Aden

Chapter Thirteen

Aden

Was I dreaming of her again? It seemed like the only image my subconscious could conjure up was a dark-haired angel with the sun for eyes. I didn't have to try hard to think about her. She didn't occupy my mind and thoughts.

She was the sole owner. She belonged with me in any way I could have her. Every dream always ended the same way. It'd start off with her in my arms, smiling and laughing and it'd end with her screaming and crying as she ran out and away from me.

To dream and see glimpses of her despite how it ended was the only way I could see her. I'd take it. I'd take that pain and hurt and anguish because I deserved it for what I did to her.

I didn't deserve her, and I hated myself for being so undeserving of her, for being a coward that night. But my God, did I miss her. I missed her so much. I missed her more than the air that I dragged into my lungs. I missed her so much that it fucking hurt.

I dreamt of her smile, heard her laugh everywhere, and saw her face everywhere I looked. My bed smelt like her, and I haven't been able to sleep there since she left. She smelt fresh, and sweet, almost like a light vanilla aroma and once it caught onto my bedsheets and pillows, I'd never sleep there ever again.

As far as I was concerned, I'd never sleep ever again. It felt like a small touch at first, timid fingers caressing my cheeks. Then, I felt the rough scratching of nails against my jaw, and it had me waking up to see that I was in Heaven. I had to be because Leila was right there.

"Hi," She whispered.

"I'm dreaming again,"

"No...no you're not." She murmured, her hands now cradling my face as she forced me to look at her. "I'm here,"

"Leila, please," I begged and didn't think too much about how weak I sounded. "Please,"

"Aden," I almost sobbed at how she said my name. "I'm here. I think I like you with all this..." She trailed off her fingers moving through my beard. "It's sexy."

"Leila, I-I'm so sorry. I-"

"Sshh. Don't."

Shaking her head, she offered me a small smile. I sat up with her help and she got off the floor and sat down next to me. She ran her hands down my chest and back up as she cradled my jaw.

"Why don't you go upstairs and freshen up?"

"Are you going to be here when I come back down?" I whispered, my emotions taking over as I felt the urge to cry.

"Yes, I promise."

"Don't leave. I'll be quick."

"I'm not leaving."

She leaned in and kissed my cheek and my eyes closed as a lone tear fell down my cheek and fell onto my lap. She lingered there for a moment longer and I savored it.

She pulled away slightly and our eyes caught, and the emotions were bursting and evident in our eyes. Even underneath all that sadness, pain, and hurt, there was this crippling, decimating need to touch.

My fingers shook as they came up and held her chin. Her breathing hitched and her eyes darkened slightly.

"Aden,"

I cleared my throat. "I'll be right back,"

We dropped our hands and she got off the sofa and headed to the kitchen. I headed upstairs and didn't look in the mirror because I knew how I looked. I could feel it. I hadn't gotten off that sofa all week, only when I needed to drink or piss, but that was it.