The Shadow Sholdier

It's the bare minimum

I've read the files and was surprised about myself. How could Hydra even manage to kidnap me? I mean, I was one of the best S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents.
It happend and I can't change it.
I sigh and look at my phone.
It's already 5.36pm.
The files were longer than I thought.
I look outside of the big windows.
I'm absolutely in love with this view.
It somehow matches the music I'm hearing.
I stand up and walk to them, I stare outside when it suddenly knocks again.
„Come in." I say and take out one of the earphones while turning to the door.
It opens and I see Bucky.
„Oh, hey."
„Hey."
„Is everything alright?" I ask and take the other earphone out.
„Yeah, of course. I just wanted to check on you." he answers, closes the door behind him and walks in. „Steve told me that you were upset."
He looks into the bathroom with the, still, bloody floor.
„I was." I say and look outside again.
„Ok, good." he says and stands next to me.

We look out of the window.
I stare at the clouds.
„Have you seen a rainbow yet?" he asks.
„Yeah, it rained before. It looked absolutely beautiful."
He smiles slightly.
„Yes it does."
I look at him.
„Why'd you come here? I guess you didn't just come because Steve told you, did you?" I ask.
„You got me." he grins at me. „No, but you know, I wanted to tell you my story. I thought it maybe help you cause our stories are quite similar."
I nod.
„Let's sit down then." I say and sit on the bed.
Bucky sits to me.
„So, how'd that happen?" I ask and point at the arm
„It all began with Steve and me joining the military in the 1940s, then he became Captain America. Some soldiers, including me, were captured by Hydra. It was a organisation, basically Nazis, and they did experiences with me, brainwashed me etc. But Steve came and saved us. Then we were on a mission together and that mission was on a moving train." he begins to tell.
„In the 40s? Wow, that's been a while."
„Yes indeed. When we were on this train I fell off it and Hydra collected me. I lost my left arm through the fall but they replaced it with a metal arm and made me a super soldier."
Hydra.
I hate to hear this.
But I gotta act like I don't know about all this.
„I was most of the time in a cryo chamber and when I wasn't, I was meant to kill people. Finish my mission." he says and gets a little bit quieter.
„But you didn't have a choice, did you? I mean you were brainwashed."
I look at him.
He understands me.
„Yes, many people didn't believe me, mostly because I had trigger words. I was still the Winter Soldier."
It is him.
I have seen him before with that grey metal arm and the red star on it.
I've seen him at the Hydra base.
„That guy that killed so many people and remebers all of them."
I was about to say ‚yep same' but I luckily didn't.
„I'm sorry." I say.
„You don't have to."
„But how did you break through the brainwash thing?" I ask.
„Steve. He brought Bucky back." he answers and smiles slightly.
„How?"
„Because he remembered me of who I am."
I look at the files that lay next to me.
„He remembered you.." I whisper and take them. The first picture in the files is a picture of me at the age of 19.
„Of who you are.." I say quietly and stare at the picture. „But I don't know who I am."
He looks at me.
„I'm nobody, a shadow, a mistake in the system."
„God, don't say that." Bucky says.
My eyes fill with tears again.
„But it's true."
„No it's not."
Tears run down my cheeks and drop on the files.
He takes them out of my hands.
„Hey.. look at me."
He takes my hands.
„You are somebody. You are Y/N Carter, S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent and now a Avenger."
I look at him.
He hugs me.
„I came to make you feel better, not to make you cry." he says calmly.
I hug him tighter.
„I'm sorry." he says.
„It's alright. You tried to help me, not many people did." I answer as I slowly let go of him.
I wipe the tears away.
„Thank you."
„No need for thanking, that's the bare minimum."
„I wish it was." I say under my breath.
„It is." he whispers and looks at me. „Here it is."
I smile slightly.
„That's better." he says.
I look at the files.
„You read them?" he asks.
„Yeah. As dumb as it sounds, but it was pretty interesting to learn about myself." I answer.
„I think you'll find yourself soon."
„I hope so."
„You will surely, I made it too."
He looks at me.
„You're pretty good at comforting and building up people."
„I've been through much and I want the peops around me to feel good or even better than myself."
„That's really sweet of you."
„I'm just trying my best."
„Don't we all just do that?" I say and look out of the window. „Try our best, that's mostly the only thing humans can do."
„It is."
I stare outside the window.
It's getting dark.
„The lights will turn on soon." I say.
„The city looks beautiful when all the buildings light."
„Especially with the sunset in the background."
„It's your second night here, isn't it?" he asks.
„Yes. I'm glad that you guys were welcoming me so well. I thought y'all would hate me after I came back after 6 years. But most of you didn't even know who I am and those who did, had reactions that were a mix of confused, disappointed and happy."
„Well I didn't know who are and I still don't really do, but you seem like a really nice person."
That puts a smile on my face.
„I don't know who I am neither, but thank you. You're really helping me right now."
„That's what I came for, not only Steve telling me you were upset."
„He is a mom." I say and laugh.
„Of course he is!" Bucky laughs with me.
We talked a while.

Until 9pm.
„It's late, I'm going to my room and sleep. Tomorrow is a normal day, but you never know if you're going on a mission or not. That's why it's important to go to bed early." he says and stands up.
„Thank you again for cheering me up." I say and look at him.
„There's still no need to, it's normal here."
„I know, sorry."
„Also, no need to say sorry all the time."
„Yeah."
He walks past the bed.
„Sleep well, Y/N." he says and walks to the door.
„You too." I say and look at him.
He nods and leaves my room.

I stand up and go to the bathroom.
The floor's still bloody.
It looks like a mess.
Luckily I don't have big scares on my hands, just some little scratches.
I take a towel and clean it up.
I wash it out and hang it over the heating next to my bed.
Outside it's dark.
The sun went down and now the lights of all the apartments shine.
„Wow." I say and look outside.
I don't know why it amazes me that much, but it does.
It's 9.30pm.
I should probably go to bed.
I look at it.
The files lay there, I take them and put them on the nightstand.
I quickly change myself and lay in the bed, looking at the city lights.
I set a alarm for 7am.
After watching the buildings and stars for a while, I fall asleep very soon.