Depressed Peter parker

Twenty seven

„Hello Petey" Harry came into my room and kissed me

"how you doing?" I asked him

"fine college is fine but I miss you" he sat down

I can't go to college anymore my mental health wouldn't afford it also dad is scared because it's far Away and and when something happens he can't come immediately I miss being Harry's roommate

„I miss you too"

„how are you?" he asked

I don't want to lie to him but I also don't want him to be worried about me he should concentrate on college i can handle my problem alone or ignore it in either way he doesn't need to know but he helped me maybe I should  tell him? No he just will think I'm weak and  I'm being annoying

„I'm fine I don't see him anymore"  I lied

I actually see him scince the dream again and bucky's method just wouldn't work he just wouldn't disappear

Harry gave me a look „you sure?" he asked

"uhm don't worry"

"tell me if you want okay?

"Okay" I nodded

"what do you want to do babe?"

No...no not that name I thought it Bruns back bad memory's

"D-don't c-call m-me that" I stuttered

"I'm so sorry"

A flashback appeard again

Flashback begin

I was at flash place we watched something on his laptop when he closed it  and put it away and looked at me and he kissed I kissed back this time because I don't want to get hit again

"it's time for dinner" he said I nodded we went to the kitchen flash made pasta and put a plate with it in front of me „eat" he ordered but I just stared at it I wasn't hungry I didn't want to eat I just started at it

After 5 minutes where I just starred at the food flash spoke again „what is it babe? You don't like my food?" he asked

"n-no its n-not like that

"then eat"

"I can't" I looked up at him his face turned angry

"yes you can parker"

Oh oh I'm in trouble he called me after my last name

He stood up and walked torwards me he put the pasta on the fork „open up babe"

"p-please" I begged him

"open up Parker" He yelled and grabbed after my hair it hurt I forced to open my mouth he put the pasta in my mouth and closed it „swallow" he ordered  so I did „it wasn't this bad was it? now we do this until the plate is empty"

I shaked my head at this „pl-please" I cried

He put another fork of pasta on my mouth but I didn't open it this Time „oh come on this is just you fourth fork don't be like that!"

"I-I'm so-sorry"

"a sorry won't do it I'm afraid" he said

I knew what was about to come I shaked my head at this

„please fl-flash do-don't" I begged him but it was to late he already had his belt in his hands

"eat you meal next time babe and this wouldn't have happened" he began to hit me

It was 40 this time I thought it was over but It wasn't he pulled a knive out of his pocket

"n-no pl-please" I cried  but he ignore it like always and began to stab me

After fifteen stab wounds he stopped  he kissed my cheek "I hope you learned your lesson Peter"

I just wanted to die it all hurt so much

Flashback end

I don't Even know why I got together with him anymore I just remembered the bad things that happened

„Petey?" Harry asked

"I'm sorry just-just don't call me that" I said

"okay I won't I'm sorry" Harry nodded

Harry and me watched the death cure we where on the scene where newt was about to die but before Thomas pulled the trigger I closed the laptop

"what you doing?" Harry asked

"If we won't watch him die than he didn't die"

"that's actually smart"

"I'm smart"

we layed down just cuddling for a while 

Harry went home and I was alone with my thought again