sola
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"Sunwoo please, please don't do this." I beg him, grabbing his arm.
"It's too late, Sol, there's no stopping me." My best friend shrugs me off.
I watch him walk up the desks of our classroom to the front. He's about to give the worst speech presentation about Jihun ever.
"Oh god," I murmur to myself. I glance over my shoulder, catching Hyunjae's eyes at the back of the classroom. He gives me a small smile.
I like when he smiles because it seems like something he does just for me. Don't get me wrong he smiles to everyone, but not his real one. It's how I know there's trust between us. Whatever 'we' are.
"Now remember students, this project is all about getting to know each other on a deeper level. You should use these skills once you go off to university, trust me, you'll remember this class and thank me." The teacher says, and is answered with silence.
Jihun and Sunwoo stand at the front of the room with their papers in hand.
"I learned a lot of things these past few weeks." Sunwoo begins, projecting his voice as loudly as he can.
Jihun stands next to him fidgeting nervously with his piece of paper.
"And I thought you all should know what I've learned too." Sunwoo continues.
Part of me wants to stop him, but the other part is proud.
"... like, Jihun is the biggest dickhead I've ever talked to in my life. He's selfish, he plays everyone around him, and he's too insecure about his own personality that he makes fun of everyone else's. Not to mention he gave me this black eye." Sunwoo says and the whole class laughs quietly. "So what have I learned from talking to him? I've learned the art of patience. The skill to not kill someone. I've learned to hold back from tackling one to the floor and beating the shit out of them. So thank you, Jihun. I've learned so much from spending time with you, and I sincerely hope to never do this again."
The teacher stands off to the side, stunned.
Sunwoo finishes with a polite bow and a 'thank you' to the audience. I clap the loudest for him and I hear Hyunjae laughing somewhere behind me.
"Okay... Jihun, would you like to present?" the teacher asks.
Jihun and scoffs. He just storms out of the room and slams the door shut. Sunwoo sits back in his seat next to me and the teacher takes a moment to recover.
"...Anyways. Our last presenting group: Sola and Hyunjae." She says and we both stand up with our notecards.
We stand in the front of the classroom, all eyes on us. By now everybody knows what happened on the ski trip. Everyone in the school knows.
"You want to start?" Hyunjae asks me and I nod.
I clear my throat. "When I first met Hyunjae it was long before this project started. A lot of you may think that our story began on the ski trip, but that's not true. I met him a few weeks prior, and honestly I didn't think well of him. I associated him with the people he used to hang out with, and I had my doubts. But over time we got to know each other, like, really got to know each other.
And after everything that happened most people would probably think that we're enemies by now. That I never wanted to talk to him again. But actually, I wanted to talk to him more. The more I saw his flaws the more I became curious. I thought, is this the person who everybody loves? And honestly, no it's not. He's not the person you think he is.
He's better. He's more kind, and genuine, and empathetic. He taught me that people do change, and, unlike what I used to think, that change can be good.
In conclusion I think everybody should take the time to talk with people. Get to know them on a deeper level because your perception of them might change."
The classroom claps and Hyunjae wipes a nonexistent tear off his face.
When they quiet down Hyunjae starts: "I didn't know what to write about, if I'm being honest. There were to many things to say. I wanted to share my view to you all of how I see Sola. But then I realized that's not possible. Because the things we've been through can't be felt by anyone else.
I thought that doing this project would be difficult. Getting to know someone you already thought you knew well should have been hard. And at first I was scared; because I had shown her a part of myself that I regretted, a part of me that I've left behind since then.
But she's motivated me to move past that, and become someone worthy of forgiveness. You guys might not know Sola very well. She seems quiet at first, and doesn't talk to many others if she doesn't have to. But that's only because she has the ability to understand others on a deeper level even without talking to them. And for the first time, being around her I felt like I could be myself.
I was nervous, because I had buried myself so deep down I didn't think she would like me, because everybody liked who I was pretending to be. But she did, and when I screwed it up I realized I couldn't keep pretending to be someone for some people and another for her. It made me change, and I don't think I could have done it without her.
So I'm sorry, Sola." Hyunjae says, his voice wavers a bit, and silence rings throughout the classroom. He stares so intently at me I can't look away.
"I'm sorry that you had to know me a few months ago, when I was lying to myself. You didn't deserve that. And I hope I can make it up to you now, and that was just the prologue." he finishes.
I feel tears of my own stinging my eyes but I push them back. I smile at him and I see his breath is shaky. Everyone claps for a long time and I nod to him.
"See class?" The teacher says. "This is what this project is about, this is what we use psychology for."
"Just the prologue." I say to him.
"So, this is chapter one then?" Hyunjae asks, keeping his voice close to mine. because sometimes, our words are just for each other.
"Chapter one, page one."
