49 - October

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Moments after the prestigious failure that was the 2022 Brownlow Medal flashed by Lotte like a blur. Sometimes they were extremely fast, like time would never slow down and she'd never catch a break. Others, were impossibly slow and she struggled to find something to fill the silence as she laid in bed in Reservoir, desperately recounting the minutes it all went wrong. She had to admit, she regretted telling Josh about her infidelity more so than she regretted sleeping with someone else. It sickened her to think about doing it with anyone besides Josh, but in that one moment of weakness she was in love with his teammate and spent an afternoon and night with him. She didn't know what to do.

The weekend after the Brownlow was the grand final. Collingwood's incredibly controversial preliminary final win was all talked about - including Nick walking out halfway through the count - made for an interesting week to say at the least. Lotte had spent the week hiding at work or in her apartment. Josh and Jack had to beg her to attend the grand final. She wanted nothing to do with it after the humiliating night. Not to mention, Tatijana's wildly popular tweet about how problematic she was. Lotte wasn't a good person and she felt like she was being forced to face it. Really forced.

So when she was sitting in the private box at the MCG the minute the final siren went....she jumped in the air screaming, smile wide as she grabbed Trent and wrapped her arms around him, crying tears of joy. She threw her scarf around in the air as Trent fell to his knees in sad tears. The score, 104-103. Geelong's way. Lotte couldn't believe her luck, her cats had won. Her brother would have been so happy, smiling down. She made sure to text him that night. She was so happy she didn't even notice how devastated Trent was, how Callum wouldn't even look at her. How she and Josh got into that fight in the car, and how she fled at a red light, running all the way to his teammate's house. And how she spent the rest of the week there. Josh never called, but texted to apologise. He knew she wouldn't pick up anyway.

She'd missed the Copeland. Nick, as predicted, took Ashlyn. Seeing the photos of her best friend made Lotte feel a certain type of way, envious. The gorgeous red dress Ashlyn had worn. The way her curls cascaded down her arms perfectly, her stunning makeup. Lotte had just planned to go in a black dress. In fact, that dress was still hanging up in her wardrobe. Her incredibly messy closet that she couldn't even shut the doors on. She'd seen all the photos. Josh, Nick, Isaac. Nick, Ashlyn. Patrick, Chloe. Trent, Jack, John. John, Annabelle. Darcy, Caitlin. She'd missed out all because of her stupid pride. And her need to be shared that one night. She constantly looked over the photos of Ashlyn time and again. She felt that even if she'd had gone, she would have been significantly underdressed the entire time.

And falling on the same night was Carlton's John Nicholls Medal

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And falling on the same night was Carlton's John Nicholls Medal. She wasn't that interested in it, but Ella and Lewis standing side by side was something else. Ella had been talking about wearing the most modern, revealing and huge dress she could possibly find in all the many boutiques she pulled apart. So when Lotte saw the photos of her also wearing a simple black dress, open toed sandals and average makeup, she had to wonder what was going through the girl's head. It wasn't Ella like at all. In fact, she seemed to try to hide the baby bump. She also noticed Ella wasn't wearing her engagement ring. Lotte didn't care to press for more details.

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