sola
😎📖💚🥞🌞🐙
I feel one raindrop on my head, then another, and then we hear the sound of small drops pelting the sidewalk.
"Oh shit I forgot an umbrella!" Hyunjae says and I we both hold our arms above our heads for shade.
"You can stay at my place until it stops," I say. That came out so naturally, like I wanted it to happen. Maybe I do want him to stay.
"O-okay," he says. We run to my front porch and I open the door.
We take our shoes off and I turn the lights on. I'm welcomed with the dead silence and the darkness of my house. It seems extra dull lately since I've been at Hyunjae's.
"Wow, you were right it's so empty here." He comments.
"I know, it's depressing," I say and we walk into the living room.
"Soup?" He offers, holding up the bag his mom made.
I let myself smile a tiny bit and I nod.
Soup on a rainy day, nothing better.
It's still warm so we pour it directly into bowls and sit across from each other at the table.
"So this is what it's like huh?" Hyunjae asks.
"Yep." I say as we eat while listening to the sound of the storm.
"Do you miss them?"
I shrug. "I don't know. I don't even think I know them that well so I don't know what I'm missing. That's how much they've been gone."
"Damn," he says. "You're welcome at my house any time. As my mom has made clear."
"Thanks," I tell him. "I kind of envy you now."
"Because of my beautiful face and charming personality?"
"No because of your house."
"Ouch," Hyunjae laughs and our smiling eyes meet.
I see a lollipop in his shirt pocket, and my mind wanders back to the ski trip. When he had taken the candy out of his mouth before we kissed. I could taste the watermelon flavor.
We kissed. That was my first one. The romantic perfect moment I had imagined for years turned out to be another high school mistake. That's right, it was all a mistake. This is all a mistake.
"...so this is just us being partners right?" I say suddenly. "I mean, we-we're not friends. Right?"
Hyunjae takes a while to reply. "R-right. Yeah totally. This is research... for our project. Psychology."
"Okay good, I was just making sure." I add.
That's right. Boundaries.
We eat in silence the rest of the time, though half an hour passes as we both seem to be busy thinking.
hyunjae
😳🎁🥍❤️🔥🍗🦕
Those words stung. I wont lie. Sola has single handedly affected the best and worst moments of my life, that's how much she matters to me.
I just can't seem to put it into words though. I'm afraid she'll never know because I'm a dumbass that can't talk about my feelings. I guess it's for the best, because she wants to have space between us, and if that's what she needs I'll respect that. Even if it hurts.
We finish our soup and make small talk with each other. To be honest it's difficult to make just small talk with Sola. Everytime we talk we end up telling our secrets. It just comes naturally. So keeping distance is hard, since we get along so well.
