Ash is a fashion model, not by choice but the desire of his projecting mother. People think he's too cocky for his own good, judging him based on what he posts online. But Ash hates the brush he's been painted with, along with the stereotypes of the...
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Over the course of the weekend I have received four messages from Bodi including the one from Friday night. I leave them all on read because I don't want to reply to him, I have nothing to say.
I'm still in shock and I've felt nauseous all morning just thinking about it. Replaying what I saw over and over in my head until I want my eyes to bleed.
Her moans, his body movements. The audacity of fucking some girl whilst I'm at the party.
Did he really forget about me that easily?
I go onto my phone and glance over the last couple of messages from Bodi.
bodihawk1: Did you come to the party last night? I couldn't see you at all
bodihawk1: Is there a reason why you're reading and ignoring my messages?
bodihawk1:Did one of my stupid friends say something to you?
My eyes roll and I lock my phone again, laying flat on my back and looking up at the ceiling. He doesn't deserve a response. I get that Ciara embarrassed him in a room full of his friends but doing that knowing I might have been there. What were his real intentions?
We've never spoken about what we are or what's going on between us but I thought it was something more, especially when Bodi talks to me and holds me and kisses me like I matter.
He told me that I am his instant medicine. Or was that just some bullshit lie to get in my pants so he could get with a guy?
Using me for his fetishes because I'm just so easy and accepting whenever he comes onto me.
I curse to myself and roll in my bed until my sheets are messy and the mattress is no longer comfortable. The thought of going back to probation on Monday makes me feel sick, I don't even want to face him.
I don't even want to talk to him.
Who's to say that he hasn't been fucking whoever he wants whilst he's been having sex with me?
I have to keep reminding myself that we're not exclusive, we've never spoken about that but I can't help but feel disheartened at the idea.
Maybe it's my own fault for ignoring that conversation and never bringing it up. If I wanted to know I should have proposed the question and then maybe I wouldn't feel so heartbroken and crushed right now.
Bodi doesn't text me again and Monday rolls around far too quickly. I arrive at the manor and he's already there, waiting for me.
I can see him lean against the pillar on the front steps but I keep my eyes low and avoid eye-contact by all means.
