/ 𝘉𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦-𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘴／

／𝘉𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘓𝘦𝘵 𝘔𝘦 𝘎𝘰／

i've been wanting to do an angst and FINALLY got the inspiration to write one.

inspired - before you let me go by Declan Donovan (and hold on by Chord Overstreet)

GET YALLS KLEENEX OUT🤧

vance is 16 and bruce is 17, you'll find out why soon;)

WARNINGS: mention of death, suicide, and abuse.

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bruce's POV

a year.

a whole year i've been without you.

as i sit here and ponder about you, i wonder if your ghost is right beside me, holding me. sometimes it's a terrible nightmare i always think, but it's never ending.

the only times i get a break is when i go to sleep. i see you in my dreams and we go to a baseball game or to play pinball at the arcade.

but when i wake up, the reoccurring horrors of you not here haunts me every waking minute. i wish upon the stars you were with me, but i know you'll never return.

you don't know how many times i've prayed for your comeback. how many times i've almost shattered my vocal chords begging for you to come back to me. you're the reason my voice is now to a whisper and jagged.

this life without you is near enough to hell anyone would be mistaken for it.

you would be so disappointed in me.

i quit the baseball team, everyone tried to convince me to stay. but i just couldn't. everything reminds me of you.

the stands, where you'd yell the loudest for me; even when we were losing. the field, where you'd spend countless hours pitching the ball to me.

i stopped hanging out with finney, he tried to contact me and so did robin. but yet i am a coward who doesn't have the will to face them.

but you'd also be happy, people don't talk bad about you anymore. they don't gossip in the hallways, but maybe because they're afraid i'll hear. those people pity us.

i fell behind in my studies, i'm not failing but i am now an A-B student. i don't socialize anymore, terrified it will bring back memories.

i never talk to anyone, not even my family. i tried for awhile, but i'm not strong enough. after so many attempts i shut myself away into what i am now.

everyday is the same now. wake up, go to school, come home, sleep, repeat. i feel i'm in a never ending cycle.

but there's always a way out of this cycle, but you wouldn't be happy with my choices. in fact, you wouldn't be at all pleased with me right now.

i just want you to know i'm trying.

so very hard.

third person POV

Bruce's alarm rang in his ears, waking him up from his dream. he shot up and gave the clock a nasty glare. his dream was perfect.

vance had taken bruce outside in the rain to dance, which is odd because that was something they had done multiple times before.

dragging himself out of bed, his small body shadowed the floor. bruce didn't bother to take care of himself anymore. what was the point?

going down the stairs, he met his mother at the kitchen table. she noticed his presence and forced a smile. "how was your sleep bruce?" she asked.

mrs. yamada knew the answer. she knew what her son had become. he was like an empty shell, with little to no remains of the life full with joy and sunshine. to save her soul for her boy, she watched old videos of him. and his videos with vance.