Saving Lotte Sullivan | Collingwood/Carlton

55 - It's All My Fault

Lotte sat back in the uncomfortable hospital chair, one leg folded over the other, anxiously bouncing her foot as she tried not to relive the evil and cruel situations over and over in her mind. Moments constantly flashing. Yesterday. 2016. Yesterday. 2016. Yesterday.

'Ash, I got you a coffee. The one you like this time' Josh Daicos said quietly, entering the room and holding the to go cup out. The woman laid on her back, eyes closed, head tilted, pretending she was asleep. She wasn't.

'Shhh. She's sleeping' Lotte whispered, uncomfortably folding her arms and then pulling her jacket around herself tighter. She'd had to note, every hospital she'd been in had always been too hot. Until situations like this happened - suddenly the air was too cold and temperament unbearable. Josh was the one warm thing to enter the room. The nurses were as cold as anything - they didn't know what to say. And if Ashlyn was speaking, she was usually biting their heads off for being so insensitive.

'I'll just leave it here' Josh said, placing the coffee cup on Ashlyn's overbed wheeled table. Her untouched lunch remained there too.

'She's not going to drink it. I wouldn't waste my money' Lotte said, sounding a little short tempered. She was tired. She was exhausted. She wanted to go home and sleep. Sleep didn't come.

'Ashlyn's not a waste of money, Lotte. You of all people should understand how much she just went through' Josh said, gently placing his hand on Ashlyn's shoulder. Seeing as her eyes were closed, she had to force back the slight jumpscare and gasp from the unprecedented touch.

'You of all people' Lotte said in a childish voice, mimicking him and pulling a face. She was sick of those four words. Nobody's problems and trauma were the same. Of course she knew her best friend had been through hell. Was Josh blind?

'I don't know what your problem is' Josh said, shaking his head in disbelief as he headed for the door.

'Why don't you go and ask Tati-'

Desperately trying to catch up on his sleep, Jack Ginnivan suddenly struck out and kicked Lotte's leg. She yelped and whined in complaint.

'Don't start. Honestly, you two, do not start. If you start I'm having you both thrown in padded cells in the mental health unit of the Austin' he warned, eyes still closed. He uncomfortably faced the other way in his chair, leaning his head on the shit hospital pillow. It was an extra that Ashlyn had declined. And thrown at a doctor.

'Sorry' Lotte said sheepishly, looking down at her hands, the rings on her fingers, beyond chipped nails.

'My son and daughter are waiting for me with mum, I'd better go back' Josh said, refusing to apologise. He looked at Lotte and Jack for permission, but neither of them showed any response, and so he left. Until his younger brother barged past him in the doorway and banged straight into his shoulder.

'Jesus, Nick!' Josh complained, shaking his head and almost slamming the door closed. Nick looked back, confused. 'What's his problem?' He asked, naive as anything and also tired as anything. He held something in his hands. Lotte wasn't sure what it was, maybe a box of some kind?

'Nick?' Ashlyn asked, suddenly opening her eyes and waking up as she turned her head to face him. He put on one of his award winning smiles that meant nothing. He wasn't feeling it.

'Hey. I'm back. I'm here. I'm so sorry, I had to go and see Rhiannon. I'm trying to see her at least once everyday' he said, kissing the side of her face as he looked around for a spare chair. Lotte had it, and she wasn't giving it up anytime soon.

'You saw her yesterday' Ashlyn said, glaring at him. She felt like she should have been his biggest priority right there and then, everyone's biggest priority. But at the same time, she didn't want people around. She didn't want to be annoyed. Lotte had refused to leave, worried about her, and Ashlyn herself had begged Jack to stay in the absence of Callum. Whatever Callum meant to such an important event.