You [l.h]

Chapter 16 : Honesty

"I don't really like her being around me. I used to like it but I don't now."

Luke said as soon as we got out of his room. We were walking to the hospital's canteen and he was still holding my left hand.
Then he probably realized something and let go of it. "Sorry." He said.

"It's fine." I smiled. I missed being with Luke. Alone.

"Here." I handed him a plate of pancake. He said he wasn't in the mood to eat ice cream so he ordered pancakes instead.

"Uh, Luke.. why.. why you don't like Clara? You used to be together, right?" I heard him choke and I handed him a glass of water. "I'm sorry. You don't need to answer that. I don't know why I even asked."

He let out a small laugh. "It's fine. I think I can tell you about it."

Luke's POV

I'd never been so open to someone before But everytime Lily asked something about me I didn't feel the need to hide anything. I found myself feeling comfortable with saying anything.

"Okay.. summer two years ago, I met a girl named Clara Hudson. We met on the street when she was walking with her a dog. Then I thought, 'that girl is so pretty.' So I came to her and asked for her name. And her number.."
She didn't cut me off. She listened to what I said carefully. She stayed silent so I could say it all.
"Long story short, I felt my feelings for her starting to feel awkward. I mean, I was feeling a different feeling when I was around her. It was a good feeling. I loved it. So, I asked her out and yeah we were kinda in a relationship.

"She had that dream. She liked modelling and her mom told her to move to Paris so that she could fulfil her dream. And she did. She left me. It didn't seem hard for her to leave me. There was no tears. I started to think maybe she didn't love me enough. Or maybe I should've done something to make her happy and stay here with me.
I didn't want to be selfish but I couldn't deny the fact that I wanted her for my own. We could have made it better but she refused to talk to me about her leaving. She didn't say much about it. She just told me she would go and that was it. I would try my best to be fine if she made me sure that no matter what happened, she was still mine. But she didn't bother trying.
I kept on thinking of what I had not done to her. I loved her so much that time. I'd never wanted to lose her. I didn't want to be alone.
But now, everything has changed. I've moved on. I died everyday thinking about her but I'm alive now. And then out of nowhere, she came back to me. I was surprised. I didn't know if I was happy or mad. But I missed her. It was good to see her again. But then I don't know why, I started not to like her presence. She said she wanted to fix our relationship but I don't think I need her to."

"That was a long story. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, really. Don't apologise too much." I smiled at that.

"That's funny how you can love someone so much but you end up not liking her at all." She said in a matter of fact. Yeah, she was totally right.

"She's just too late now. She didn't care about me when she left me, but now she wants to get back together. My feelings aren't something she can play with."

Then I stared at a figure in front of me. She was so beautiful. She looked so cute. Her face made you feel some kind of peace. I could spend my time looking at her and not feeling bored.

Wait. What?
I looked away.

Where did it all come from? Really now, Luke? You liked her that much?
I looked at her again but then something caught my eyes.
"Oh you have ice cream on your cheek."

"What? Where?" She tried to reach it with her small hand but she never found it.
So I grabbed a tissue and wiped it away, "it's here, dummy."
But I felt something while I was wiping it. Something like goosebumps and heartbeats.

I pulled my hand away from her face and feeling my cheeks turning red. Oh damn this feeling.

"Thanks." She said shortly.

"Uh yeah.. no problem."