The Shadow Sholdier

Sharon Carter

I walk in and put the bag next to my desk.
I throw the phone and bottle on the bed.
There's a note on my pillow:
‚Your welcome for the mirror, just please don't destroy it again. -Tony'
I walk in the bathroom and there's a new mirror.
It's the same as before.
I see a person in it.
A woman.
More of a machine, not physically but mentally.
I've killed.
I've murdered.
I've done horrible things.
That wasn't me.
That wasn't Y/N.
That wasn't this pure soul.
That was the Shadow Soldier.
I have a love-hate relationship with this name.
It's bad what I did under this name but still, it's the only name I had for 6 years.
I didn't know my real name, they took it.
All this won't be fixed instantly, but it will be and I'm looking forward to it being fixed.
I sigh and open my hair.
I undress and take a shower.
My thoughts luckily disappear.
I hurry and look in my dresser for clothes.
There's a jeans and a nice shirt, I'm just gonna wear that.
I dress myself, blow dry my hair and hang my towel over the heating.
I take my phone.
It's 3.43pm.
I still got a bit of time.
I sit down and put my earphones in.
Natasha's playlist starts playing and I enjoy the view again.

My phone lights up.
A message from Steve:
„Hey Y/N, Sharon will be here in less than 15 minutes. You can come to us in the common area."
I text him back:
„Ok, I'll come down."
I smile.
They're so nice.
Especially Steve.
I put on my shoes and walk out of my room.
In the lift I take off the earphones and tuck it in my pocket.

I walk to the common room.
Steve and Bucky sit on the couch.
„Hey Y/N."
„Hi guys."
I sit to them.
„Are you exited to see Sharon?" Steve asks.
„A little bit, I can't remeber her so.." I respond. „But I think she is."
„She definitely is." he says.
I smile softly.
Bucky's heart is pounding a little bit faster.
„Are you alright?" I ask and look at him.
„Yeah, I'm fine." he answers. „Why?"
„Just wondering."
„Mhm."
My phone lights up.
I take it in hand.
Natasha texted: „If you wanna continue talking about it, you can always come to me or text me."
I write back: „Thanks, I'm very grateful for that. I'll text you later, Sharon will be here soon. But yeah, I'd like to talk about it. Maybe this evening?"
I look up again.
Steve and Bucky continued talking about something.
I just listen and stare outside.
This lasts 3 minutes.
„I'm gonna get something to drink, you want something?" Steve asks.
„Water please." Bucky says.
„And you?" he looks at me.
I shake my head.
„Alright."
He walks to the kitchen.

„Вы знаете, что я слышу ваше сердцебиение." I say.
(You are aware that I can hear your heartbeat.)
„Я знаю. Но чего я не знаю, так это откуда ты знаешь, как говорить по-русски?" he responds.
(I know. But what I don't know is, how do you know how to speak Russian?)
„Ну, у всех нас есть свои секреты, не так ли, милый?"
(Well, we all have our secrets, don't we sweetheart?)
He smirks.
„да, и я думаю, что у вас есть несколько слишком много." he says. „дорогой."
(Yes, and I think you have a few too many. Darling)
„Я знаю, и ты ничего не можешь с этим поделать." I respond and shrug.
(I know and there's nothing you can do about it.)
He raises a eyebrow at me.
„посмотрим."
(We'll see.)
I look at him.
He's good.
Steve comes back.
„Here you go." he says and hands Bucky a glass water.
„Thanks, pal."
„Your welcome."
He sits down.
„I know this Shirt." he says and looks at me.
„What? This one?"
„Where'd you get it from?" he asks.
„It was in my dresser." I answer.
„Hm."
„It was mine."
Natasha walks in.
„I've put some clothes of mine in her dresser."
„I knew it!" Steve says.
She sits next to me.
„Really?" I ask her.
„Yeah, I didn't need them anymore and you got nothing to wear."
„Oh, well thanks I guess."
„Your welcome, little one."
She smirks at me.
„Stop calling me that, I'm two heads bigger than you."
„Still younger."
I roll my eyes.

