Depressed Peter parker

Three

Harry felt off the bed again and I woke up from this again.

"You okay?" I asked worried

"
Yeah I don't know why it always happens" he said and sat down on the edge of his bed

Me and Harry were In the same course so we went together to our lessons we  always sat next to each other. I saw Ned and mj a few times again they seemed save and happy. I missed them but I knew they saver when they don't know me. I mean I'm fine I found a new friend but I Still miss them and I know it won't get away.

After our lecture we walked to get pizza together. It was just five minutes away from the college.

"What for piazza you want?" Harry asked

"Pizza cheese what about you?"

"I think we just order a big party pizza and eat it together?!"

"Sounds nice we could go to our room with it and watch a movie or something"

Was that like did I asked him out? Or like no?

"Yeah sure" he said with a smile

Oh shit we will be together in a bed uh maybe he will see my wrist shit shit. But I covered them and I wear long sleeves there's no way he find out without rolling them up.

Our pizza came Harry payed for it when I was saying it's fine we share but he said he's rich so he can afford it it's no problem.

We went to our room

"I go to the bathroom" Harry said

I put the pizza on Harry's nightstand and changed in pyjama. Harry came out of the bathroom with a bloody tissues...MY bloody tissue...fuck
I looked at him and was scratching my arm nervously

"Do you want to talk about that?"harry asked looking at me worried

"It's just from my Noose bleed" I lied

He hold out a few more

Did he really looked in the trashcan and like grapped all of them out?

"No one has so much nosebleed"

"Uh..." I scratched my arm more nervously thinking of a lie to make up but couldn't think of anything

he hates me now don't he? I messed up

He stepped torwards me

"Can you give me you...sharp things?"

"How did you noticed that so fast?"

"I went through the same Peter..."

Just now I noticed scars on his arm from long ago

"Oh I'm sorry"

I didn't know what else to say

"Just let me help you I don't want you to do the same thing I did" Harry was now so near on me I could smell him. He smelled like coffe

I stayed silent

"Peter?"

"Yeah?"

"Where is it?"

The voice in my head again

Lie
What do you have to lose?
Just lie it's not that hard
You know you need it

The voice was right i had nothing to lose I needed it but for some reason i said to Harry that it was in my nightstand. I said the true. Harry went towards it and opened it he toke the blade from it. He looked at me worried

"Is there anything sharp you have?" He asked serious

Don't tell him
Don't
Tell
Him
He doesn't care he just wants you too feel bad

Stop I said to the voices in my head and nearly cried
Harry noticed that and hugged me. I hugged back

You could just steal the blade again
And you will feel better

I looked at the blade in Harry's hand
I could do it I thought. I reached for it but before I could grap it Harry went off me

"Peter..."

Oh he noticed

"I'm sorry"

"It's okay it's not your fault you can't anything for that"

"In the bathroom mirror and under my mattress"

Harry nodded and also grapped them then he left to throw them away. Now I was alone I looked in the room. There aren't anything sharp anymore. I cried

Your a failure
You're an embarrassment to Harry
You don't deserve friends
They all die anyway because of you
They in danger because of you
Harry is in danger now that he knows you and is your friend

"Please stop"   I accidentally screamed out loud and in the exact time of course Harry came

"I didn't meant to scream I'm sorry" I whispered

He sat down next to me

"Voices?" He asked

I looked at him suprised

"Like i Said i went through the same..."

"Yeah but you should go away from me" I said looking at the floor

"Why?"

"Everyone I know dies or get hurt" I say sobbing

"Peter...I won't leave you"

"But you will be in danger" I say now looking at him. In his eyes I saw that he wouldn't change his anweser

We looked at each other for a bit to long

Then I rememberd

"The pizza!!!"

It's definitely cold now

"Oh shit" Harry opened the pizza carton and toke one slice

"It's cold but still delicious so wanna watch Star Wars?" He asked and patted with a hand on his bed to gesture that I could go there and watch Star Wars with him and eat  cold pizza together.

That sounds a date but it isn't it's just what friends do I mean I watched Star Wars with Ned but not in the same bed okay when we younger but as we got older not anymore.  We watched it while sitting in the floor together. Star Wars reminds me of Ned but I accept that we can't be friends anymore

I layed next to Harry in his bed he turned his laptop on and put Star Wars on

The entire movie we didn't talked about it and that's good I just wanted to forgot everything. Forgot that I have no one left. forgot how I feel I just wanted to watch Star Wars. With Harry. I rested my head on his shoulder. We eat the whole pizza together. It was nice.  He likes Star Wars too. That's nice.