my hair and his hands were intertwined in the dark brown strands.