Heart of stone

Secrets

Nat woke up after an hour or so and felt herself on top of Wanda. She didn't even realise she had fallen asleep until she opened her eyes. She saw the movie infront of her and realised she was still having a movie day with her mama.

She groaned slightly, stretching her body out before curling back into Wanda. "Hey babygirl, did you have a good nap?" Wanda asked, gently rubbing her hands through her baby's hair. Nat nodded at her question and stayed curled up to her mama.

They watched movies all day, only stopping to collect the takeout they ordered for dinner. They both went to sleep content in each other's arms that night.

Nat woke up in the middle of the night, she didn't know why but she knew something was wrong. She could feel it. "Wanda?" She whispered. She didn't get a response. She could see Wanda's chest rising and falling in a beautiful rhythm, she didn't want to interrupt that.

She carefully got out of bed, slipping out of Wanda's room as quietly as she could. She looked around to reassure herself that she was fine, but this time that didn't work. Something felt wrong. Unsafe. She felt like someone was watching her, something bad was going to happen.

She went back into Wanda's room and lay down trying to get back to sleep but nothing would work, her thoughts just kept spinning until her heart was beating out of her chest and her breath started to catch in her throat. "Wanda?" Nat managed to croak out, reaching out for her.

Wanda could feel someone tapping her and heard someone call out for her. After a few seconds it registered and she realised it wasn't just anyone, it was her baby.

She opened her eyes to see Nat taking ragged breaths in and out, trying to keep everything under control.

"Baby? Hey it's okay. What's wrong? Did you have a nightmare?" She rushes out with a croaky voice. Nat manages to shake her head as tears stream down her face and her body shakes more. "What happened my love?" She says sitting up and looking into her eyes.

"Something bad is gonna happen and I- I can't stop it!" Nat cries and it's only then that Wanda realises she's big. "Nat, honey, what's going to happen?" Wanda says starting to panic, thinking Nat knew something she didn't.

"I don't know! I can feel it Wanda, I can feel it inside of me! Something is going to happen and I can't stop it!" Nat cried. She hated these anxiety episodes she has but no matter what they never stopped.

Wanda realised what was happening and her heart starts to hurt. She had anxiety attacks like this at hydra when Pieter was alive and when she stayed with the Barton's. She would never wish it upon anyone.

"Baby that's just a feeling. I promise you nothing bad will happen." Nat shook her head and grasped at her hair, she couldn't do this anymore. "Nat, baby, look at me." Wanda tried but Nat just kept pulling at her hair, her breathing laboured.

"Natasha." Wanda said firmer but Nat didn't look at her. She couldn't. Tonight she wasn't risking it, she let her thoughts win this time. The overwhelming fear of something happening to her or Wanda was pushing through any other feeling trying to show itself.

"Nat please tell me how to help you Babygirl, please. I want to help you." Wanda tried and went to hug Nat but she moved back. "No! You can't touch me! Please Wanda I'm keeping everyone safe. Please."

"Natasha, i need to know what's going on." When Wanda got no response, she tried the only other thing she could think of. "Jarvis? What's going on?"
"Miss Romanoff is in a current state of distress."
"But why Jarvis, why!" Wanda yelled, getting scared of Nat's behaviour.
"Miss Romanoff has turned off availability settings. I am unable to answer your question."
"Override them Jarvis! Please!"
"Unable to, miss maximoff. Only miss Romanoff has the code to override availability status."

Wanda grumbled at the stupid robot in the walls and looked at Nat pleadingly. "Alianova." She whispered, not looking up at Wanda as tears made their way down her cheeks. She hated how she felt, and if there was a slight chance that telling Wanda would help with it? She would take that chance.

"Alianova!" Wanda shouted into the air and a beep was heard as the settings were turned off.
"Miss Romanoff is experiencing extreme anxiety over intrusive thoughts, seemingly caused by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder." Jarvis responded and Wanda nodded, taking everything in. She thought she knew everything about Nat, but she was yet proven wrong.

OCD, Wanda knew nothing about how to help her... so she was just going to have to try her best. "Natasha, babygirl, what can I do to help?"
"I... I don't know..." Nat responded defeatedly. She hadn't dealt with one of these attacks in years. "Anything, even if it's just a hug."
"No! You- you can't touch me." Nat said quickly said. "Why not baby?"
"If you touch me your gonna die in your sleep and I can't live without you Wanda. I wouldn't ever forgive myself if anything happened to you."

"Angel, I promise you that if I touch you, whether it's a tiny poke or a massive hug, nothing will happen to me. And if it did? That wouldn't be your fault. I promise you these thoughts are only thoughts. I know they are very convincing, but that doesn't mean they're real." Wanda tried to explain, hoping she could help Nat and get them both back to bed. Nat looked exhausted as she rubbed her hands over her face.

"I know that Wanda but what if it did? What if it did... I'm not taking the risk."
"Okay, how about you lay down and I'll stay here. I'll sit awake to make sure nothing bad happens to either of us. Take some deep breaths for me okay?" Wanda says, trying to calm Nat down before doing anything else, a calm Nat is better than a hysterical Nat.

"But you won't sleep and I won't be awake..." she said, taking deep breaths. "That's okay. I promise you I will keep myself awake to protect you."
"You promise you won't touch me?" Nat says pleadingly. "I promise."

Nat nodded and got back into bed, laying on her back as she dried her tears and tried to fall back asleep. Although she couldn't for a long while, eventually her eyes started to flutter closed every now and then.

"Good girl, go to sleep my love."
"Wanda... can I have a hug?" Nat asked and Wanda nodded, opening her arms.
"Can... can you do it?" Nat asked and Wanda nodded, gently taking Nat in her arms. Nat tensed for a few minutes, but after realising nothing bad was happening she relaxed into Wanda's hold.

"I'm sorry Wanda... I've kept you up all night over stupid irrational thoughts." Nat apologised, feeling bad. "Don't be silly. I'm glad you woke me up, I would've hated to find out you went through that alone. I'll always be here for you."

Nat went to sleep, safely in Wanda's arms. Wanda on the other hand stayed awake all night, she couldn't sleep knowing her baby was struggling like this. It hurt her so bad, she just wanted to take nats pain away, and she couldn't. In the morning she was going to do a lot of research on therapists near them. For now, she stayed up all night controlling Nats thoughts and dreams, letting her baby have a good night sleep.