We continued talking about the training.
Until Vision came in.
„We got a guest, fellas." he says.
We all look at him.
„Sharon!" Steve says and stands up.
She stands next to Vision.
He walks up to her, but she pushes him to the side a little and looks at me.
„Y/N." she says, smiling. „It's really you."
I stand up.
„I'm so happy to see you." she says, walks up to me and hugs me.
„Me too." I respond.
Meanwhile Vision left.
Steve shrugs and sits down again.
„Wow, you've changed so much." she says and looks at my hair. „Gosh you aged so well, you've grown into a beautiful woman."
I see Bucky smiling a little.
„I can't recognise you with that short hair."
I smile slightly.
„Thank you."
We sit down.
„It's also nice to see you guys." she says and looks at the others.
„Is it ok for you two to leave?" Steve asks and looks at Natasha and Bucky.
„Yeah." she says and stands up.
Bucky nods and follows her out of the room.

„I know that you don't know who I am, but that's alright." Sharon says.
„I do know, Steve told me stories about you, respectively us." I respond.
„You did?"
She turns to Steve.
He nods and smiles.
„We were a good trio." I say.
She looks at me with glassy eyes.
„Yes, we were the best."
A tear runs down her cheek.
„I'm so happy to have you back, Y/N. You and Steve were the only family I had left. Then you were gone.. I've missed you more every day."
I take her hand.
„I don't remember us before, but I do know that we'll be family again. Even tho I'm not the Y/N you knew."
She looks at me and smiles.
Steve puts a hand on her shoulder.
„I'm so glad to have our trio back." he says.

We talked a long time.
About the missions, our lives and family before I was taken from Hydra. We laughed a lot and she showed me many pictures and videos. We exchanged our numbers, so we could text.
It's 8pm.
„I'm sorry but I have to go." Sharon says.
„Already?" Steve asks.
„Sadly yes. I have a important mission tomorrow." she responds.
„I'll bring her down." I say and stand up.
„Ok." Steve says.
Sharon stands up too.
„Good bye Steve, it was nice to see you." she says.
„Thank you for coming here today." he says and hugs her.
She smiles and we walk off to the lifts.
We go down.
„I hope we'll see again soon." I say.
„Me too. We have a lot to catch up."
I smile.
The doors open.
We walk out to the street.
She hugs me and touches my cheek.
„You still got the stars in your eyes." she says and smiles.
„Text me when you're home ok?"
„Yes Ma'am."
We laugh briefly.
„Take care." I say.
„You too."
We smile at each other.
She turns around and walks away.
„It was nice meeting you, Sharon Carter." I say under my breath.

I walk in again and go to back to Steve.
Meanwhile Bucky sits with him again.
I grab me some water in the kitchen and join them.
„She walks home." I say.
Steve nods.
„Now that I saw you both together again, have you grown?" he asks.
„Me? I don't know. Natasha calls me ‚little one'. Am I that tall?" I respond.
„You were smaller than Sharon, I think you've grown."
I shrug and drink some water.
„As long as you're smaller than me, everything's alright." he says.
I roll my eyes.
„Anyways, Buck and I were just talking about today's training." Steve says.
„Oh really?"
„Yeah and I'm curious, where did you learn all this from?" Bucky asks.
„I taught it myself." I respond. „I had time, while beeing undercover."
„Every move?"
I nod.
„I mean I remembered the training before the accident. And out of these moves, I created my own ones." I explain.
„So self approved?" he asks.
„Yep."
„Impressive."

We continued talking about the training and many other things.
„It's getting late." Bucky says. „I'm gonna sleep soon."
„Me too." Steve says and stands up.
Bucky does the same.
„What about you?" he asks.
„I'm gonna go soon too. Just a little, the stars just shine so bright tonight and I can't see the moon from my room." I respond and look out of the big windows.
He looks at Steve.
Steve shrugs.
„ну тогда спи спокойно любимый." Bucky whispers as he walks past me.
(Well then, sleep well darling.)
„You too Buck."
He smirks.
They walk off and I remain alone.

I put my earphones in and go invisible.
I stand up and walk to the deck.
The moon shines so bright tonight.
It amazes me.
The stars, the buildings, the music I'm listening to, everything just harmonizes.
I sit to the edge of the deck.
My phone lights up.
Sharon texted: „I'm at home. Again, I was and am so happy to see you. I hope we'll meet again soon."
I text back: „I'm happy too, even tho it was such a short time. It felt like 5 minutes, but I'm still glad."
The next song starts playing.
I enjoy being alone.
Even tho I hated it most of the time, but I realize I haven't been around people for a long time. I feel awkward sometimes.
I look at the moon.
It's beautiful.
It clears my head.