Depressed Peter parker

Twenty one

Two months later...

I couldn't hide it anymore flash was everywhere I go college,home I saw him all the time and now it's worse I can't hide it anymore I feel like I'm dying inside and the voice flashes voice in my head won't stop either

"Pete please tell me what's wrong " dad said he noticed something was wrong with me I could feel that at his Look the look he only had when he was worried and sad

"nothing" I lied

"I saw you talk to someone who weren't there... please tell me the truth "

"I talked to Harry on the phone" I tried to call myself out of this but it was hopeless

"Pete I had your phone there you left it in the living room please stop lying" he said

flash voice popped up

You lie to your own father
How disappointing
You should be ashamed of yourself
He does everything for you and you lie to him
You don't derverse anyone

Flash was now standing in font of me "see? I was right you will always be a disappointment you deserved it and you back scar will remember you everyday that your nothing than a fucking disappointment" he said and he was right I am a disappointment I lied to my own father I lied to all of them for a long time I don't derserve them I'm a fucking disappointment it would be better if I'm not here anymore

"Pete you hear me?" Dad asked but I didn't listen to anything he said I just concentrate on flash maybe if I stare at him long enough he will disappear even though I knew this won't work it never did

"Pete come on tell me please I'm worried about you we all are" he cried

"I'm sorry" I hugged him

"we just want to help you please let us help you" he said and hugged me back

"but you can't dad you can't help me with it no one can" I said I have to deal with it myself like I did all the years too

"Peter tony told me something's up with you he thinks if I talk to you you might tell me what's wrong" Bucky said entering the room with French fries at least he is honest with me at least he doesn't lie that's why I like him that why he is my favorite uncle

"it's all fine" I lied

I could see flash behind Bucky smirking "liar" he said with his lips I just ignore it

Bucky gave me a worried look "Peter I know there's something okay? I can tell something's up with you and if you don't want to tell me what it is it's fine with me but please tell somebody what's troubling you or it eats you up trust me I know how that feels and I don't want you too feel the same way I once did " he said sitting down on my bed handing me a French fry which I toke and eat

"I'm sorry uncle Bucky I will tell someone maybe I tell you but then please don't be mad" I said 

I also could tell Harry about it but he was there once too and I don't want him to be worried he has his own problems he's just a teenager like I am I don't want him to be mad at me or something

"I won't I promise" he said and eat a French fry

I trust him that's why I told him everything I told him about what flash did even what I didn't told anyone I told him what he did I told him I hear his voice I told him I see him everywhere I go I told him  everything and by everything I mean everything even what i didn't told another soul about it he was the first one to know that flash weren't always my bully or he was but I once thought he loved me yes you heard  right I was once in a romantic relationship with flash Thompson I think he never thought we broke up... I don't want to say anything else about it at this moment

"Oh Peter...I'm so sorry I should have make him suffer I wish I could have been there for you I wish I could have protected you I'm so sorry" he said when I finished telling him everything

"well please don't tell dad that he was once my boyfriend" I wanted to throw up at the flashback that came around me calling him boyfriend and once again a flashback came up

Flashback begin

I was in flash's room we played on the PlayStation when he kissed me I was so suprised by this that I didn't kissed back and I could tell he was angry about this he looked angry at me I'm in trouble I thought

"I'm sorry" I said and tried to kiss him back but he already stood up

"Parker why do you make you live so hard?" He asked me

oh shit he called me by my last name that wasn't a good sign at the time

"please flash don't" I begged but he already hold the belt in his hands my back was full of bruises that didn't healed yet he just hit me yesterday because I ignore his texted well I was With mj and Ned and didn't showed at my phone but that wasn't an excuse for flash

He began to hit me I cried when it came to twenty hits

"please I beg you to stop"  I cried

"think next time Peter" he said and stopped hitting me he called me by my first name that means his anger was gone for now but not forever 

Of course I want to break up with him but I can't I'm to scared of what he will to do me when I do it maybe he would even kill me

Flashback end

And this was just  one of this harmless things he did to me

One day I broke up with him and it was bad but I think he didn't accept it and just pretended we were in a relationship anyway and bullying me because I broke up with him or tried to do it but I stopped spending time at his place but at school I couldn't escape him so yeah he made school feel like hell for me  maybe this was his way to express his love for me but I don't know for sure and I don't care anymore either

"I won't tell him but one day you have to tell him the truth Peter" Bucky raised me out of my thoughts

"I will thanks uncle Bucky" 

"do you see him now?" He asked 

I nodded I could see flash with his angry face "you told him? No one was supposed to know that!" He yelled at me

"he is right in font of me yelling at me" I said and pointed at flash but Bucky clearly just saw me pointing in the air

"why is he yelling?" "Because I told you about or romantic realtionship" I said

"close your eyes" he said and I did I closed my eyes "breath in and out think of something nice" Bucky said I breathed in and out thinking about Harry and the cafè or how we eat cold pizza while watching Star Wars I too thought about dad and the one time we worked in the lab together and I could help him and about Bucky he was there for me like no one else he eat with me he listened to me he watched movies with me I even did that he like Star Wars I thought about all that while bucky's voice was telling me to breath in and out "now open you eyes do you still see him?" He asked I opened my eyes I looked through the room but I didn't see flash anymore

"it worked" I said

Bucky smiled at me "just do this when you see him again okay?"

"Yes thank you" I said 

Bucky helped I don't see flash for now