Ash is a fashion model, not by choice but the desire of his projecting mother. People think he's too cocky for his own good, judging him based on what he posts online. But Ash hates the brush he's been painted with, along with the stereotypes of the...
beg: (verb) 1. ask someone earnestly or humbly for something.
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It's been five days since the party and I'm still ignoring Bodi. I cannot ignore the deep sadness and regret inside me of letting him get that close to me, letting himself believe that he cared about my feelings.
Maybe he really is trying to find out his sexuality but I always find it so suspicious when they think that they've got something to prove, that being straight and sleeping with girls makes them more manly than any other guy who is gay.
I fucking hate that perception. I fucking hate this society.
Why we can't just do things in peace is beyond me and maybe Bodi still needs time to figure himself out, but I know that I can't be there with him. The damage has already been done, if he wanted me to I would have been there for him. But this feels like a slap in the face.
Now I realise that nothing ever comes of one-night stands, people always somehow make me feel worthless in the long run. It might be a night of fun and quick passion but when it comes down to it, what is it doing to my own sanity?
Sometimes I sit and think that maybe I never gave Bodi the impression that I really liked him but I thought that was obvious. Bodi might be oblivious to the signs, to the things I was saying, how I touched him.
And now this is all a fucking mess and I wish it never happened because seeing him these last three days has been a killer, especially when Bodi watches me with those remorseful eyes. Ones that are trying to make me feel guilty but I refrain.
It's almost at the end of the day and I've kept well away from Bodi, he's barely tried to speak to me today which is a bonus. Makes the dread of an awkward conversation finally got away.
But that's when I see him out of the corner of my eye, heading straight towards. He doesn't slow, he doesn't stop, he makes his intentions clear.
I keep my eyes focused on the wall as I scrape off the remainder of wallpaper.
"Ash," his voice is gentle and hearing my name from his mouth has my eyes closing. "Let's just talk about this. Please."
"Not sure what there is to talk about. The damage is already done." I grumble and use the scraper harder, denting the walls.
Bodi watches the action and sighs, stepping beside me. Even though we've been working all day in these sweaty conditions, I can still smell his aftershave that could make my mouth water. It's the one he wore the night we first hooked up and now it's a smell that never leaves my mind.
"I didn't fuck her, Ash. I didn't." He doesn't stutter or grow quiet, his words sound like statements but I don't look at him. I can't.
A scoff rolls from my chest quietly. "Why should I believe you?"
