The Shadow Sholdier

24th of August

I wake up.
It's 6.20am.
Well that wasn't a long night.
I sit up and yawn.
It's sunny outside.
I get up and go into the bathroom.
Without looking into the mirror, I take a shower, brush my teeth and dry my hair.
I walk into my room again, take a crop top and some shorts out of my dresser and put it on.
It's pretty comfortable.
I sit on my bed and take my phone.
It's 6.45am now.
No messages or something.
I'm a little hungry, Ima just go to the kitchen.
I put on my shoes, take my earphones and leave my room.
Noones in the hallways.
Is someone already up?
I get invisible and go to the lifts.
I try to be as quiet as I can, I don't wanna wake anyone up.
As I get to the lifts, I get visible again and step in one to go down to the kitchen.

I walk into the kitchen/common room.
Nobody's here.
They're still asleep.
What day is today?
I take a look at my phone and see that it's Sunday.
I'm very early.
I shrug, put on my earphones and grab something to eat.
I walk to the deck and sit on the same edge as last night.
The sun is still rising.
I watch it.
While I eat, I listen to a playlist I made myself.
I look out for the moon, it's still a little recognizable.
I finish eating, stay here, waiting for someone to wake up.

My playlist was played through completely once, which means half an hour passed.
It's 7.55am.
I turn around and see noone in the common room.
They're still asleep?
Is Sunday like a day off?
If it is like that then it's gonna be boring.
I walk in again and sit on the couch.
I decide to text Natasha: „Morning Nat, is Sunday like a day off for you guys? I'm the only one here."
I'm sitting here alone and on my phone.
I don't mind, I like being alone.
It's so quiet, noones here.

After a while I hear steps.
I look over my phone and see Natasha walking in.
„Morning Y/N." she says.
„Hey.. did you get my text message?" I ask.
„Yeah."
„And?"
She joins me on the couch.
„I wouldn't call it „a day off" but we usually don't have any missions on Sundays and we also don't train." she explains.
„Oh ok."
„Why are you up so early?" she asks.
„I just woke up. I can't continue sleeping when I was up once. And I thought you guys are here." I answer.
„Yeah well, you didn't know."
I shrug.
„It's alright."
She stands up.
„I guess you already ate something?" she asks.
„Yep."
„Ok, Ima eat now. You want something again?"
„No thanks, I'm not hungry anymore."
She nods and walks to the kitchen.
„And what do we do today?" I ask as she comes back.
„I don't know, maybe we'll just stay here, maybe we'll do something else." Natasha answers.
„Ok"
She eats some cereals.
I look at her.
„Hm?"
She stops eating.
„I was thinking yesterday before I slept."
„About what?"
„Do I mean so much to you?" I ask.
She looks at me in disbelief.
„You did not just ask that question." she says and puts the bowl on the little table. „You mean so unbelievably much to me. I felt so guilty when you were gone. You mean the world to me."
„I do?" I ask hesitatly and look at her.
„Of course!" she responds and hugs me. „You're one of the best things that ever happend to me, not gonna lie."
I smile softly.
She let's go of me.
„You shouldn't feel guilty for things that are not your fault." I say.
„I know, but I still do." she responds. „It's not so important what I feel-."
„It is." I interrupt her.
She looks at me.
„It is important what you feel and what you think, do, say. You are important." I say.
Natasha doesn't say a word, she just looks at me.
„Clint always tells me that." she says. „He always says that I'm important, especially to him."
„And he's right."
„He is.."

Steve walks into the room.
„Morning Ladies." he says.
Natasha instantly takes the bowl and acts like we didn't just talked about her.
„Good morning."
Steve takes an apple and sits down on the couch.
„Why are you up so early?" he asks.
„Y/N didn't know that we usually sleep in on Sundays." Natasha answers.
„I'm sorry, I could've told you." he says and looks at me.
„It's fine, I was awake anyway." I respond.
„Oh ok."
They continue eating.

We chatted for a bit.
„Does Clint show up tomorrow?" Natasha asks.
„Normally yes, I'd know if he doesn't." Steve answers.
„Ok."
„Why?" he asks back.
„Y/N hasn't met him before." Nat responds.
„You're right."
„I'll text him later." she says.
I look at her.
„What about Thor?" Steve asks.
„He's on Asgard I think." Natasha answers.
„What's Asgard?" I ask.
They look at me.
„Oh yeah right, well Asgard is the place where Thor lives. He's a god." Steve explains.
„Mhm." I say and nod.

We continued talking.
„And what are we doing today?" I ask.
„Probably not many things, Sunday's kinda a break from everything. So just do what you want." Steve answers.
I nod.
Natasha and Steve talk about something, I stopped listening at „Mission from 4 months ago".
I'm on my phone.
Sharon texted me, she asked what we're doing today.
I text her back: ‚Nothing much actually, just take a day off.'
She writes: ‚I wish it was so easy with my job.'
‚Btw, how's your mission going?' I ask her.
‚Pretty good.' She responds.
‚I'm glad.'
Then she stoped texting.
Sharon had to go on I guess.
I look up again and listen to their conversation again.
„That mission a long time ago." Steve says.
„Only a year." Nat says and looks at him.
„But it still feels like it was yesterday." he responds.
„Or maybe you have alzheimer." she says and smirks.
„Not funny." Steve says and rolls his eyes.
„For me it is."
„I'm gonna go up to my room." I say and stand up.
„Ok." Natasha responses.

I walk out of the kitchen to the lifts.
The doors open and Wands is standing there.
„Oh, Hey Wanda." I say.
„Good morning Y/N."
We walk past by eachother and I go into the lift.
The door closes and it goes up.
Meanwhile I put my headphones in my ears and start a playlist.
I look in the mirror in the lift.
Why do I look so tired?
Well I may or may not have not slept enough, but still.
I've never ‚looked tired'.
I sigh.
The lifts door open and I walk out to my room.
In the same second I unlock the door of my room, Bucky walks out of his.
I look at him.
„Morning Buck!" I say and smile.
„Good morning Y/N."
He comes up to me.
„Have you slept well?" he asks.
„Well kinda, a little short but it's alright." I answer. „How about you?"
„Same as you, I just couldn't fall asleep."
„I know how that's like, it's terrible."
He looks at me.
„Are the others in the kitchen?" Bucky asks.
„Yes, they are." I respond.
„Ok."
He walks off.
I open my door and step inside.

I sit down on my bed.
It's 9am now.
What am I supposed to do today?
Natasha said they don't train and don't go on missions.
They have a break.
I've never had a break.
I look outside.
The same way I did the days before.
I'm here for not even a week and they already trust me. I would never trust someone so incredibly fast. They probably see the Y/N they knew, not the Shadow Soldier.
Why?
Why did Hydra had to take me and ruin my life?
I fall onto my bed and look at the ceiling.
How was it even possible for them to capture me?
I take my phone and text Natasha: ‚Hey, I was just wondering, on what date was I gone?'
Nineteen.
I was nineteen when they captured me.
Six years have passed and I'm a Avenger now.
That's a delvopment.
I sigh and turn to the side.
I look outside.
It's quite sunny.
I don't know what to do.

Half an hour passed.
Meanwhile Natasha texted back: ‚It was on the 24th of August, it was a sunny day.'
‚Ok thanks.'
24th of August.
That's the day that changed my whole life.
Wow.
She must hate that date.
I lay down again and close my eyes.
The music is so calmly that I fall asleep.