Baker Street Boys

15(v)

*John starts to tell Sherlock how he feels, and Sherlock has a mixed reaction.

*I hope you're doing well out there :)

Chapter 5

"Sherlock?" John bit his lip. "Can we talk?"

"Well it's a bit late now," Sherlock raised a brow.

"How do you mean?" John cocked his head.

"Because you're all ready talking..." Sherlock rolled his eyes.

Oh I could smack that smirk right off his face, John bit his tongue. "I'm serious," John moved to the couch and plopped down. He looked down, gulping and twiddling his thumbs. "I think I'm having," he swallowed, taking a heaving sigh, "sexual feelings toward you."

Sherlock snerked, but soon turned his scoff into a cough when he saw John's face. It was his turn to swallow uncomfortably now. "Bit not good?"

John chewed his lip and shot him a death glare.

Sherlock looked just as hurt at his comment as he sat down on the chair opposite John.

"Why did you do that?" John stared blankly ahead.

"Do what?" Sherlock furrowed his brows.

"Scoff at me," John said pointedly.

"Well, it was a perfectly sound deduction, but it was, as your deductions tend to be, more than a bit obvious."

John shifted in his chair, using every ounce of his willpower to not punch Sherlock.

"You know, Sherlock, I'm not stupid," John had to pause to steady his voice, "and I, unlike you, have emotions," John let out a deep exhale.

Sherlock sat back in his chair, his eyes closing slowly. After a moment, he breathed out shakily, "I'm scared, John. You do have emotions, and I usually don't. Yes, of course, this is hard for you, but imagine-imagine, John-how hard this is for me," he barely whispered. Sherlock composed himself, "I don't have relationships. I don't interact with people," he spit out, his eyes shooting open. "And I certainly don't think of anyone as I get off during an experiment!" Sherlock yelled, clenching his nails tightly into his palms. He buried his head in his hands and tried to breathe deeply.

John could see that his flat mate was so unstable, so vulnerable. Sherlock was literally holding back tears and he, John Watson, was the one Sherlock let see.

He's right. I have been selfish. This could change his entire identity. It would only change one part of me. He sighed, shaking his head, Well, Sherlock isn't the most selfless person ever, now is he?

But he winced at his thoughts. John knew how much this man needed him. And he was beginning to see just how much he needed Sherlock, too.

He looked over at his flat mate clearly now, seeing his lip trembling, his fingers nervously picking at the armchair, the sweat dotting his brow. It wasn't just John who was terrified and uneasy. No, he had even reduced the great Sherlock Holmes to this state of unrest.

"Sherlock...?" John started slowly.

Sherlock just drummed his fingers on his head.

"I'm...sorry?" It was more of a question than a statement, as words and thoughts had fled from John as concern took over him. "We can..." he trailed off, staring up at the ceiling, searching for answers. He didn't know what to say or how to say it. All he knew was that he wanted to comfort Sherlock.

So he did the best thing he felt like he could do. He got up, walked over to Sherlock, and rested a hand on his back.

Sherlock slowly sat up, head still hanging. He exhaled deeply, then looked up at John.

He stood up, letting John's hand fall off his back, and faced the shorter man. His brows furrowed and his blue eyes scanned John's face, searching for something, but he seemed unsure of what. His lips spread into a soft smile. He took a deep breath, then kissed John's cheek.

He closed his eyes as he moved his head back to see John's reaction. He opened them to see John lightly touching where Sherlock had kissed him, tracing the spot with his forefinger. Sherlock gave John another light smile, then turned around, grabbing his bag of white powder before heading to his room.

John slowly let his arm drop, his brain still processing his flat mate's actions. He sat down on Sherlock's chair with a harrumph. He strummed his fingers along the arm of the chair and slowly smiled.

Well, I told him how I feel, he nodded, pleased with himself. He and I just need to sort ourselves out before we discuss this further, he resolved. Satisfied with the day's events thus far, but eager to rest, he shut his eyes and drifted off to sleep.