The Agreement (H.G.)

15

Brooklyn

I wake up with the worst headache, but nothing in the whole world could hurt more than the soreness from Jack last night.

I take a minute to observe my surroundings, I'm in Taylor's room? I don't even remember coming home.

I open my phone up to my photo album, hoping to find pictures there, which I do. Me and Jack taking shots, me and Jack laughing, me and Jack making out, oh no, me and Jack, me and Jack, me and Jack, so he was probably the only one I was with all night.

"Oh good." I hear from the door way, "you're up." Taylor sounds pissed off.

"Yeah, my head hurts like a bitch." I say and chuckle a little.

"Are you sore from riding Gilinsky all night?" He asks bluntly, crossing his arms and raising one eyebrow.

"How do you know about that." I state, not really wanting a answer because it was mostly likely me.

"You." he says and rolls his eyes.

"I'm sorry okay? I was drunk, don't tell me you haven't done things you regret when you're drunk." I say and cross my arms back at him.

"What about Hayes." he says and sits next to me on the bed. I don't answer him as he pulls the ibuprofen bottle from his nightstand drawer. He hands me two and I swallow them down.

"What about him." I question, praying I didn't say any other stupid things last night.

"Well you're going to have to tell him, Brookles." he says sternly, "today." I groan and put a pillow on my head, dreading the thought of what Hayes is going to do when he finds out.

"In fact, I'll tell him to come over at 3, that gives you 4 hours to prepare what you're going to say to him." Taylor says and I stare at him with wide eyes in disbelief. "I'm not kidding, Brookles, you aren't going to get passed this one." he says and starts typing on his phone.

"God damnit Taylor! Why do you have to get involved!" I scream at him, wanting nothing more than for him to put the phone down and leave himself out of it.

"Because if you don't address it now, then it's going to keep growing and growing and you don't know how to handle these problems!" He screams back, I hate when he screams at me.

I get up, ignoring the pain waves that are flaming in my head and in my stomach, and walk across the hallway, collapsing in my bed.

I get a buzz from my phone and lift my head to check it.

From: Haystack😊

Taylor invited me over, be there at three :)

My head feels like it's about to pop with anger. I wish there was anyone in this world I could talk to about these problems, I wish my mom was here.

After she left me and my dad for some rich guy when I was 7 I have barely talked to her. When I was 13 I went to California to stay with her for a week and we built our relationship back up again, but we haven't talked in at least 2 years now.

I pick up my phone again, run my fingers through my brown locks, and with a shaking hand I try to press the call button on my moms contact.

The deafening ring chimes through the phone, mocking me with every second that feels like an hour. The ring that has haunted me for the last 2 years every time I try to call my mom, the ring of silence that finally leads to this, the voice on the other end telling me my mother is too busy to care about the only human being she brought into the world. I love her unconditionally and all I get from her is a shitty card on my birthday I'm pretty sure my dad buys to make it look like my mom cares, and her voicemail she's had since I was 5.

I hear the beep, signaling my time to leave her a message, "hey mom," I breathe deeply, "I just want to see how you're doing, haven't heard from you in like two years," I chuckle, trying to lighten the mood, "i wish you would answer me, you're the only person I want to talk to right now." I start whispering for no apparent reason, "I-i love you mom." I end the message and force the tears to stay inside of my eyes as I think about the day my mom left.

~~~flashback~~~

"Mommy?" My seven-year-old self whispers as I open the door to my parents bedroom. My reoccurring nightmare getting the best of me and causing me to come crying to my parents.

I open their bedroom door to find my mom standing over a fully packed suitcase. "Mommy?" I whisper to her in the darkness of the room.

"Little Bee what are you doing up?" She coos to me as she scoops me up in her arms.

"I had that nightmare again." I say and she carries me over to her bed.

"Want me to tell you that story to help you go to bed?" She asks and I nod my head frantically, loving the story I know my mom is talking about.

"Okay, once upon a time, years from now in the future, there will be a boy. This won't be a normal boy Brookie, oh no, he's going to be a prince. And of course, you'll be the princess. He'll sweep you off your feet and make you feel pure ecstasy running through your veins, euphoria seeping into every bone in your body. Now of course you have no idea what those words mean, but you will. Now, let me tell you about a girl who lost this guy." she starts the story the same way she always did, "Alyssa was madly in love with a handsome, sweet, charming guy, his name was Ben. Ben made her so happy, he gave her everything she wanted and more, no matter how many times she refused his spoiling he kept giving and giving. Alyssa expected nothing more but for them to get married, since everyday Ben showered her with the thoughts of them being in love forever, so when Ben told her that she was rotten and stupid, she broke." her eyes started watering a little as she got to this part in the story, "but after a while she met another guy, she didn't love him, not nearly as much as Ben, but she loved him enough. He gave her something she could never thank him enough for," she stroked a piece of hair behind my ear, letting a few tears fall gracefully down her satin cheeks, "but even that thing wasn't enough to keep Alyssa from needing more, from needing Ben. So the moral of the story is, once you find your Ben, don't be like Alyssa, be like Brooklyn, and go for what you want baby." She kisses me forehead and tucks me in, leaving a sealed box on the nightstand.

My heavy eyes only catch her walking out the door with her suitcase, waterfalls flowing down her cheeks, she mouths "I love you." before she exits the house and enters the cab that's waiting for her, not knowing she just shredded any happiness her 7 year old could ever have for the rest of her life.

~~~

I have tears running down my cheeks as I search through my closet for a sealed cardboard box, roughed up a bit from moving.

I find the box, the original packing tape still on it, the original handwriting that says "For Brooklyn Indigo on her hardest Dayes" I laugh through my tears, she was always the best with puns.

I open the box slowly, reaching in to find letters upon letters inside, all with 2 dates on them. I search through them all, there had to be over 1000 letters in here, until I find one with today's date on it, and the date that she wrote it.

I open it slowly, making sure to savor the sweet smell of my mothers perfume that escapes the opened envelope.

Tears instantly prick in my eyes as I read the letter.

"Dear Little Bee,
It's Momma again, I know you probably still hate me, but I also know today is 10 years since I left. I know we probably haven't spoken much, and I'm sorry. But, here is my work number that you can reach me at, I hope this makes up for any or some of the pain I've caused you Brooklyn, I love you so much.
Xoxo, Mama."

I fold the letter back up, wipe my tear stained cheeks and hide the box again. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to face her voice, her real voice and not her voicemail. I wasn't ready for the ringing to be stopped midring, I wasn't ready for her advice and I wasn't ready to tell my dad about the letters either.

I stand up and find an orange cropped tank top and some distressed dark wash jean shorts. I throw on the outfit and look at the time, 2:56.

I lean my head back in defeat and sit patiently for Hayes to come and start the inevitable screaming match with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~